Jenna Fischer has been kidnapped

 
 

You’ve always known that just below the surface, Dwight Schrute is a madman. Well here’s all the proof you need: Dwight has kidnapped Pam!

Jenna Fischer, who plays Pam Beesley on The Office, has a MySpace blog where she keeps in touch with The Office fans. Last week, her co-star Rainn Wilson hijacked the blog and posted this message:

Hey there Jenna’s MySpacers!

My name is Rainn Wilson and I’ve kidnapped the lovely Jenna, put her, bound, in the trunk of my firebird and logged onto her MySpace to send out this bulletin.

To free America’s sweetheart, Pam Beesley, one half of the magic which is “Jam,” you must attend my new movie, The Rocker, which opens August 20.

As soon as the film grosses 18.7 mil, she will be released and given a peach smoothie.

Many of you have perhaps seen posters of me in my leopard briefs, or the trailers in which my balls get racked by a power strip. And, although the film WILL be adored by legions of teen-aged male Dwight fans, it will also be loved by the whole GD family, including Amish cousins.

…Please spend your $10.50 American on The Rocker, get yourself a popcorn and a Mountain Dew, bring 1,800 of your closest friends so that 1) Jenna gets a smoothie and 2) They let me be in another movie someday.

That is all.

Rainn Dietrich Wilson

On Friday, E! Online’s Kristin Dos Santos blogged about The Office, presenting her case that the kidnapping is real:

Exhibit A: Jenna’s MySpace blog.

Exhibit B: I personally was on the set of The Office all day yesterday, where they were shooting a business ethics scene all day long, lead by the lovely Holly Flax (Amy Ryan). And I can tell you that the only series regular not in attendance was one Miss Jenna Fischer.

Exhibit C: Angela Kinsey tracked me down on the set to plead with me to help free Jenna, saying, “I am very concerned about this.” As if the kidnapping, canned food and 120-degree heat inside the car weren’t tragic enough, it turns out poor new mom Angela has no one to hang out with but her adorable 3-month-old baby girl.

“I told Rainn I need to talk to [Jenna],” Angela told me. “She’s my BFF, we have lots to do, we were going to Target, going to get pedicures. We go on walks. Yeah, we are fascinating, and he’s putting a real damper on my BFF time.”

The Rocker looks like the stupidest movie ever, but I am afraid I have no choice but to see it — I kind of have huge crush on Jenna Fischer.

 
 

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