Jingle belles: a merry lesbian holiday

 
 

Ever year, I hear the same Christmas songs blaring in my ears while doing my shopping. At least at home I can choose my own brand of holiday music, and I don’t care if they’re redone or completely new contemporary wintertime tunes — I just like them different from the same songs I hear every single year. (“Jingle Bell Rock,” get out of my life.)

A lot of artists record songs for this time of year, so I’m going to focus on those of the Sapphic variety. No, they aren’t lesbian Christmas songs per se, but they are sung by out artists. (Is lesbian Christmas different from regular Christmas? Maybe it is and I just never knew about it. Must only be visible to the straight eye.)

Here are some of my favorites (for listening or for laughing at; your choice).

Various ArtistsA Very Special Christmas, Vol. 2 (1992)

This charity holiday album featured several well-known singers doing renditions of traditional tracks as well as more newly penned songs, including Sinead O’Connor‘s cover of Bob Dylan‘s “I Believe in You.” Not too Christmasy, but fitting enough.

Rosie O’Donnell and Various ArtistsA Rosie Christmas (1999)

Before Rosie O’Donnell came out, she recorded the gayest Christmas album ever. The first holiday CD she made included duets with Cher, Elton John, Gloria Estefan and Darren Hayes of Savage Garden (who came out last year.)

Rosie O’Donnell and Various ArtistsAnother Rosie Christmas (2000)

Following the success of the previous year’s album, Rosie tried to out-gay herself with a duet with Ricky Martin. She also sang alongside the Dixie Chicks, Donna Summer and Sugar Ray (yes, in 2000).

Various ArtistsChristmas Calling (2003)

This compilation’s best track is Kaki King‘s “O Holy Night” mandolin make-over. Second best (and straight girl honorable mention): Fiona Apple‘s “Frosty the Snowman.”

Melissa EtheridgeA New Thought for Christmas (2008)

What, no Ricky Martin duet? Melissa’s versions of “Christmas (Baby Please Come Home)” and “Merry Christmas Baby” are the most lesbian on this list, and they’re better off for it. Can’t you just picture her singing them to Tammy Lynn?

Various ArtistsA Blackheart Christmas (2008)

As I mentioned a few weeks back in New Music Tuesday, Joan Jett‘s record label has released their own holiday album this year, and it’s a must-have for fans who enjoy rocking around the Christmas tree. Girl in a Coma does “I’ll Be Home for Christmas” and Joan takes on “Little Drummer Boy.”

Do you have any favorite holiday songs from someone who plays for our team?

 
 

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