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“Grey’s Anatomy” SnapCap (8.15): “Have You Seen Me Lately?”

Hi everyone! Sorry for the delayed recap, I was out of the country performing on a gay cruise. (Yep, that’s how gay I am.)

To adequately apologize please accept my gesture of posting a sexy photo of Sara Ramirez aka Dr. Callie Torres.

If you tuned into last Thursday’s two hour Grey’s Anatomy/Private Practice crossover spectacular then you know that Cristina and Owen’s marriage is holding on by a thread, Derek’s sister Dr. Amelia Shepherd is fresh out of rehab and is ready to operate at Seattle Grace and Callie’s study method most likely qualifies her for Mensa membership. (Sharon Stone‘s in Mensa so how hard could it be?)

AFTERELLEN BAIT

If you enjoy watching Cristina and Owen fight in the hopes that one day Cristina will end up with Teddy, Meredith or anyone other than Owen; or if you get a tickle from Callie referring to herself in the third person and discussing oral with Meredith (that is, Meredith’s upcoming oral exam), then this episode was written for you!

FEELINGS, FEELINGS, FEELINGS!

Throughout the entire episode Cristina and Owen are in couple’s counseling fighting, crying and debating about Cristina’s abortion. Cristina explains she just doesn’t want to have kids. Owen responds,  “Nobody doesn’t want kids!”

Obviously, Owen hasn’t met me, my wife or most of our friends.

Owen: You’re going to change your mind. You’re going to change your mind about having a baby, and you’re going to regret it.

In their session Owen brings up a point that I have often thought myself, Cristina should have told him she didn’t want to have a baby before they were married. (Dr. Phil would call that a “deal breaker.”)

Then Owen once again takes issue with Cristina and Meredith’s relationship.

Cristina: … She’s my person.

Owen: I should be your person!

Cristina: Be my person Owen. Be my person. Be my freakin’ person.

Owen: Be my person!

This emotional and desperate outburst shines light on the real issue at hand, which is that Owen and Cristina aren’t on the same page about their life together.

Richard has kept his promise to the late Ellis Grey by watching over Meredith. He asks Callie to share her “secret study method” with Meredith. At first, Callie doubts that Meredith is worthy of the Callie Torres super-duper secret study method but Meredith rises to all of Callie’s challenges. The ultimate challenge? Meredith calls all the shots on a patient with his arm caught in a meat grinder, which I’ll elaborate on in the below “Whores & Gores” section.

In the end Callie proposes that she mentor Meredith (starting at 4 a.m.) and maybe they can even become friends. Callie reminds Meredith that they are both married and have kids so why shouldn’t they be BFFs.

(Shhh, don’t tell Cristina.)

WHORES & GORE

As I mentioned above Callie and Meredith have a patient with his arm stuck in a meat grinder. It’s absolutely disgusting which is why the “Whores & Gore” rating is off the above chart. Since Meredith is running the show, she tells Callie that instead of amputating the man’s hand they should dismantle the grinder, gather and reattach all the fingers they can and then remove the man’s second toe and put it in place of his thumb. (That’s totally what I would do too.)

Meat grinder patient screams out, “What are you looking at me for? Take the toe already. Take the left nut if it will help!”

No nut necessary. The surgery works, but it’s not pretty.

MEDICAL MISHAPS

Alex is back to being a selfish jackass. He doesn’t even notice when his intern Morgan passes out in the OR. (Morgan is pregnant and she had a heart attack. But don’t worry, she and her baby are going to be fine thanks to Dr. Arizona Robbins.)

Meanwhile, an emotional Bailey is way too attached to one of her former patients. The patient wants Mark and Avery to perform a risky procedure to reduce the size of her massive arms. When Bailey finds out her former patient is back in the hospital she tries to talk her out of the surgery.

The patient explains, “You saved my life. You know how I feel about you. You’re a hero to me. But I want to be able to brush my hair, hold my grandson.” Bailey gives her blessing to the surgery but stands in the OR monitoring every move.

And monitor she does. An erratic Bailey gets so out of hand that Avery asks her to leave the OR.

Avery says, “You are compromising my ability to care for my patient, Dr. Bailey. I’m telling you, you need to get out. Now!”

Bailey doesn’t budge and turns to Mark for backup. Mark responds, “Doctor Bailey I think he made it very clear. Leave the OR or else I’ll have you removed.”Oh snap! The patient lives, despite Bailey’s meddling.

Last but not least, the storyline that ties the Grey‘s episode into Private Practice is all about a brain tumor. Derek’s sister Amelia pleads with her brother and Lexie to do a complicated brain tumor surgery. (Aren’t all brain tumor surgeries complicated?) The catch is that Derek and Amelia have less than 90 seconds to remove the tumor or else the patient will die. Thanks to Lexie, Derek agrees to hear Amelia’s surgical pitch. He ultimately operates and, as expected, saves the patient’s life.

I’m not sure why this fast-paced surgery needed to thread through two hour-long ABC dramas, but hey I ended up watching PP, which I haven’t done in ages. So I guess their master plan worked. Shonda Rhimes 1, Bridget 0.

What did you think of the GA/PP 120 minutes event? Do you think Cristina and Owen are headed to Divorce Court? Would you want your toe to become your thumb?

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