Kookaburra shoved into closet! Who will become the gayest in the animal kingdom now?


So with the kookaburra back in the closet, I suppose it’s up to us to decide which animal will carry the "gayest" mantle. Here are my suggestions.

Penguins. We’re all familiar with And Tango Makes Three, the children’s book based on the true story of two male penguins from the Central Park Zoo who were given an egg to hatch and raise when they couldn’t have one of their own. They were the inspiration for Flipper and Steve. Also, there’s a gay penguin couple at the San Francisco Zoo named Harry and Pepper.

Koalas. Researchers in Australia discovered that "Female koalas indulge in lesbian ‘sex sessions,’ rejecting male suitors and attempting to mate with each other, sometimes up to five at a time."

Bonobos. LiveScience.com says, "Considered the closest living relative to humans, bonobos are not shy about seeking sexual pleasure. Nearly all of these peace-loving apes are bisexual and often resolve conflict by the ‘make love, not war’ principle. They copulate frequently and scream out in delight while doing so."

Black swans. BuzzFeed shared a story this year in which they reported that "20% of all [black swan] pairings are homosexual couples, with a quarter of all black swan families parented by homosexual couples that remain together for years." Male black swans even sometimes use a female for her birthing services then adopt the chicks once they’re hatched.

Dolphins. Esquire is only one of many magazines that has printed the graphic details of gay dolphin sex. We strive to keep it PG-13 around here, but the way lady dolphins do it? Well, it’s cunning.

Who gets your vote for gayest animal in the animal kingdom? It’s OK to say kookaburra. Mine is still kookaburra too. (Besides, my Aussie friends tell me they changed back the lyrics the next day.)¬†

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