Welcome to this episode of Grey’s Anatomy entitled “P.Y.T. (Pretty Young Thing),” one of Michael Jackson’s greatest songs ever!
Meredith sits down with a slew of the Alzheimer’s clinical trail patients and makes them recite three words, “Truck. Cabin. Spoon.” Then she waits a little while and makes them recite the three words again to ensure they still have the words in their minds. Some struggle but they all pass. Congrats, you’re all cured! (That was easy.)
The Chief pages Meredith and tells her that he wants her to participate in a new clinical trial to cure Type 1 diabetes. The idea comes from Meredith’s deceased mother, who left numerous journals on her own research. The Chief believes that with her notes and the new medications on the market, they can find the cure for this disease.
The Chief hands Meredith a red folder and tells her that she should participate in the trial because it’s her mother’s legacy. Meredith reminds the Chief that she’s already on Derek’s Alzheimer’s trial, but the Chief asks Meredith to take some time and think over which trial she really wants to work on.
It’s morning in the Calzona home. Why aren’t these women wearing nighties around the house? It would definitely bring up Grey’s viewership.
Arizona has made Callie a breakfast smoothie composed of kale and apple juice (paging Briana Stockton!). Callie says “no thanks” to healthiness and insists on having coffee. Then Mark shows up. When did this show turn into Three’s Company?
Wait, can I play Don Knotts?
Mark agrees with Arizona that Callie should lay off coffee until after the baby is born. Mark and Arizona decide to start voting on what Callie should eat for the baby’s sake. Mark and Arizona’s two votes against coffee trump Callie’s lone vote for coffee so Callie grudgingly chugs her green shake.
Bailey tracks down Lexie and Meredith in the locker room to get their advice about how to deal with their father, who just checked into the hospital. Lexie and Meredith weren’t aware that their father (Thatcher) was there in the first place. Lexie races off to see him while Meredith contemplates which trial to take on. Cristina is of course jealous and looks sexy in her scrubs … who wrote that?
Dr. Lucy Blonde Hottie Fields gets sexually harassed by Alex who assumes she’s “just” a nurse. Alex refers to a dead newborn patient as a “turnip,” which is harsh even for Mr. Insensitive Alex. He wants to harvest the dead baby’s organs so they can go to his patient who needs a new heart. Dr. Hottie bites back by formally introducing herself, using her medical title (acquired at an expensive college), and bans Alex from her unit.
Owen, Callie and April are working on a young man who, trying to be like Jackass‘s Johnny Knoxville, built a human slingshot and accidentally shot himself into a concrete wall. Come on, who hasn’t done that?
While the doctors work on their patient, his buddy outside the exam room is videotaping the entire thing so they can post it on YouTube. Excuse me, Mr. Video Man. You’ll need all of the doctors to sign an appearance release form and the Chief to sign a location release form allowing you to shoot in the hospital, and I have a feeling none of that is going to happen.
Lexie finds Thatcher and lectures him about not telling her he was coming to the hospital. Thatcher fears his body is rejecting his new liver. As Lexie is about to draw Thatcher’s blood, a young blonde, Dani, bounces in and kisses Thatcher on the lips. (I just threw up a little bit in my mouth.) Lexie is thrown by this because the young tattooed blonde is Lexie’s age. Bailey comes in to break up the tension, but as soon as Dani describes some past pain Thatcher experienced during their lovemaking (I hate that term) Lexie high tails it out of there.
Mark has requested that Avery be on his service for the day. Mark tells Avery to “sparkle” and use his God-given looks to help sell the plastic surgery department. Mark says it helps to be attractive when your job is making others more attractive. That makes sense. Who wants to go to a hairdresser that has bad hair?
Callie is working with April, who is driving her crazy. (Join the club!) Callie tells April that she needs to speak differently since her voice is so annoying. April responds, “Like with an accent?”
Callie shoos April away and tells her to bring her a coffee and muffin from the cafeteria. (I should be careful when I type the word “cafeteria” because Teddy might be reading this, and then she’ll be hunting for men and throwing herself on the cafeteria salad bar again.) Callie has second thoughts and nixes her coffee order since her coffee consumption was voted down earlier by Arizona and Mark.
Alex walks by one of the rooms and sees Dr. Hottie, Teddy, Arizona and Cristina speaking to his pregnant patient and her husband. Alex sneaks in the room and overhears them telling the soon-to-be parents that they should have a C-section today because they have a heart donor for their baby. The parents are hesitant and Alex pipes up and says that they need to decide immediately or else the organ will go to another patient. (Alex needs to back up! Where is security when you need them?)
Arizona tells the couple to think it over and asks all the doctors to file out of their room, then Arizona tells Alex he’s off the case. Dr. Hottie looks pleased with herself and takes her top off. Wait, that didn’t happen, but this episode is dragging so my mind started to wander.
Mark bribes Avery with the chance to perform rhinoplasty if he checks in on Lexie for him and finds out what she’s doing and how she’s feeling. Mark should just check Lexie’s Facebook status for that info.
Arizona walks into the break room and catches Callie pouring herself a cup of coffee.
Callie says that the studies she’s read state that caffeine isn’t bad for pregnant humans. Arizona reminds Callie that they took a vote earlier in the morning and the majority voted against caffeine. Arizona shames her into not drinking the coffee and Callie exits without her coffee in hand.
Lexie finds Meredith and tells her that their father is dating a 20-year old tattooed bimbo. (Who hasn’t dated one of those?) Meredith does’t care, but Cristina insists they go see him and watch him get it on with his young lover. As Lexie and Meredith watch their father get his freak on, he starts screaming out in pain (and not in a good way.) Lexie and Meredith race in to help and his “lady friend” wont get out of the way. Lexie screams at Dani to get back.
After everything has settled, Thatcher is doing much better and Bailey reports that his liver is fine. Lexie yells at Dani and calls her Thatcher’s mid-life crisis. As a mid-life crisis wife myself, I find that offensive!
Callie and her caffeine withdrawal headache walk in to visit her daredevil patient, who insists on having his operation without anesthesia and videotaped by his friend. Callie barely touches his injured leg and the patient screams for bloody murder and asks his friend to turn the camera off. Dumbass.
Lexie is still livid about her father’s May-December romance, and Meredith tells Lexie to just give their father and his new relationship her blessing. Lexie reminds Meredith, “You hate him. Hate him with me.” Meredith tells Lexie to grow up and walks away.
Teddy and Arizona are operating on their little patient and his blood pressure is too low. They work feverishly and start some sort of the death clock. (They should have death clocks on relationships. And once the timer goes off it’s over.) The baby gets it’s blood pressure back up and Alex and Dr. Hottie (who are looking on upstairs in the gallery) high five themselves at the same time. Jinx! Somebody owes somebody a coke. I prefer Cherry Coke Zero myself. Then they look at each other all awkwardly.
Dear Shonda Rhimes,
Please don’t let Dr. Hottie hook up with Alex. Let Alex keeps his STDs to himself this time.
Love,
Bridget
p.s. And please make Dr. Hottie a lesbian.
The Chief interrupts Meredith (again) and tells her he needs her to sign off on her mother’s research so they can begin the diabetes trial. Meredith doesn’t want to do it, but the Chief says that this research might bring her and her mother closer together. (Someone page Lisa Williams!)
Callie and Owen are working on their daredevil patient and Callie is on top of him trying to get his leg back in place. Callie is screaming about her caffeine withdrawal and reveals to Owen and April that she’s pregnant.
Avery seduces Lexie with chocolate, which distracts her into spilling her guts about how upset she is about her father’s tatted up skanky girlfriend, how hurt she is that Mark is having a baby and how she fears that everyone is making life decisions and leaving her behind.
Meredith is back with her Alzheimer’s patients and making them recite those three words, truck, cabin … the patient can’t remember the last word and looks at her daughter and asks why are they are at the hospital. (You’re there to get your SAG card.)
Bailey coaches Dani about how to deal with Thatcher’s pain and then Lexie comes in the room and holds her father’s hand. Dani says she is good for Thatcher and he’s good for her. Lexie tries to be supportive but then notices a hooker tattoo on Dani’s arm. Come on who doesn’t have a tattoo of a streetwalker on their upper arm?
Owen scolds his daredevil patient about the stupidity of injuring himself in purusit of notoriety on the Internet. When did Owen get so preachy? In this economy, Owen should be happy these dumbasses are injuring themselves and keeping him in business.
Meredith returns the red folder to the Chief and reiterates that she wants to focus on the Alzheimer’s trial. She gives the Chief her blessing to continue her mother’s work without her.
After the successful baby organ swap (that sounds like a show on FOX) Alex and Dr. Hottie ride the elevator down to the lobby and have an awkward exchange. Alex hints that maybe they should go get a drink and Dr. Hottie says “Hells to the NO!” (Actually she just said “no.”) A shirtless Avery invites Lexie out for drinks but she passes too.
Is Avery allergic to shirts? Drinking is boring. Why don’t people asks each other out for brownie sundaes instead?
Back home at the Calzona residence, Mark and Arizona are making dinner for Callie, who walks into the room drinking a cup of coffee.
Mark and Arizona remind her that coffee is a “no no” and Callie unleashes the rant of the episode:
Callie: If we’re going to do this “everybody gets a vote thing” there is going to be a new system. We’ll still each get one vote but also the baby gets a vote. As I house the baby, I’ll be speaking for him/her, and since I’ll be pushing this baby out of a very small hole in my body, I’ll also get an extra special vagina vote. So it’s three votes for us, two votes for you guys … Oh, and we get the final say. Now, I’ll be using my many votes to say that I will have one cup of regular coffee, which is perfectly fine according to the studies that I’ve read, at least until I begin breast feeding. Now does anybody wanna argue with my extra special vagina vote?
Mark: No, thank you.
Arizona: No.
I’m glad Callie’s vagina is registered to vote, because voting makes a difference.
Then Callie plops down on the chair and tells Mark to give her a foot rub. Mark heads to get the lotion, and Arizona is fine with her girlfriend getting a foot rub from Mark? This IS Three’s Company!
Meredith comes home to find Derek sitting on the couch. She tells him that she’s has made her decision and still wants to work on his Alzheimer’s trial. And since none of their 3,000 roommates are home, they decide to “do it” before they arrive.
The End.
Is it just me, or was this episode really boring?
I hate when people criticize and don’t give suggestions to help make things better, so below are some of my ideas for making Grey’s less boring:
1. Fire April. IMMEDIATELY!
2. No more storylines that focus on Alex. He can walk by and hand someone a chart, but that’s it. No more dialogue. I get it. He’s a douche and has been for seven seasons.
3. MORE CRISTINA! Even Cristina just staring is more interesting than anything else going on with the show right now.
4. MORE CALZONA just being CALZONA. No drama needed. Just have them painting each other’s nails and feeding each other bon bons. Wait, maybe Calzona needs a spin-off called Eating Bon Bons with Calzona. Mark can be there too, in the background. But, like Alex, he has no dialogue.
What are your suggestions for improving the show?
