“Hand aufs Herz” recap: Puppy Love


The next day, Caro launches a personal vendetta against Jenny and it starts with an announcement to the common room that there’s a new mayor of Slutville and that mayor is Jenny Hartmann. Emma hops right up off the couch and gets in Caro’s face because guess who is allowed to disparage the name of her lady love? No one, that’s who. She’s like, “Say it again and I will throttle you.” And Caro goes, “Jenny. had sexual intercourse. with Ben.” True to her word, Emma tries to murder Caro with her ineffectual fists of lesbian emo rage.

Jenny is at home eating breakfast, sorting through the mail, when a letter from one Miss Emma Müller catches her eye. The same Miss Emma Müller who is, at that very moment, getting her ass kicked trying to defend Jenny’s honor. Jenny opens it up and reads the notes from Hamburg. She moons and swoons and then she’s like, “Oh, shit!” and rushes out the door to try to find Emma before Emma finds out she bonked Ben.

At school, Ben greets Jenny at the door, just bubbling over with the news about the girl fight — “I don’t get it; why would Emma be so upset that you shagged me? She must want a piece of me, too!” — and Jenny knocks him out of the way to find Emma. When she busts into the chorus room, Emma is prowling around on stage, explaining to Luzi about the many, many ways she’s going to murder Caro. Jenny goes, “Emma!” And Emma goes, “Jenny!” And the look they exchange is hot enough to melt the sun, so Luzi grabs Timo, all, “Um, we should go before secondhand fire consumes our souls.”

Jenny says she got Emma’s letter and she felt such an upsurge of affection that she literally flew to school on the wings of love, and Emma starts Emma-ing on about Caro and how she’s got to die now because of being a liar and calling Jenny a slut. Jenny’s like, “Emma, please. Emma, stop talking. Emma!” Emma hushes just long enough for Jenny to say, “It’s true. I had sex with Ben.”

The camera closes in on Emma’s face, and it’s the saddest thing you’ve ever seen in your life.

Two more recaps and we’ll be all caught up. Check back tomorrow for the next installment. In the meantime, I want to let you know that the Hand aufs Herz production team is thrilled with the international interest in their show. They’re working on a way to make the Jemma scenes available to a worldwide audience. And later this week I’m going to interview Kasia Borek and Lucy Scherer, who are also super excited about your support.

I said it last time and I’ll say it this time: HaH is the way fandom should be done. A million thank yous to the fans who have worked tirelessly to help me watch this show. You guys are the ones making all this exciting stuff happen. You found something worth adoring out loud, and you’re doing it with all kinds of grace and warmth. And I honor you. I really do. Thank you for showing me the way.

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