Hottest women over 50: for adults only

 
 

If you’ve been around AfterEllen.com at all the past few weeks, you know that we’re holding our collective breath in anticipation of the 2008 AfterEllen.com Hot 100 list, due Monday. Security is tight: Sarah has been spotted with a briefcase chained to her wrist. (I hear she likes chains, though, so it might be unrelated.) Rumor has it that Leisha Hailey has been dethroned as No. 1, so I honestly have no idea what to expect.

I do know, however, that we will not have enough women over 50 on our list. Of course, I think that mature women should rule the world (or at least the country *cough* Hillary *cough*). I was delighted to see the EW.com list of “33 Hotties Over Age 50” because it gives me an opportunity to give beautiful women of a certain age their due. (The EW.com list includes men, too, if you’re interested, which I am not. I’m also ignoring the term “GILF” because the only “G” I can think of is “grandparent” and that’s just wrong.)

The list started on a high note – literally. No. 1 is everybody’s favorite president, Mary McDonnell (56). Battlestar Galactica may be going away, but President Roslin will be in my heart forever. Sigh.

Jessica Lange was hot at 27 when we first saw her in King Kong. She sizzled at 45 as a slightly unstable siren in Blue Sky. And the hot flashes she still gives us at 58 have nothing to do with menopause.

Does anyone remember The Seduction of Joe Tynan? Why should you? It was a decent but unremarkable film. What is remarkable, though, is that I went to see the movie and stayed for the next two showings. Then I went back and saw it again. I just couldn’t get a certain actress out of my head. I didn’t know why at the time. Now I do. And Meryl Streep is still in my head. I hope she never leaves.

Sophia Loren is 73. Sure, she’s had a few nips and tucks, but sexiness like hers transcends appearance. An Italian restaurant in Dallas has a Sophia Loren room with pictures of her lining the walls. I have no idea if the food is any good, but I keep going back – for the spice.

Dame Helen Mirren describes herself as “being famous for being cool about not being gorgeous.” Not thinking she’s gorgeous is doubtless one reason she is. I am forever amazed that Mirren can move from assassin to queen to madam and have our adoration at every turn. But what can I say? She had me at … oh, hell, she’s always had me.

Ask the general population about Susan Sarandon’s hottest roles and they’ll cite Bull Durham or White Palace. Ask AfterEllen.com and we’ll shiver a bit thinking of The Hunger or get a little wistful about what we didn’t see in Thelma & Louise. But we all agree on one thing: Sarandon is living proof that smart and sexy are not mutually exclusive.

I must commend the folks of EW.com for including the epitome of hotness, Tina Turner. At 68, Turner can out-sing, out-dance and out-smoke women a third of her age. I don’t know how she does it, but I hope she keeps doing it for a very long time. Please add Dallas to your tour, Tina. I need to see those legs in person.

The list goes on to include Angela Bassett, Lena Olin, Iman, Isabella Rossellini, Candace Bergen and others. But where are Sela Ward, Dana Delaney, Glen Close and Sigourney Weaver? And how could Latina ladies have been overlooked – what about Sonia Braga or Gloria Estefan or Rita Moreno?

But that’s enough from me. Take a look at the list and tell us what you think. Who’s your favorite over-50 hottie? What mature beauties would make EW’s list better? Any predictions on which of them might make our Hot 100?

 
 

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