Welcome to Grey’s Anatomy episode 7. 21, “I Will Survive.” I love that song!
The show opens up with Cristina closing up shop to Owen. That is, she’s pushing him off of her because she’s denying him sex until he chooses Chief Resident. Cristina wants him to be impartial in the selection process. Cristina says, “Sex with me, however hot and excellent, could cloud your judgment.” Now, that’s a great piece of dialogue.
At the McShepherd household, Meredith heads into the kitchen for breakfast and Alex walks out. Meredith is worried that Alex will narc on her about switching Adele’s Alzheimer medicine but Alex reassures her that he’s dealing with his own issues. Why do women (myself included) always think everything is about them?
Lexie and Avery are brushing their teeth in sync while Lexie gives Avery a pep talk about having confidence that he will win the Chief Resident position because of the groundbreaking diabetes trial he’s doing with the Chief.
Alex heads into his bedroom and the lovely Dr Lucy is sitting on his bed. (I can’t believe Dr. Hottie is wasted on Alex!) Dr. Hottie shares the great news that she’s been offered a better job in Texas.
She’s not sure if she wants to go, but since she’s wearing a longhorn skull t-shirt (and the actress is gearing up for ABC’s new Charlie’s Angels series), I have a feeling she’ll be taking the job and heading out of Seattle. Because Dr. Hottie is a woman, she plays games and hints that she’s disappointed that Alex didn’t beg her to stay in Seattle with him. Instead, Alex is supportive and encourages her to taking the job to better her career. Why the games? Don’t straight women want encouraging supportive boyfriends?
Meredith shows up to Seattle Grace hospital late and greets her hubby and her hopefully soon-to-be daughter, Zola. That baby really is cute! Meredith and Derek have to sit down with a social worker in order to be considered for the honor of becoming Zola’s adoptive parents.
Meredith is nervous about meeting with the social worker because she’s scared that she doesn’t know how to be a mother. Meredith says she doesn’t know how to make lunches or sew Halloween costumes, to which Derek replies, “You can sew.” Meredith tells him, “I sew skin.” Don’t worry, Meredith, I heard Buffalo Bill is teaching a pattern making class at Jo-Ann Fabrics.
Derek hands off Zola to Meredith and the baby immediately starts to cry. Maybe my Buffalo Bill reference scared her.
Arizona, or as I like to call her, Arizona Torres, comes in to tell the soon to be adoptive parents that Zola’s weight’s up and she’s ready for her operation. The surgery should be easy and Arizona gives Zola a pacifier to stop her from crying. Meredith looks at the pacifier in wonder. Derek encourages Meredith that they will figure out how to be good parents. Or else Zola will be in therapy for the rest of her life (or worse, a cast member on Oxygen’s The Bad Girls Club).
Bailey pushes a young patient out of the hospital in a wheelchair and Alex pops up and gives the little girl a hug and a teddy bear. You have to admit sometimes Alex is tolerable. As Bailey and Alex remind their patient of her medical care regimen, the patient’s older sister topples over in pain.
Cut to Teddy and Henry running in the park together. Teddy points out fellow female park-goers and encourages Henry to ask them out. Now maybe I’m old fashioned, but I would have a problem picking out women for my wife to date. Teddy tells Henry that Andrew is moving to Germany and she’s thinking about going with him. Henry fears he will lose his wife, whom he has a crush on, and his medical insurance. When does Obama’s health care reform package go into effect?
Alex and Bailey check out their new patient and discover that she’s pregnant. The 17-year old didn’t tell anyone because she was worried she couldn’t fly to Seattle with her sister if the hospital knew about her condition. Arizona and Dr. Hottie show up and figure out that there is not enough fluid around the extremely tiny baby so the patient’s abdomen is bleeding.
All the residents are meeting with Owen to pitch themselves for the job of Chief Resident. April is up first. She goes over a special chart she created to make sure the patient’s care is more efficient. Unfortunately, April’s patient and family overhear her discussing “ruling out cancer” and they freak out. April says everything is fine she was just discussing the medical possibilities. Oh, no! Someone tell those actors to run. The longer they stay at Seattle Grace Hospital, the more aliments they will be assigned to order to increase the drama level of the episode. Run, actors, run!
Cristina interrupts April to tell Owen that she’s finished with her all of her duties and is awaiting further instructions. Cristina’s goodie two-shoe-ness chaps April’s perky ass.
As Alex, Bailey, Arizona and Dr. Hottie operate on the pregnant teenager, they realize that the baby is tangled up in the woman’s intestines. It’s like a really knotted up gold necklace, except it’s a human being and the problem could be fatal. The tiny baby is delivered, and Alex works on the newborn as the doctors realize the blood in the mother’s abdomen is from the placenta. Yuck! (“Yuck” is a medical term.)
Henry reveals to the Chief that he has a crush on Teddy (which I find to be inappropriate) and asks to be a part of the Chief’s diabetes trial so he can go back to work and therefore get his own insurance so he won’t have to rely on Teddy anymore.
Callie’s back working at the hospital for the first time since Sofia’s birth. Callie’s patient cancels, so she goes racing to Owen to see if there are any other bones she can break. Suddenly, Callie hears Sofia crying and realizes that Sofia is right behind her, in Mark’s arms. Mark was supposed to be home watching Sofia but the few hours he was alone with the baby made him greatly miss adult contact. Callie takes Sofia in her arms and then immediately regrets it and begs Mark to take her back because, as Callie puts it, “Oh my God, oh my God! This baby is crack. She’s a crack baby.” Mark tells her, “You shouldn’t call her that.” For once, I agree with Mark.
Owen reminds Callie that there are bones to be broken, so Callie tells Mark, “Take her Mark. Physically lift her from my arms!” Callie heads back to work while Mark and Sofia roam around the hospital.
Back in the OR, the new mother is on the mend and the baby is now OK. Alex is concerned that if the mother and baby go back to Africa immediately, they won’t get the proper medical care they need. Arizona comes up with a solution and encourages Alex to go to Africa with them and fill the spot that she gave up in Malawi. Arizona says she can make a phone call to get Alex the job if he wants it and the camera pans from Dr. Hottie to Alex.
Relationships always get in the way of work. That’s why none of us should have to work at all. I propose that all food and housing be free and provided by the government. But now that I think about it, the USA will probably turn into a Lord of the Flies scenario and, if that’s the case, I’m playing Piggy. I even have two asthma inhalers! Wait, where am I going with this?
The Chief wants to continue working with Avery on the diabetes trial, but Avery turns it down and says he needs to focus on surgery. I wonder why Avery really turned it down.
Alex walks out of his Chief Resident pitch meeting with Owen as Meredith waits her turn. Why can’t they just all be named Chief Residents? This competitive storyline is annoying me. Instead I’d like the show to focus on more important matters, like more sex in the on-call rooms!
Alex reassures Meredith that he didn’t tell anyone about Meredith’s little medical secret. But we all know it’s going to come out eventually.
Cristina doesn’t follow hospital protocol and checks out a patient without Teddy’s knowledge. Cristina gets excited when she realizes the patient has something special growing inside of him, so she decides to hide the surgery from Teddy and keeps it for herself. Cristina notifies the patient that he doesn’t have a tumor or cancer like April previously warned them about, instead the patient has a tree growing inside his lung. The man apparently swallowed a seed while trimming his trees and the seed has rooted and started to grow inside of him.
Can that really happen? My mom told me that when kids eat their own boogers, worms start to grow in their bellies. Hopefully that isn’t true either.
April walks in while Cristina is delivering the news to the patient and the patient’s son snaps at April and calls her a “bad doctor” for saying his father had cancer when he didn’t. April tries to defend herself and asks Cristina to join her in the hallway, where she confronts Cristina about falsifying the medical records and stating she went through the proper medical protocol when she didn’t. Cristina coerces April into keeping quiet about the surgery and offers to include her in the exciting operation. April turns down the offer, but Cristina insists she’ll put in a good word about April to Owen.
Andrew shows up to take Teddy out to lunch and, of course, Henry happens to be standing right there. This hospital must be smaller than it looks. Teddy introduces Henry as her “friend” instead of her “fake spouse.” The Chief pipes up and tells Henry that he’s been accepted into the diabetes clinical trial. Teddy congratulates Henry and heads out on her lunch date. Henry turns to the Chief in shock and the Chief says that if Henry is going to compete against Andrew (who is a professional knight in shinning armor) for Teddy’s affection, then Henry could use all the help he can get. So he’s on the trial to help him get a girl? That can’t be part of the hospital’s protocol too.
Dr. Hottie overhears Alex on the phone with the hospital in Malawi, and when he hangs up he asks Hottie for her advice. Hottie seems hurt that he’s not considering their relationship and her feelings, so she throws down her paperwork and storms off. I think Hottie’s Aunt Flo is visiting.
Meredith asks Cristina to help her prep for her meeting with the social worker. Cristina tells Meredith to spin the truth, so even Meredith’s mishaps seem noble. Cristina hops in the elevator with Alex, who declares, “Chicks suck!” Alex tells Cristina about his lady problems and Cristina explains that it’s obvious that Lucy has feeling for him. Duh!
Cristina tells him, “You’re dead inside. You have no feelings. By the way, you should take that job in Africa. It would be totally amazing.”
Cristina meets back up with April and tells her that she now understands April because she and Owen haven’t had sex in three days and she feels like she has superpowers. Cristina says, “No wonder you’re so organized. You have virgin superpowers!”
April is excited that Cristina is being nice to her, but then Cristina walks into her patient’s room and sees Teddy and the Chief. Cristina glares at April, who obviously tattled on Cristina. The Chief insists that Teddy is the best surgeon to perform the operation, but the patient fights for Cristina since she’s the one who caught the growing tree inside of him. To appease the patient, the Chief tells Teddy to observe Cristina while she operates and then April can assist Cristina in the OR.
A worried Meredith and Derek peek in on Zola’s surgery. Meredith questions if they are going to be good parents and wonders if maybe they rushed into this decision. Personally, I do think they rushed in, don’t you?
Lexie accidentally walks in on a private moment in which Mark is holding Sofia. Mark says he’ll leave and Lexie insists that he stay and she’ll head out. Mark gives Lexie a loving look and Lexie says she’s happy for him. Mark says he is happy because he has almost everything he wants. Lexie, you are his missing piece … for this week, at least.
As Cristina operates and removes the tree inside her patient, she looks up at a glaring Teddy, who is seated in the observation room. April and Cristina bicker over whether the tree should go to the lab or if Cristina can keep it as a souvenir. Gross. Cristina just cuts through the subtext and tells April flat out that April will never be Chief Resident. Wow, that was harsh even for Cristina.
Arizona asks Alex if he’s decided to go to Africa. Alex still hasn’t made up this mind yet and because this show is a soap opera, Arizona asks, “Are you in love with Lucy Fields?” Alex smirks and says their relationship is new. (Dude you’re dating one of Charlie’s Angels, either you become in love with her or I’ll love her for you.) Arizona warns Alex that he can’t commit to going to Africa and then come racing back home to a woman like she did.
Mark and Derek talk baby talk, and Mark insists that Sofia and Zola will be great friends. Maybe they will grow up and get married. (Come on, gay marriage has to be legal in 30 years!) Mark reassures Derek that the adoption agency will chose them and not to worry. Seriously, if Mark Sloane can be a parent then anyone can.
Meredith sits down with the social worker and is immediately awkward. Meredith doesn’t know how to answer questions about her own mother and when the social worker asks Meredith to talk about Zola, Meredith goes into a medical spiel about Zola’s condition. Meredith backtracks, realizing she might not be saying the “right thing” and says Zola is very cute and sweet. Meredith gets flustered and says she doesn’t know anything about being a mom but she’s a fast learner and she’ll do whatever it takes to make it work. The social worker smiles at Meredith.
Cristina is in trouble and has to defend herself to Owen. Cristina has once again gone over Teddy’s head and Cristina explains that she took the initiative like a Chief Resident would. Owen quickly bursts Cristina’s bubble, “You’re not going to be the Chief Resident. I’m sorry.” Owen continues, “You are not built for this job.” (Dude, you’re never going to get sex now.) Cristina thanks Owen for his time and walks out.
Alex walks up to Hottie and tells her he’s not going to Africa and that she was right and he should have considered her feelings. Hottie stops Alex in the middle of his love rant and reveals that she took the job. Alex assumes she took the job in Texas, but she really took the job in Africa. Alex says, “My job? You took my job?” Hottie tells him, “You said it’s not personal. Sometimes you have to be a shark.” Holy crap, I didn’t see that coming, did you?
The night is over and Alex and Cristina are at the bar drinking. Alex orders a double whiskey and tells Cristina that Hottie is a bitch. April shows up and orders a scotch and tells Cristina that if they don’t follow the proper steps patients might die. Cristina just stares back at her.
Back at the hospital, Owen figures out that Avery dropped out of the Chief’s trial because of his famous medical family’s name. The Harper Avery Award is very prestigious and named after Avery’s grandfather. Avery fears that he won’t be fairly judged because of his heritage. Owen warns Avery, “Don’t let your name hold you back.”
Henry shows up (this guy spends a lot of time at the hospital) and tells Teddy that he got his job back and will therefore be able to get his own insurance. Teddy is excited to hear this because she’s decided to move to Germany with Andrew. Henry asks Teddy for a divorce. Teddy says, “Sure.”
Mark waits for Arizona and Callie to get off work and pass off Sofia. Lexie is standing at the second floor watching over them and Avery catches her staring at Mark. Avery tells Lexie that he’s out of the trial but he has Lexie, so what else does he need. A girlfriend who is not in love with someone else?
Meredith picks up Zola and tries being mommy-like while a drunk Cristina tells Alex that she thinks Meredith will be Chief Resident.
Then Owen shows up to apologize to Cristina, but an intoxicated Cristina has already forgiven him, gives him a big kiss, tells Owen that she’s going to take his advice and be an excellent surgeon (and excellent in the sack tonight).
As Owen and Cristina head out to get their freak on, Alex downs another shot and tells Owen, “Meredith messed with the Alzheimer’s trial.” Uh oh!
