Callie’s back working at the hospital for the first time since Sofia’s birth. Callie’s patient cancels, so she goes racing to Owen to see if there are any other bones she can break. Suddenly, Callie hears Sofia crying and realizes that Sofia is right behind her, in Mark’s arms. Mark was supposed to be home watching Sofia but the few hours he was alone with the baby made him greatly miss adult contact. Callie takes Sofia in her arms and then immediately regrets it and begs Mark to take her back because, as Callie puts it, “Oh my God, oh my God! This baby is crack. She’s a crack baby.” Mark tells her, “You shouldn’t call her that.” For once, I agree with Mark.
Owen reminds Callie that there are bones to be broken, so Callie tells Mark, “Take her Mark. Physically lift her from my arms!” Callie heads back to work while Mark and Sofia roam around the hospital.
Back in the OR, the new mother is on the mend and the baby is now OK. Alex is concerned that if the mother and baby go back to Africa immediately, they won’t get the proper medical care they need. Arizona comes up with a solution and encourages Alex to go to Africa with them and fill the spot that she gave up in Malawi. Arizona says she can make a phone call to get Alex the job if he wants it and the camera pans from Dr. Hottie to Alex.
Relationships always get in the way of work. That’s why none of us should have to work at all. I propose that all food and housing be free and provided by the government. But now that I think about it, the USA will probably turn into a Lord of the Flies scenario and, if that’s the case, I’m playing Piggy. I even have two asthma inhalers! Wait, where am I going with this?
The Chief wants to continue working with Avery on the diabetes trial, but Avery turns it down and says he needs to focus on surgery. I wonder why Avery really turned it down.
Alex walks out of his Chief Resident pitch meeting with Owen as Meredith waits her turn. Why can’t they just all be named Chief Residents? This competitive storyline is annoying me. Instead I’d like the show to focus on more important matters, like more sex in the on-call rooms!
Alex reassures Meredith that he didn’t tell anyone about Meredith’s little medical secret. But we all know it’s going to come out eventually.
Cristina doesn’t follow hospital protocol and checks out a patient without Teddy’s knowledge. Cristina gets excited when she realizes the patient has something special growing inside of him, so she decides to hide the surgery from Teddy and keeps it for herself. Cristina notifies the patient that he doesn’t have a tumor or cancer like April previously warned them about, instead the patient has a tree growing inside his lung. The man apparently swallowed a seed while trimming his trees and the seed has rooted and started to grow inside of him.
Can that really happen? My mom told me that when kids eat their own boogers, worms start to grow in their bellies. Hopefully that isn’t true either.
April walks in while Cristina is delivering the news to the patient and the patient’s son snaps at April and calls her a “bad doctor” for saying his father had cancer when he didn’t. April tries to defend herself and asks Cristina to join her in the hallway, where she confronts Cristina about falsifying the medical records and stating she went through the proper medical protocol when she didn’t. Cristina coerces April into keeping quiet about the surgery and offers to include her in the exciting operation. April turns down the offer, but Cristina insists she’ll put in a good word about April to Owen.
Andrew shows up to take Teddy out to lunch and, of course, Henry happens to be standing right there. This hospital must be smaller than it looks. Teddy introduces Henry as her “friend” instead of her “fake spouse.” The Chief pipes up and tells Henry that he’s been accepted into the diabetes clinical trial. Teddy congratulates Henry and heads out on her lunch date. Henry turns to the Chief in shock and the Chief says that if Henry is going to compete against Andrew (who is a professional knight in shinning armor) for Teddy’s affection, then Henry could use all the help he can get. So he’s on the trial to help him get a girl? That can’t be part of the hospital’s protocol too.
Dr. Hottie overhears Alex on the phone with the hospital in Malawi, and when he hangs up he asks Hottie for her advice. Hottie seems hurt that he’s not considering their relationship and her feelings, so she throws down her paperwork and storms off. I think Hottie’s Aunt Flo is visiting.
Meredith asks Cristina to help her prep for her meeting with the social worker. Cristina tells Meredith to spin the truth, so even Meredith’s mishaps seem noble. Cristina hops in the elevator with Alex, who declares, “Chicks suck!” Alex tells Cristina about his lady problems and Cristina explains that it’s obvious that Lucy has feeling for him. Duh!
Cristina tells him, “You’re dead inside. You have no feelings. By the way, you should take that job in Africa. It would be totally amazing.”
Cristina meets back up with April and tells her that she now understands April because she and Owen haven’t had sex in three days and she feels like she has superpowers. Cristina says, “No wonder you’re so organized. You have virgin superpowers!”
April is excited that Cristina is being nice to her, but then Cristina walks into her patient’s room and sees Teddy and the Chief. Cristina glares at April, who obviously tattled on Cristina. The Chief insists that Teddy is the best surgeon to perform the operation, but the patient fights for Cristina since she’s the one who caught the growing tree inside of him. To appease the patient, the Chief tells Teddy to observe Cristina while she operates and then April can assist Cristina in the OR.
A worried Meredith and Derek peek in on Zola’s surgery. Meredith questions if they are going to be good parents and wonders if maybe they rushed into this decision. Personally, I do think they rushed in, don’t you?
Lexie accidentally walks in on a private moment in which Mark is holding Sofia. Mark says he’ll leave and Lexie insists that he stay and she’ll head out. Mark gives Lexie a loving look and Lexie says she’s happy for him. Mark says he is happy because he has almost everything he wants. Lexie, you are his missing piece … for this week, at least.
As Cristina operates and removes the tree inside her patient, she looks up at a glaring Teddy, who is seated in the observation room. April and Cristina bicker over whether the tree should go to the lab or if Cristina can keep it as a souvenir. Gross. Cristina just cuts through the subtext and tells April flat out that April will never be Chief Resident. Wow, that was harsh even for Cristina.
Arizona asks Alex if he’s decided to go to Africa. Alex still hasn’t made up this mind yet and because this show is a soap opera, Arizona asks, “Are you in love with Lucy Fields?” Alex smirks and says their relationship is new. (Dude you’re dating one of Charlie’s Angels, either you become in love with her or I’ll love her for you.) Arizona warns Alex that he can’t commit to going to Africa and then come racing back home to a woman like she did.