“Hand aufs Herz” recap: Peanut Butter and Jelly

 
 

The thing they figure out together at school the next day is that they can’t keep their hands off each other.

There’s a song playing talking about how you can be the peanut butter to my jelly while they touch each other covertly and stare at each other longingly and pretty soon, Emma is dragging Jenny into the STAG room for some full-on making out.

She pushes Jenny against the wall and between their frantic kisses they talk about how they’re never going to stop kissing. “Not even if I wear those sparkly pink Traveling Pants leggings I wore that one time when we took over the school? Or my bullet earrings?” No, not even then. In the middle of their mad pash, Bodo busts in, and I don’t know why, but this screencap is the sexiest thing I’ve ever seen. After I capped it, I just sort of stared at it for half an hour humming about peanut butter and jelly.

Emma’s like, “Bodo, Jenny. Jenny, Bodo.” Jenny goes, “Hi, Bodo.” It’s amazing. Emma looks like her head is going to explode and Jenny is still smirking, leaning against the wall trying to catch her breath.

Emma tries to weave a yarn about how they were “practicing” for a “play.” And Bodo’s like, “Yeah? Looks like maybe this isn’t the first time you’ve ‘rehearsed’ it.” Jenny goes, “Guess we’re pretty good.” And her voice is, like, two levels huskier than normal. I can’t deal with it.

Bodo agrees to keep schtum about the whole thing. Emma’s like, “Jenny can be the peanut butter to my jelly. She can be the butterflies I feel in my belly. She can be my captain, I can be her first mate. She can be the chills that I feel on our first date. And you, Bodo, can be the first boy I punch in the nuts if you don’t GET OUT OF HERE so I can make out with my girlfriend some more.”

Jenny smiles her dimpled smile. Emma scowls her randy scowl. And everywhere around the world, every lesbian melts in a puddle of swoon.

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