IM-ing with Nicol Paone

 
 

Nicol Paone is, quite literally, a funny person. The star of LOGO’s The Big Gay Sketch Show can be seen in Judd Aptow’s Funny People playing opposite Adam Sandler as his character’s sister. Although the film isn’t a straight-up comedy that showcases Paone’s formidable talents for funny and impersonation, her fans can catch her on the occasional stage, on funnyordie.com, and BGSS, Season 3, premiering in early 2010.

I love interviewing people, but hate transcribing. To solve that problem, I asked Nicol if she was up
for an experiment: An interview via an instant message chat. She was game and away we went.

Here’s exactly how that unfolded – the only things I changed are the typos (mostly mine) and grammar (me again). Eavesdrop in on us as we talk about Nicol’s LOGO show, how she’s putting the “B” in LGBT, and tries to give me a lesson on how to do improv.

4:15 PM 

Dara: Hey you

Nicol: Hey!

Dara: What’s up?

4:17 PM 

Nicol: Sorry! I lost the screen for a second!

Dara: I thought you dropped your carabcake

Or crab cake, if you like English.

Nicol: What’s up??? I’m just having a white wine spritzer and thinking about all the mistakes I have made in my life!

Dara: That all? I’d need something a tad stronger for that.

Nicol: Yeah, and I have come to the conclusion that I haven’t made any, so there!

Dara: None? Are you a unicorn?

Nicol:  Yes, sometimes I am quite magical.

Dara: Do you crap rainbows?

Nicol: I crap gold.

Dara: What are we saying?? OK. IM interviews might not be one of my best ideas.

Nicol: Get a hold of yourself, we just started!

Dara: OK. I’m ready. How’s every little thing on The Big Gay Sketch Show?

Nicol: AMAZING!!

Dara: Great! Did you finish taping the newest season?

Nicol: We finished in April. It will air in February with RuPaul and The Sarah Silverman Show. Season 3 is ridiculously better that the other seasons. I can’t wait for it to air.

Dara: Why ridiculously better? I thought your previous seasons were pretty damn funny.

Nicol:
Thanks. I think we are getting the hang of it and by now, we should be damn funny. Season 1 was kinda like gay Disney 101, Season 2 was much better, and Season 3 is our best yet.

Dara: Isn’t “gay Disney” redundant?

Nicol: Yes, it is.

Dara: I like Big Gay Sketch Show because there’s nothing else like it on TV.

Nicol: I
am super proud of it. If we shot 22 episodes like every other TV show does, my life would be set because it is a dream job for me. To get to do comedy and send up behavior that makes me angry or frustrated in front of an audience consisting of my friends and family is really a dream job for me.

Dara: Sure is.

Nicol: I said dream job twice.

Dara: Maybe it’s a recurring dream job. What behavior makes you angry?

Nicol: Hmmmm, where do I start…there’s so much. Intolerance, stupidity….

Dara: Which is worse? Intolerance or stupidity?

Nicol:
Well unfortunately, they seem to go hand in hand. I would say that intolerance is worse because you know what you are doing when you are intolerant, you are making a choice.

Dara: True. Stupid can’t help it.

Nicol: Yup!

Dara: You almost feel bad for them. Almost.

Nicol:
I wrote a sketch about a stupid soldier and people loved it. It was based on the Lynndie England-Abu Ghraib scandal. Stupid is funny!

Dara: Oh, that girl was beyond stupid.

Nicol:
And I wrote a character for BGSS. Her name is Dolores and she’s a neurotic upper-crusted Connecticut wedding planner at a lesbian wedding who just doesn’t know how to act. She says stuff like “Do you call yourself bride? Is that what lesbians say….I don’t know!”

Dara: haha!

Nicol: It’s funnier when she says it because she’s nervous and just got electrocuted by an electric dog fence.

Dara: I love an electrocution.

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