At dinner, after some gross looking lentils have been passed around because Bumbles heard “that’s what you ladies like,” someone who isn’t so excited is Justine, who tells Sara she’s furious with her for not telling her about her and Toria. Ha, Justine! To which Sara responds with one of her befuddled perfect Sara faces.
Then, amazingly, Dad says that what he’s always wanted to know is how lesbians have sex. He listened to a program on BBC4 once about it, but he still doesn’t really get it. He holds up some salt and pepper shakers–or, “Sally Salt, and Pauline Pepper”–and asks if Sara would care to explain? Bumbles is also giddy about the prospect: “Oh, yes, please do! I’ve always wanted to know.”
We then cut to the clock whirring to an hour and a half later, with Sara having created an elaborate contraption in the middle of the table, of which she’s explaining the final components. After an expectant pause, Bumbles and Dad agree: “Nope. Still don’t get it.” I’m not sure whether this over-exaggeration of the perception of gay sex being confusing to straight people is really funny, or simply perpetuates the perception of gay sex being confusing.
Seriously! It’s not that hard!
Dad soon invites Justine and Jamie down to his fancy wine cellar, in which Justine and Jamie get promptly locked inside of after Dad returns upstairs to get a bottle opener and happens to fall asleep on his way. And speaking of falling asleep, Bumble has ushered Toria and Sara into their room for the evening, and also apparently given them these outfits to change into:
Even if nothing else entertaining happened in this episode at all, it would all be worth it, in my opinion, for these night caps. They are amazing. Look at them! Amazing! Bumble then comes in to wish them a good night, and also to hand over some handcuffs in case they might want them, and please, do not feel uncomfortable having lots of lesbian sex.
All the awards for your face, Sue Perkins.
Instead of having sex, however, Sara decides to talk to Toria about how she’s keeping her parents in the dark about not wanting to someday return to the family business of taking care of the manor, as they keep hinting about. Seems Toria is just as scared about “coming out” about her own issues with her parents, and that she and Sara perhaps aren’t all that different after all. And then they hear a ghost and Toria begins clutching her head and singing nursery rhymes and hugging her teddy bears. Naturally.