How to be the least popular girl at the party

15. Fighting with your girlfriend for all the world to see.
Your relationship is lame and unhealthy.

16. Getting ratchet.

Ain’t nobody got time for that.

17. Constantly fixing your friend’s hair.
You are not a monkey, she is going for the bedhead look.

18. Excusing yourself to poop.
Never talk about poop.

19. Hooking up with the host in the host’s bedroom- while your partners are downstairs.

Flaunting infidelity is trashy and cruel.

20. Hiding behind furniture.

I see London, I see France, I see you behind the Ottoman.

21. Constantly picking a wedge.
Thongs are perma wedgies so just wear thongs until you no longer feel cloth between your asscheeks.

22. Spilling >3 drinks.
If you can’t drink, don’t.

23. Bring a bag of pork rinds.

My roommate’s contribution, “Some girl brought over a bag of pork rinds and they smelled up the whole house. That shit happened to me and we ended up asking her to leave.”

24. Being really quiet for the majority of the party, but secretly mooching off others and then turning into a sloppy loud laugher who asks things like, “Oh, this is YOUR place?”

If you haven’t yet encountered this girl, you are this girl.

25. Bumming cigs all night, telling every other bummer where you got the cig, then bitching about the brand of bummed cig.
Mooching is never sexy.

26. Militant veganism.
Some people are going to eat meat in front of you and you need to accept that.

27. Obsessively checking Instagram/FB/Twitter.
The party is here. You are at the party. You are where the action is. Get off your tiny computer.

28. Taking non-stop selfies.
Save selfies for when you’re alone and want attention. Make like me and hop in a photobooth.

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