“Heading Out” recap: Surprise! (Episode 1)

Hip blonde girl peeks her head into the kitchen like a younger, messier, British Sarah Jessica Parker, and she is disturbed by what she just overhead: not only is Sara still closeted to her parents, but she’s also 40, not 32 as she had been told. Gasp!

Sara: Well, I never thought you’d BELIEVE me.
Blonde girl: I should have known. You tap your feet to music. You invite someone over for sex, and then offer them yogurt.
Sara: Osteoporosis is really on the rise, so it’s —
Blonde girl: This is a deeply uncool situation. I mean, I’m embarrassed. I’ll see ya.

Haaaaappy birthday!

Sara then heads to her bestie’s house, the overly neurotic Jamie, played by Dominic Coleman, who ignores Sara’s existential angst of feeling shame constantly draping around her “like ivy,” and how she’s worried that if it all goes away, there might be nothing left underneath. He asks her to take her feet off the table. Hence is the beauty of comedy: slipping in harsh truths without even giving us time to overthink it; moving swiftly on without crying. She then asks him to be her French speaking, artificial-leg-selling beard for when her parents visit. He, unsurprisingly, says no.

They both head out to meet other bestie, Justine, played by Nicola Walker (yes, I love you!), at Justine and Sara’s netball match. Dumb American Admission #1: Listen, I had never heard of netball before this very moment. It appears to be a basketball-ish game, except the ball is passed and never dribbled, and the net is weird and dinky, and also Justine and Sara’s team suck at it.

Just getting into the zone.

Justine gets a red card and is kicked out of the game; she storms out of the exit to promptly turn around and walk back in to retrieve her bag (still holding the dead cat) and her dog, who is absolutely adorable, and walk back out — again. “I am fully aware of how embarrassing this is on every level, so — goodbye!”

Happy birthday!

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