How to win fans and influence people while keeping your clothes on

 
 

As Sarah pointed out last week, the more press Jennifer Aniston does for Marley & Me, the less she can keep her pants on.

I loved Jennifer Aniston on Friends more than I can express; not a Thanksgiving goes by when I don’t bring a dessert to my grandma’s and say, “First there’s a layer of ladyfingers, then a layer of jam, then custard — which I made from scratch — then raspberries, more ladyfingers, then beef sauteed with peas and onions, then a little more custard, and then bananas, and then I just put some whipped cream on top!”

There’s something about Aniston’s movies, though, that just don’t resonate with me — and no amount of half-naked magazine photos is going to change that.

But you know what might change it? Magazine photo shoots with puppies.

Rashida Jones and Natalie Portman solved the financial crisis with puppies, and I think puppies may just be the thing to counter the way magazine covers objectify women.

Let’s just do a little test. Which of the following photos make you like these women more:

Charlize Theron at a movie premiere, or Charlize Theron in a baseball cap with a Cocker Spaniel?

Blake Lively at a charity event or in a ponytail with her rat, erm, tiny dog?

Jessica Alba at an awards ceremony or Jessica Alba in pigtails with her puppy?

Jessica Biel at the Oscars or Jessica Biel carrying her big ol’ mutt?

Kate Walsh at the Emmys or Kate Walsh in a t-shirt with her Germa Shepherd?

I think the choice is clear: puppies.

Will a Labrador Retriever make you see Marley & Me? Or will you go because of the nudey pictures?

 
 

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