“Hand aufs Herz” recap: Your Love is My Drug

The next morning Emma stops by Jenny’s to apologize. And here’s the second best thing about this show: When Stefan tells a freshly showered Jenny he let Emma into her room, the music and Jenny’s face go, “Oh, no! There’s a dead body in there!” And when Emma pulls back the covers to reveal Sophie’s hungover head, her face and the music go, “Well, it might as well be a dead body in there!”

Jenny chases Emma downstairs where they have the following conversation:

Emma: What the actual hell, man?
Jenny: Nothing, I swear!
Emma: Oh, it was something!
Jenny: Except is was nothing!
Emma: Bollocks! It was at least ten somethings! And after we slept together and everything!
Jenny: It was zero nothings! What you and I did in that bad is the exact opposite of what Sophie and I did in that bed!
Emma: A likely story! Liar!

(“Chapter Two: Jumping to Conclusions Like You’re Jumping off a Bridge.”)

At school, Emma’s like, “So Jenny’s cheating on me with Sophie.” And Timo’s like, “OK, a) Sophie is straight. And b) Even if Sophie was gayer than three-dollar bill, Jenny would never choose her over you.” At Jenny’s, Sophie’s like, “Thanks for letting me crash half-naked in your bed.” And Jenny’s like, “OK, a) You’ve got to stop with the drugs, because b) Little Heart knows a thing or two about being an addict.”

There’s this thing girls do (not just lesbians, but girls) (not all girls, but still: girls) that drives me absolutely bananas. And yet! It is so endearing on Emma! Jenny finds her at school and says, “There’s nothing going on with me and Sophie.” And Emma goes, “I know, but I’m still angry because of this new thing I came up with when we weren’t talking.”

The new thing is: Jenny’s shutting her out. Which is true. And they’ve never made any of their problems better by not processing the hell out of them. But also, Jenny’s scared of pulling back the veil on her past, and who can blame her? Not only does she hail from the kissing capitol of the European Union; she popped pills over there like she was living inside an episode of Skins.

Jenny finally decides to test the drug-addled waters by telling Emma about her friend who used to have a drug problem, all, “One of my best mates from London, um, Penny Cartmann, was a serious addict. She had these clothes from outer space, and also she did a s–t ton of drugs. She had these blue eyes that made every color in the crayon box jealous, and drugs were her main thing. She had this dimple that was like God’s personal gift to her face, and she also consumed several truckloads of drugs.” Emma’s like, “Wow, that sounds rough for your friend; you want some coffee or something?”

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