This week, 22-year-old Katharine McPhee (the runner-up on last season’s American Idol) releases her first solo album (listen to it here). When I got the CD to review last week, the first thing I noticed wasn’t the music (more about that later), but the look: Sweet little Katharine is smokin’ hot. Somebody convinced Kat that she should wear thigh-high vinyl boots on the cover of her debut album, and whoever you are, Mysterious Stylist, I just wanna thank you.
I was so blinded by the hotness of those “boots” that, frankly, the music was pretty much irrelevant. That is, until I heard the third track, “Open Toes.” Let me just share some of these stunning lyrics with y’all:
I’ve been needing a girls’ night out
I’ve got nothing but hand-me-downs
I need a quick fix to make these clothes hotter …
Work or play
Night or day
Do my thing
Too cute in my open toes
Never too many open toes
A girl needs plenty open toes!
I’m lovin’ these slingback shoes
I like the way they stay loose
I could wear ‘em all day and listen to the click-clack
Shoes like this make me hate flats
Now, upon first listen, this song practically laid me flat on my back — from laughter, that is. But after I forced myself to listen to it a few more times while assiduously noting down the lyrics (I recommend having a cocktail while listening to this song to get the full effect; in other words, numb your brain so you can better experience the campy joy), I realized that this song is really a Femme Anthem, and by femme I mean any lesbian who owns, um, at least two dozen pairs of shoes. (Plus, you know that there’s gotta be about a hundred drag queens out there who are dying to cover this song.)
It also struck me that the shoe fetish song now seems to be quite the thing among Idol alum, as country-ish pop tartlet Kellie Pickler released a similar tune last fall, “Red High Heels.” But let’s face it: Kat’s “Open Toes” kicks those “Red High Heels” to the curb. Kellie’s just singing about having one pair of heels; Kat, on the other hand, demands more: “Swipe that card on good/Another pair leather and wood/I’m a sucker for a name brand.” The girl knows how to shop.
Personally, while I do like open-toed shoes (I have a pair of pink floral open-toed wooden-heeled shoes that are just darling, plus a pair of white patent-leather platform slingbacks), I’m partial to Katharine’s boots. Every girl needs at least one pair of killer boots; they always come in handy.
Oh yeah, and as for the music on Kat’s debut album? It’s kinda catchy. And I’m not just saying that. Kat’s got a lovely voice, really! But what do you ladies think of her? Does she live up to those boots?