Oh my lovely gay ladies! How we love to “share”! We’re so good at it! We share news, stories, confessions, advice, wardrobes, rounds of beer, vegan potluck dinners, friends, ex-girlfriends. There are no limits on how well we share! So when faced with this:
Who could blame us for getting a little over-excited? My own theory, ladies, is that social networking sites are part of a broader conspiracy directed entirely at The Lesbians:
Think about it. Of course they would want to know all our secrets! Resist gay ladies, resist! I will now arm you with everything you need to help us retain what little mystery we have left.
1. A Guide to Relationship Status Updates
Now my precious creatures, be honest with me: does your Facebook page look a little like this?
Because if so, then you my friend, are a gaylady Facebook status whore. For the love of god, think about your poor, bemused acquaintances and your technologically savvy Great Aunty Jean, all of whom are having a hard time trying to keep your love life straight (forgive my unfortunate choice of language, gay ladies). No good can ever come of this.
Perhaps – whilst this may in fact feel completely alien and unnatural to you – I may gently suggest that you hold back on proclaiming your “relationship” to the world if there’s a possibility that there are better words to describe what you’re experiencing, say for example, “fleeting crush,” “ill-advised fling” or “one night stand”? When Facebook eventually caves in to my petition and offers these new categories for your selection, please go ahead and choose amongst them accurately.