“Guiding Light” 9/11 mini-cap: Baby, baby

Earlier this week, I thought, “My god, have you ever seen such a love match between two beautiful women? I have never seen so much passion.” What? Oh, this isn’t Otalia — I was watching tennis. “Guiding Light is on tomorrow.”

Natalia walks into Olivia’s office with a book of baby names. She wants Olivia’s help naming their baby girl. (Personal prayer answered.) Olivia says she will help her, but she wants to move slowly. Slowly? The only thing Olivia Spencer does slowly is eat a muffin.

Natalia is reciting baby names and stops on “Ivy.” Wonder how that creeped in? Nat takes Liv’s hand and places it on her belly; the baby kicked. Olivia tells Natalia she loves her, but she has to catch up to her on the baby thing.

Olivia runs into Josh. He asks her if she and Natalia are getting back together. She says, “I don’t know.” IDK-itis is more contagious on this show than swine flu. Get the shot and get on with your lives. Josh hears the scream reverberating in my head and tells Olivia to just do it. You love her, she loves you.

Natalia and Frank are discussing baby names. Frank suggests Odessa. Natalia says, “Next.” Olivia shows up. She is happy she didn’t miss much. She couldn’t let them name their baby without her. Now Frank has morning sickness.

The names keep coming and going. Saved by the bell. Frank gets a call and leaves Otalia alone. Finally. Natalia gloats a little that Olivia realizes this was the right thing to do. Olivia says she still needs a little time and space. Exasperated, Natalia slams the baby book on the table and says, “Oh my god, screw time and space!” It’s about time! I thought we would never get an emotional screw out of Natalia and Olivia seems to like it a little rough.

Natalia tells Olivia to move back into the farmhouse today. Olivia says no; Natalia says yes, no, yes, no. I feel as if I’m back at the tennis match, but on this set there’s a lot less scoring. Olivia concedes Natalia’s victory and agrees to move back.

Doris has been looking for Olivia and finds her at Company. She explains that she told Ashlee the truth about herself and she hasn’t see her since. Olivia tells Doris to relax; Ashlee will track her down. She is a Wolfe after all.

Rafe and Ashlee are having lunch at the gazebo. Rafe tells Ashlee he is off to basic training in a week and she will have to find another carpool toPFLAG meetings. Daisy appears and asks what’s up. Ashlee tells her about Doris’ confession and she hasn’t spoken to her since. Daisy asks if Ashlee cares if Doris is gay. Ashlee says no, it’s the fact Doris kept it from her that angers her. Daisy says Doris is probably upset and Ashlee should go talk to her. Ashlee leaves this rushed and bizarre after-school special to find her mom.

Olivia tells Natalia she just made the world’s fastest moving van reservation. They can move in this afternoon. Blake thinks that is great news. WithOtalia back on the farm, it clears the way for her to fill in the “Blank”.

Nat and Liv are at the Beacon with Emma. They have good news. They are moving back to the farmhouse to live with Natalia. Emma asks for her old room back and the bus schedule into Springfield.

Olivia explains that when they move back, she and Natalia will be together because they love each other. (They left out the part about sleeping in the same bed, but I’m sure they’ll explain that over a good cookie-bake later.)

Olivia, Nat, and Emma are packing. There’s a knock on the door. It’s Blake, Frank, and Stepford Rafe. The guys came to help move boxes, and Blake came to scam free Olivia clothes. I hope she gave her that outfit she wore to the barbecue.

Olivia instructs which boxes to take down to the truck. Liv thanks Rafe and he says, “You’re welcome. Huh? What? OK, where did this speed of light transformation come from? It’s either the fact they had to get this thing in the cancellation can, or Rafe was forced to listen to the Obama “stay in school” speech.

Olivia tells Nat this is the last chance to change her mind. Natalia responds with never — she has always known her mind. Olivia teases her and Nat admits it’s true, she and her mind have been recently introduced.

At the farmhouse, Olivia is directing the moving team where each box is to go. Emma’s room, living room, bathroom, Natalia’s room. I knew it. Where is that perfect use of pronoun? “Our”; our room. It’s just as well, I don’t think my cynical psyche could handle seeing the Lucy and Desi beds.

Doris and Ashlee show up to help. She thinks this truth business is the best thing that ever happened to them. Unfortunately, personal honesty will force Doris to turn in her “traditional family values” politician card.

The moving in complete, Natalia offers to cook everyone dinner. Daisy wants to know what will they all do in the meantime. This is Guiding Light and putting on a musical would be too expensive. However, this is a lesbian storyline, so what better way to pass the time than softball! What? No golf with Dinah Shore? Who is surprised that Doris was All State and captain of her high school team?

Lifetime moment. Natalia walks over to Olivia. Olivia compliments Nat that she did it, she made them a family. They smile at each other and then Rafe calls Olivia over to hit for the other team.

Natalia walks into the kitchen to unpack the toaster oven.

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