Quiet everyone, the wedding rehearsal has begun! Arizona walks down the aisle with her father, then Callie and her father walk down the aisle.
Callie pretends baby Sofia is her bouquet of flowers and tries to pass her off to her mother. Callie’s mother looks at Sofia like she’s a leper and races off to the powder room to escape from holding her granddaughter. Callie’s dad saves the day again and lovingly takes Sofia from Callie’s arms.
Back at Seattle Grace, Teddy asks Owen to give her 20 reasons why she shouldn’t put Cristina back on her surgical team. (Don’t do it Owen! If you start complaining about your wife, her ears will ring and then she’ll hunt you down and kill you. That’s a scientific fact!) Owen tells Teddy that she should put Cristina back on her team but Teddy explains that she wants Cristina to learn a lesson. Teddy is willing to play the bad guy until Cristina learns that lesson. If Teddy is playing the bad guy, can I play the bad guy’s girlfriend? Unless that role requires me to wear a bikini because that ain’t happening. Unless it’s for a Dance Magic reunion.
Alex confronts Meredith about her suspicious behavior around the Alzheimer’s clinical trial. Meredith says she didn’t do anything wrong and that Alex should shut up and leave her alone. Alex scolds Meredith and insists that whatever she did was illegal. Meredith should listen to Alex because he is the king of doing unethical things like dating an amnesia patient (Rebecca Pope), asking a patient for money so he can advance his medical career (Doris Roberts) and giving half of the staff syphilis back in Season One.
Stark has been picking on April all day so she confronts him for not treating her like every other resident. Does she not realize that Stark is a jerk that treats everyone like crap? Therefore he is treating her like every other resident. April looks around for a time machine to take her back to that night when she turned down Stark. Come on Shonda, April and Stark are eventually going to date anyway, right? Why delay the inevitable? Stark and April’s pagers interrupt their professional lover’s spat and they go racing off to their patient who is vomiting blood. Now I’m not doctor, but that can’t be healthy.
Arizona and Callie sit on the end of their bed and talk about how they can’t wait until their parents leave town so they can have their life return to normal. Arizona reminds Callie that the most important thing is that they are getting married tomorrow. Callie kisses Arizona’s hand and they giggle.
Which answers the urban legend or folklore: Do lesbians indeed giggle? Shonda Rhimes thinks we do. I bet Cristina and Owen didn’t giggle the night before they got married. But, wait, I do remember Cristina and Burke giggling when they got engaged. Remember? Cristina accepted Burke’s marriage proposal but she refused to wear the engagement ring and Burke picked her up and swung her around in their apartment like the Six Flags Swing Carousel. And since lesbians do giggle, doesn’t that mean that Cristina Yang is a lesbian? Am I stretching here?
Teddy and Arizona chitchat on a quick coffee break about the big day. Arizona says she’s not nervous because her Colonel has scheduled every moment of the day out so all she has to do is show up. How romantic. I bet a lot of straight guys just “show up” for their weddings, too. Teddy checks her phone and giggles at the message.
I see a giggling pattern here. What does this all mean? Is Teddy a lesbian too? Or do the Grey’s writers giggle themselves and are therefore projecting? So many unimportant questions, so little time.
Anyway, Teddy giggled at her message and Arizona asks if the message is from Teddy’s fake husband or her secret boyfriend. Teddy clarifies that her giggling is due to the messages the grief counsel Andrew (who is not her boyfriend) is sending her. Andrew is just her wedding date and will be leaving town soon so she’s just enjoying his company and genitals.
A giddy Callie surprises her mother by showing off a replica wedding veil she had made to look just her mother’s wedding veil. Callie’s mother looks at the veil and is uninterested. Callie is frustrated because she has bent over backwards to make her mother happy and has even agreed to have a church wedding specifically to make her mother happy. Callie’s mother snaps back, “Don’t you dare imply that there is anything about a wedding to a woman or a baby out of wedlock that’s for me.”
Callie: Wow, OK. So what bothers you more my bastard child or my lesbian fiancé? You’re a lawyer, Mom. You’re out in the world, you know other gay people, your secretary is gay. [Callie begins to tear up.] I’m your daughter!
Callie’s mom: Do you know how devastating it is, to raise a child, to love a child and know you won’t see that child in heaven?
Callie: Mom —
Callie’s mom: You are not a bride and I am not the mother of a bride. This isn’t your wedding. It isn’t right, I’m sorry. I can’t be here, I just can’t.
Callie’s mom walks off leaving Callie looking devastated and really cute in that veil.