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Kiyomi McCloskey on “Make or Break: The Linda Perry Project” and life after “The Real L Word”

Hunter Valentine were on our TV screens two summers ago on The Real L Word, and since then, they’ve kept busy on the road with constant touring around the United States, including a recent stint on Warped Tour. But tonight we’ll see the band-frontwoman Kiyomi McCloskey, drummer Laura Petracca and guitarist Aimee Bessada-on VH1 for the premiere of Make or Break: The Linda Perry Project.

Where The Real L Word was more about the lives of lesbian women in New York and Los Angeles, Make or Break is about a handful of artists selected to work with legendary songwriter Linda Perry in hopes of being signed to her record label at the end of the season. Hunter Valentine were presented with the chance of working with Linda a year ago while on tour with Girl in a Coma and Krissy Krissy, and it came so quickly, they had to jump off dates without telling fans why.

“It kind of came out of left field. There was a new show with Linda Perry and she was looking for artists to work with and, I don’t know-for some reason when these weird opportunities come along, I kind of didn’t actually think that they’re going to happen,” Kiyomi said with a laugh. “I think it came through our management or agent, and we auditioned on Skype. At the start of the tour, we did about a week of it and luckily we were going through L.A. so we knew if it was a go ahead and we were on it for sure, we would stop the tour in L.A. and if it wasn’t we’d just carry on. We really were waiting until the last minute. We didn’t know if we were going to have to stop or not. I think it was a day after L.A. we got to our Long Beach show and it was confirmed so we turned back around and waited until we were sent to that house.”

The house is a huge mansion in Los Angeles where Linda Perry invites Hunter Valentine and other participating musicians into her studio with her bandmates and encourages them to write and perform without putting on a front or forcing themselves to polish and self-edit.

“Linda’s a guru,” Kiyomi said of working with the show’s star. “I was making a joke that if she had a religion I’d be the first one to join it. The biggest thing for me as an artist with her is that she forced me to explore myself and my-I don’t know how to explain it. My issues with myself-the things that were kind of holding me back that are personal. The show’s about music but it’s like a therapy show. You know, I have to really dig deep in order to be able to pull some creativity out of me. Like I had to address a lot of my own personal demons and issues in order to get to the next level as an artist and she’s really really good at making you accountable for yourself and examining yourself about why you do the things you do. It’s important as an artist because that what makes you grow in the end.”

While the focus is on the music, there’s also a certain amount of drama as, for better or for worse, Make or Break is a reality television show, and Kiyomi said she carried “a bit of paranoia” with her after her experience on The Real L Word.

“It was definitely a very difficult time in my life to watch it air and watch it unfold the way they chose to portray my personality,” Kiyomi said of The Real L Word. “That was one of the hardest times in my life actually to watch unfold. I think there’s definitely a certain amount of paranoia that comes with it this time around but I’m trying to remember what’s done is done and when I was there I made the best choices that I could and, I think I said before, just stand behind that and it’s reality TV, they’re going to edit it however they want to but I think I was myself on this last show and… I don’t know. I hope that people can see our passion for our music and it’s really a music show and not a big dramatic Real L Word show.”

But Kiyomi doesn’t regret having been on The Real L Word, as it’s helped Hunter Valentine to reach many new fans that might not have otherwise heard their music.

“For every tough moment I had it was worth it because we exposed our music to so many people that it actually really help them get through their tough times. We’re still meeting new people that know of the band because they watched The Real L Word,” she said. “So I hope we can meet a whole new set of eye and ears with this one, because I think Showtime has a different demographic than VH1. We’ll see what happens! I have no idea what to expect after this one. Every single show was sold out [after the show aired] and we were not expecting that at all.”

Make or Break will likely have a more varied audience than that of The Real L Word, but Kiyomi said that she did feel a bond with Linda Perry over the shared fact that they identify as lesbians.

“Yeah, I mean, definitely. There’s that bond there, for sure,” Kiyomi said. “I don’t know if I connected with her on such a human level or, also because of that, she can pick apart when something’s bothering you, whether it’s a relationship forever. I’m not sure if that comes from a human thing or a gay thing.”

Kiyomi isn’t exactly sure what Vh1 will choose to air, nor can she say much about what we might see, but she does want people to know that being in a band is much more difficult than those who haven’t experienced will be able to tell from watching the tensions that arise between herself and her bandmates.

“You can’t really understand that dynamic until you’ve actually been in a band and slept in a van for like days and get in each other’s faces and still try to maintain creativity,” Kiyomi said. “It’s a very very unique relationships. It’s different for everyone. I think there are gonna be a lot of different elements that people get to see in music that you would never guess. It’s not all rock and roll and party times. There’s a lot of struggle in trying to make it happen.”

Hunter Valentine and their housemates, including a female R&B duo, three singer-songwriters and a rapper, weren’t allowed cell phones or the internet while on the show, but they could use a house phone to talk with family and friends. Most of their time was spent writing, though, and Kiyomi said she’s never written so many songs in her life. She also thinks that she’ll come out looking better on this reality show than the last, where she was shown to be a bit of a dictator when it came to the band.

“I think that during this process of the show you might see a different side of me,” she said. ” I seem like a hard ass because I believe in working hard. I don’t really put up with lazy people or people who are dishonest I guess. I think that Linda is really, really awesome, like we have a lot in common in that way, where she just doesn’t take it. Because I respect her so much, you may think we would butt heads but it was kind of the opposite because I’m in awe of her abilities and talents. It was definitely a very big living experience for me.”

One big change for Kiyomi since the show has stopped taping, though, is her break-up with Lauren Russell, a jewelry designer she began dating during The Real L Word. The two announced their split just last month after fans were wondering about their very separate seeming lives.

“The questions would not stop and I felt really dumb having to do that,” Kiyomi said of putting out a statement on their relationship’s end. “It felt arrogant to feel like I had to tell the general public that. But honestly the questions wouldn’t stop and I guess the public kind of look up to us as a couple in a way so I didn’t want to be dishonest. It felt like we were lying to our fans a little bit. I’m an open book.”

Kiyomi said she and Lauren had been broken up for a month and a half before they let fans know, and spoke candidly about her continued love for ex.

“I think that we faced a lot of challenges as a couple in terms of things that went down and we were really amazing at getting through a lot of them,” she said. “And a lot of other things started to wear down on us I guess. She’s my best friend in the whole world and we tried to make it work for a long time but different things, like I was away a lot. I’m sure people noticed that. It’s really hard and we were very committed to trying to see each other but she has a career and a job and a life at home too. She can’t always be on the road. We are still very close and it’s definitely a big, big change that I didn’t think was gonna happen because I wanted to get married and have kids. But at some point you have to address your own happiness. And I think a lot of people try so hard to make things work that they put their happiness aside, even though it might be really, really hard for you to get over a break up, you might come up on the other side in a better place. Or you should. I think it’s for the best.”

Because they were together while Make or Break was filming, though, there may be bits of their relationship that will air this summer, which Kiyomi jokes, “Yeah, gonna have to watch us still together on the show. I have no idea what they will use, so it should be pretty interesting!”

Hunter Valentine have been working on writing new material since the show’s end and plan on continuing to do so in the near future, with a few shows lined up for Shedonism and Key West Women’s Week in September. The latter is particularly exciting as Kiyomi said Women’s Week was her first ever lesbian event.

“It’s really, really exciting for me. I was 17!” she said. “Revisiting that whole [thing]-I have pictures from it. It’s so fucking funny. I have long hair, a little baby lesbian!”

Kiyomi was recently in L.A. for the premiere of a short film she starred in called Hector, directed by Michelle Abbott. It was Kiyomi’s first real acting experience, but has her ready to get into more.

“It’ s a whole different world for me. When you perform live you get that instant gratification,” she said. “When you’re filming something you just have to be a lot more focused and it’s a slower process, you don’t get that screaming fan in your face right away so you I know that you’ve done a good job. you have to be a little more patient with your art. But it’s challenging for me and I need that right now.”

Make or Break: The Linda Perry Project premieres tonight on Vh1. Visit huntervalentine.com for tour dates and more.

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