My girlfriend and I are in
the midst of planning our wedding — although we’re not as far along
as we theoretically should be. However, we do take some comfort in having
secured a nice local lesbian rabbi as our officiant. But perhaps we
acted too hastily and without enough imagination. Should we, perhaps,
have considered Kathy Griffin for the ceremony?
You may think I jest, but D-Lister
Griffin is licensed to perform weddings in New York and just performed
the ceremony for
a New York couple. It seems the couple, Brian Antsley and Erika Shapiro,
were big Griffin fans. Their request made its way to her, so she got
her online ordination from the Universal Life Church, jumped through
the necessary New York hoops, and performed the ceremony on Saturday.
True to character, Griffin opened the ceremony with raunchy jokes and
then had the bride recite the reception menu. (Note to self: Discuss
whether or not rabbi should open with a raunchy joke.)
The obvious irony with Griffin’s
ordination is how much flak she got for her Emmy acceptance speech,
which included this tidbit:
“A lot of people come up
here and thank Jesus for this award. I want you to know that no one
had less to do with this award than Jesus. So all I can say is, suck
it, Jesus; this award is my god now.”
So one does not think of her
as the obvious candidate for ordination. (You can revisit the linster’s coverage of the Jesus speech here.)
It sounds like the wedding
was a success for all (except perhaps any grandmothers present). The
bride and groom are huge fans and were thrilled to have Griffin there on
their big day. “It’s so unusual and something we’ll always remember,”
said the bride. Because most brides have a tough time remembering their
wedding day. And Kathy Griffin got some PR — not to mention footage
for an episode of My Life on the
will air in June. So everybody wins.
Now, if you’re reading this
and thinking about what jokes you want Kathy Griffin to tell at your
wedding, you’re likely out of luck. Although she’s legal to perform
weddings galore in New York, she says this was a one-shot deal. (She
may be missing out, though. I think the “Kathy Griffin Wedding Chapel”
has a nice ring to it. You’d think she’d at least open one in Las Vegas.)
Regardless, I guess this means that she won’t be officiating my wedding
even if I wanted her to. Which I don’t, because I’m not a big enough
But if I were going to go for
a celebrity officiant, who would it be? She wouldn’t even need to be
licensed in New York, because New York won’t recognize our marriage anyway.
Hmmm. My first thought is Jodie Foster because she’s smart and my girlfriend
and I both like her.
However, I want my girlfriend
to pay attention to me at the wedding. And Jodie Foster isn’t Jewish,
so she’s not a good replacement for a rabbi.
Nobody else really comes to
mind. I guess I don’t really need any guestbians on my wedding day.