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Interview with Suzanne Westenhoefer (March 2003)

Comedian and actress Suzanne Westenhoefer talks about the challenges of being an out lesbian comedian, her recent appearance on The Late Show with David Letterman, her role in the new lesbian movie A Family Affair, and her new CD.

AfterEllen.com: The Late Show with David Letterman has never had an out lesbian comedian doing lesbian-themed stand-up comedy on the show; why do you think you were asked to appear now? Were you nervous about being the first?

Suzanne Westenhoefer:Of the major late night hosts (Leno, Letterman, Conan, Kilborn and Arsenio) it goes like this…Kate [Clinton] and Lea [Delaria] did a spot each on Arsenio. Bob Smith (open gay comic) did one shot on Leno right after he and I did our HBO Specials (1994). Kate DID do Rosie (as did Lea) but they were not open (not allowed, I am sure). I also got a spot on The Jon Stewart Show (I think it was in 1996). That has been it.

I was the first for Letterman and yes I was very nervous – not just the being open thing, but I would be lying if I didn’t say that I felt the need to do REALLY well because I was speaking (and hopefully opening doors) for lots of gay folks. I was also scared because I am female (watch TV – not too many chicks getting the opportunity to do stand up either).

I think when it came down to it I was picked because I was funny, and successful (making a living etc.) BUT [also] because the man who has booked the comics on Letterman for the last two years knew me, knew my work (and had been trying for about the last two years by the way to get me on). He believed in me and championed me. When it comes right down to it…just like they always say. It’s who you know. Remember this: Ray Romano, Kevin James, Bonnie Hunt….they all have shows because of Letterman. This is how it works.

AE: It appeared from watching the show on television that the studio audience was very engaged and appreciative of your performance; was that your perception at the time? Overall, are you happy with your performance?

SW: The studio audience had a funny look on their face for about the first seven seconds. Contrary to popular belief, they are not mostly New Yorkers, but tourists, and although they say this all the time in the business…”Funny is funny…it doesn’t matter,” it’s a lie. People will NOT laugh at a lesbian if it goes against their moral or whatever beliefs….trust me, I have been doing this since July 31 1990. I am an expert on this!

[But] once the audience knew it was “okay” (meaning I was just going to be out and talk about Annie) they laughed. Network TV helps a lot. I had practiced that set six times: twice in LA, twice in Ohio, and Twice in NY, and there were still many who were shocked and upset.

I am very happy with how it turned out, very happy that I got three “applause breaks” without them using the applause sign (my friend was in the audience and she took note of that….we are shallow like that!)

AE: Did you ever consider “toning down” the lesbian-related references (to your girlfriend, the lesbian cruise, etc.) for the Letterman appearance? Was it ever suggested by the Letterman or CBS folks that you do so?

SW:The Letterman people were totally fine with my being out etc. There was some concern – we went over jokes on the phone with producers etc. There was a lot of discussion about HOW out and HOW many times to say lesbian, was I going to say “dyke” etc. (I didn’t end up saying dyke, I don’t think) but they were fine in the end with everything. We had all this confusing stuff in the beginning – they only wanted ‘20% gay stuff blah blah blah….in the end, they let me do my set. I got a lot of help from the show’s booker (he’s a comic too, and very funny) and everyone just sorta said GO.

Funny note: Paul Shaffer and the band were very cool to me. He said they knew I was going to be way fun since one of the “bullet points” on my cue cards was “LESBO CRUISE.” They all enjoyed that.

AE: What are the challenges in performing in front of a mostly-straight audience (like Letterman) versus a mostly-gay one (like a lesbian cruise)?

SW:The difference between a straight audience and gay audience and the difference between an all lesbo cruise…..it’s unreal. They are not the same at all. But I do the same stuff. You can’t compare. I have noticed that I can “straight bash,” as they say, to an all hetero audience, but the gays don’t like it. They think you are being mean. I get that.

AE: You have always been very up-front about your sexual orientation in your act; have you found this to be a strength or a liability in terms of gaining broader national exposure?

SW:I think my being upfront and open since the beginning has been excellent for me, and good and bad for my career. I have been told so many times for years: ” If you just didn’t have to mention it….we could put you on the show…cast you….make a show about you…etc. etc. etc.” Whatever. I couldn’t care less. I made the decision right from the beginning to be open. I am very frank about the fact that I had an “agenda.” I wanted to make things better for gays. Simple. Can’t do that in the closet. Simple.

AE: Do you think it’s getting easier for comedians to include explicit references to lesbianism in their performances in front of general audiences? How has that changed from when you first started out?

SW:It is way easier to talk about lesbian stuff in front of hetero audiences now – they know stuff. Used to be I had to take 2 minutes to explain butch and femme or top and bottom or a women’s festival, or P-town. Now they are savvy, mostly because people are more out and so most heteros know gay people. And TV and movies, etc., more gay images. I mean, come on, we always said that’s what we need! As usual, we were right.

AE: Only a small percentage of comedians ever get the kind of opportunities you’ve received (the HBO Comedy Special, the appearance on Letterman, your sold-out tours, etc.); to what do you attribute your success?

SW:I can’t even begin to tell you why I’ve had the success I’ve had….My girlfriend says it’s because I am the funniest (she is very succinct). I think it’s because I love doing it. And because I am funny. I could love doing it I guess, but without the laughs, it would only go so far. But I am very aware of my fortune (and as a long time Buddhist I will also say, it’s part of my Karma).

AE: How has your routine changed or evolved over time?

SW:My act has changed in that I can say almost anything now. In the beginning I had to be so gay, because you couldn’t very well say “I’m a lesbian and don’t you hate traffic??” You had to talk about it, because no one was. There were so many questions in the audiences’ mind. And for all-gay audiences, you had to make it a big deal because we had so few voices. I really understood that.

I used to hate it when you would go see a lesbian performer who was closeted and she would toss some little bone of a clue to the audience and all the dykes would yell, and I would be like “Whatever…are you or aren’t you? Just shut up if you aren’t coming out.”

AE: What inspired you to become a comedian? Which comedians do you really admire?

SW:I was not “inspired” to become a comedian – I was forced, by my ex girl and my friends, and the regulars at the bar I tended in New Jersey. Everyone kept saying I should, so I did. Who knew?

I love comics, so I enjoy most of them. Recently watching all of Eddie Izzard (amazing), love Chris Rock, Carlin is a god, Wanda Sykes, she kills me. I admire all comics, even if they suck. It’s a really odd and hard job, anyone who can make a living at it deserves a hand. (Which they will probably bite…we are comics!)

AE: What’s the best and worst part of doing this for a living?

SW:Best: being on stage. Hands down. Doing the show…..it’s the reason for all the rest of it. Worst: the travel! And that just keeps getting worse with all the security and airlines going bankrupt. I wish I had my own jet….then all would be right with the world.

AE: You have a role in the new movie A Family Affair, in which you play a brunette straight woman. Which was more difficult – pretending to be straight, or to be a brunette?

SW:Pretending to be Jewish and a brunette. I mean at least I have experience pretending to be straight before….hello, high school anyone?

AE: What made you decide to take this role?

SW:I’m an actor. I audition all the time…I auditioned and they gave me the part. I love doing that work. I’ve been studying for over 7 years, I was happy for the opportunity as all struggling actors are.

AE: Are you interested in doing more acting, or do you prefer to stick primarily to stand-up?

SW:I don’t think I could ever stop stand-up. You will notice that they all return: Seinfield, Rosie, Ellen, Leno….the list goes on and on….no success, no acting job, nothing can take the place of being on stage by yourself and working a room. I work very hard in acting class…and I really hope to get work, but stand up is my love.

AE: What are you currently working on? Any new projects in the pipeline?

SW:The only new projects I have are to continue touring ( I don’t ever actually stop). I usually tour Aug-June, take off July, and start all over again. And I am pitching ideas for television shows – but you can’t talk about it or someone will steal your idea….so you know, I am in LA, doing the “lunch meeting ” thing. Oh and I have a new CD, Guaranteed Fresh. I just got the first shipment today so they should be out and about by now.

AE: Any advice for aspiring lesbian comedians?

SW:The advice I give to aspiring lesbo comics: be out…you aren’t fooling anyone. We all always knew about Rosie and Ellen. It’s SO boring. And make your own work. By that I mean, don’t just hang out in a comedy club in your home town hoping to get up – host AIDS fundraisers, and Breast Cancer Auctions, and drag queen contests, and drag KING contests. Get up and do comedy wherever you can!

Do you know why? Cause you cannot practice at home. You wanna play piano? You can practice all by yourself. Study psychology? Get the books, read them. Comedy must have an audience…so go find people and work hard.

And be nice. That being an obnoxious brat is so last decade. We are tired of it.

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