Jillian Michaels talks childbirth with “Women’s Health”

 
 

It seems to me that no matter what Jillian Michaels does these days, some haters are throwing some shade in her general direction. First there were idiots spreading verbal diarrhea about her calling her Biggest Loser contestants “monkeys” in anything but the affectionate pet name it was intended to be. Now, it seems as though she is getting rocks thrown at her for not wanting to go through the ultimate karate chop to a woman’s body that comes from pregnancy.

When asked about having a baby during a recent interview with Women’s Health magazine, Michaels said, “I’m going to adopt. I can’t handle doing that to my body… Also, when you rescue something, it’s like rescuing a part of yourself.” 

After uttering just those words she is now facing criticism from doctors, women, therapists and, I’m sure, book clubs everywhere. In their eyes, she is giving women bad ideas about body issues and low self-esteem. Earth to these people – having a baby or choosing to adopt is a personal decision, and I’m sure no matter how much she talked about how much squeezing a grapefruit-sized human-alien out of your nether-regions will screw up that fantastic tight body of hers (complete with curves and all), there are probably some other reasons for her to want to adopt that just weren’t touched upon in the interview.

Since Jillian has better things to do than talk to me (read that as: she doesn’t know me yet but I’m sure we could do a number on a bottle of Patron) I’d like to come to her defense. Anyone who has seen her taking care of her contestants or read any of her books knows that she is a nurturer.

Sure, she gives tough love, but there is so much of her that just wants to save people. It seems to me that adoption would be the obvious way for her to get herself a baby. In fact, she’ll probably choose the chubbiest one out of the bunch and in three months time it’ll look like baby Hercules (please never let this happen).

Secondly, having a baby does screw up your body and it doesn’t take a vain personal trainer to realize this and then want to run away kicking and screaming. I have been chubby my entire life, been to fat camp twice, been on Weight Watchers about twenty times, haven’t mastered the art of thinking thin and I don’t want something else to add some inches to my hips or make my boobs sag more than they have to. If I were to have a baby on my own, I would make sure they cut it out of my belly and then tucked that sucker up nice and tight like the stars do it. As a Gold Star lesbian, there is nothing that sounds more painful than childbirth, except for maybe getting shot while giving breech childbirth.

Here’s the gist of it Haters, just because someone is a public figure – it doesn’t mean what is right for them is right for the general population or even for the soccer mom who had a lesbian experience in college and who now feels like she “knows” Jillian Michaels and wants to be like her. Regular childbirth isn’t for everyone and there are enough kids who need plenty of love who are waiting to be adopted.

 
 

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