“Guiding Light” 9/18 mini-cap: All’s well that ends well

Well, Otalia fans, this is the last recap. It’s been a wonderful ride. I have enjoyed having every one of you in the back seat. Though Guiding Light was traded in for cash for clunkers and what’s behind curtain #3, Otalia will live on. Thanks to your request there is now a written history. Albeit, not a very reverent one, but a humorously fitting one. Thank you for all your support.

Olivia and Natalia have their arms around each other and are attached at the hip. Could be my mind schmootz, but it appears they’re basking in afterglow. Personally, I never believed that network BS about them waiting because they had never been with a woman before. These are not two teenagers fumbling around in the dark, these are two experienced women, and lust is lust. It’s the same old bike, just get on and ride.

Otalia and Emma stop off before the wedding to see Philip. Beth comments on how close Olivia and Natalia have become. Philip says she has no idea. Actually, none of us have a freaking clue.

The female family of three drops by Rafe’s in hopes he wants to ride as a family to the nuptials. Rafe explains that he already has plans, but he will save a dance for Emma. Natalia hugs Rafe and says he is a good boy. There is that word again: Good. If I never have to type it again, it will be too soon.

The happy threesome stop by Alan’s hospital room. Emma says her entire family will be at the wedding including her dad and her brother, Rafe. Brother? He looks at the blissful couple at the door. Nat smiles in confirmation. Olivia puts her arms around Natalia and proclaims they are a “family” — which along with the euphemistic words “together” and “couple” means they are having sex. Alan’s heart monitor speeds up, but this news is not what kills him.

Alan wants to know if Emma is happy. Of course she is, just look at her two mommies. Most would be down right giddy! Alan says that’s all that matters. Emma runs out to get a lollipop from the nurse, whose name is probably Kiera.

Doris walks into the wedding looking fabulous in a smart green frock. She is running a little late because she had to stop by Emma’s school and pick up her date. Mayor Wolfe’s party affiliation is now confirmed, as she is dating a fetus.

She introduces, Jamanda (Jamanda? Really?), the bartender from Towers, to Ashlee. Ashlee grabs Doris and hugs her. Score mom! Ashlee is so happy Doris is allowing her in. Doris spots Jamanda trying to serve Olivia and hurries to her side. She is Olivia Spencer after all. She’s gay, not dead, which means she now has the other half of the population to vamp.

Continuing the coming out tour of Springfield, Otalia pull up to the next venue, Reva and Josh. Reva congratulates Natalia on having a little girl. Olivia strokes Nat’s belly. Natalia reiterates how excited they are; I’m thinking it’s not all about the baby.

Otalia leave to find Emma. Reva says she is happy that Natalia is such a good friend and really seems to care about Olivia, after all, she doesn’t have many friends. Josh tells Reva they are more than friends, they are a couple. It’s Reva, so look out here it comes. She merely smiles and nods. She is happy for them. Life is too short, and there will be other days of our lives.

The wedding on the Love Boat is over and “The Newlyweds” have a kissing contest. Once again, Otalia is eclipsed by a game show. For obvious reasons, Liv and Nat don’t enter the kissing contest, but if they ever have a hand holding or a forehead bumping competition, they will wipe the floor with these amateurs.

Everyone is dancing at the reception. There is Otalia cutting the rug, doing the CBS Sapphic samba — one step forward, one step back, repeat. Persistent in his quest for Springfield’s most unavailable women, Frank is dancing with Doris. Doris seems to have kicked her date to the curb. She must have gotten tired of cutting up her meat for her.

Otalia are walking along the beach and run into Josh. He says it’s nice to see them together. Olivia jests that it’s every man’s fantasy — not to mention two-Goose-away women. Josh thanks Olivia for being his friend and explains that he is leaving town for awhile. Josh asks Natalia to take care of Olivia and be there for her when she’s ready to let the “girls” out. Natalia says no problem.

Nat and Liv are in the kitchen packing lunch for Rafe, the first of many meals ready to eat. Natalia is worried about him. Olivia assures her he will be fine. Nat wants to know how she can be so sure. Olivia smiles at Natalia and says she has faith. Liv didn’t need Father Ray to learn faith makes all thingspossilble; it was the cookies.

The bus arrives for boot camp. Natalia is ugly crying. Rafe, in rushed clarity, but clarity nonetheless, asks Olivia to take care of his mother. Rafe hugs Natalia, says he loves her, and gets on the bus to be the best that he can be. Olivia comforts Natalia as she cries. Something tells me there was a kiss here.

Olivia, Nat, and Frank are at the park discussing baby stuff when Frank gets a call that Daisy has been accepted at Berkley (the real Berkley? Daisy?), and as luck would have it with Doris’ new ties to San Francisco, she pulled strings to get Ashlee into writing school and both girls will go together.

Frank leaves Otalia at the park. Liv asks Natalia what she wants to do. Of course, “IDK”. This is on-screen but use your imagination. I can give you my top 10, and clothes are not involved until #11. Anyone notice a theme of this recap? I am sexually frustrated, but it’s with their sex!

Otalia begin to talk about life and love. Olivia says she has gotten everything she has always wanted, but she feels bad for Frank. She wants to do something to make him feel important in the baby’s life. Oy vey. Here we go. I knew this was coming.

Otalia find Frank and Blake in the park. They have just discovered the eHarmony in being online. Blank? Flake? Semantics. Otalia tells Frank they have decided to name the baby Francesca. It’s such a “good” name. (I know, but that’s really the last time.)

Fast forward one year. Rafe is back from the army. DADT? Natalia introduces him to his baby sister, Frankie. Next is a musical montage of families — of all kinds. It’s a nice package — and it’s wrapped.

For all things Otalia, visit www.mindschmootz.net.

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