Derek is entertaining a group of brain surgeons, which sounds like a blast, so Meredith comes in to brag about her double transplant. She’s freaking out a bit because she promised Zola that they would have a tea party at three, and there’s no way she’ll be out of surgery by then. Derek suggests they get Callie to sub, but Meredith worries Zola will grow up thinking her mother didn’t love her if she doesn’t make it to that damn tea party.
Jo is observing Alex’s dad on the treadmill and running some tests. She casually tries to get personal details from him, but he’s not very forthcoming. He tells her that he’s just a casual heroin user, but the fresh track marks on his body say otherwise. She tells him there are rehabs he could go to, to try and stay clean. She wears him down a bit with her well-meaning persistence.
Callie isn’t answering her pages, so Meredith sends Ross to find her and bring her news of the princess tea party. (Mer, the last time Ross was given a message to relay didn’t turn out so well. Just saying.) Yang is super over it, and wants to talk about the surgery. She reminisces about how things used to be, and how this was their dream. Performing complex surgeries, side by side. Meredith is trying to hide it, but she needs to pump and dump like nobody’s business, so Cristina tells her to scoot.
Callie has a sit down with Daredevil Girl’s sister. There is a possibility that she may need a kidney transplant. The sister grimaces because she knows what comes next. She’ll be asked to donate. The thing is, she’s been doing that her whole life. Her daredevil sister suffered from aplastic anemia as a child, and has been a wild child for most of her life as a result. She’s already donated bits and pieces of herself to her sister over the years. In fact, she was born for that very reason. To keep her sister alive.
Stephanie calls Jo in to check out Beenis Sting guy. It’s Jo’s professional opinion that his member looks like it was mauled by angry badgers. Honey badgers! He needs a urology consult, but the specialist is held up. That leaves Stephanie only one option. Ask for a consult with the Empress of Penises, Dr. Catherine Avery. Stephanie steels herself for the inevitable barrage of insults, and manages to spit out that she needs Catherine’s help.
Callie is still stuck on the banana bread thing, teasing Owen that Emma is his girlfriend. Owen seems to be having a good ol’ time on his own, so Callie ponders if she should kick Arizona out of the apartment. April is there and immediately comes to Arizona’s defense. The apartment has an elevator and is accessible to the hospital, which is good for Arizona’s leg. Callie gives her the stink eye, and for a second April starts to backtrack. However, the power of their new girl-mance is too strong, and she reiterates her point. Who knew it would take giving April a real friend to make her infinitely more likable?
In the resident’s lounge, everyone is stressing. Meredith is pumping and studying for the surgery. Alex is smacking the coffee maker around. Bailey thinks Meredith is a liver stealer. Jackson’s mom thinks Stephanie is a gold-digging hussy, and he is afraid to set her straight. Ross comes in to tell Meredith that Callie can’t make it to tea-time until after six. Meredith is stressed but Bailey comes to the rescue and reassures her that there will be other tea parties. She even helps Meredith study for the surgery so she can double up on the breast pump.
Arizona is in surgery when Leah walks in and cozies up next to her. She thanks Arizona for inviting her to assist on the surgery, and Arizona is like, “What the actual hell?” Leah whispers that she won’t tell anyone about the other night, and a panicky Arizona blows her off. Leah leaves and for a moment the thought crosses my mind: Is Leah actually a diabolical genius who has concocted this whole thing to mess with Arizona?
Jo is giving Alex her best puppy dog eyes, but he has an immunity built up by this point. She tries to get him to let down his walls a little about his dad, but that’s out of the question for Alex. She tells him that she didn’t have a father, so she used to dream that he was all sorts of different people. She missed out on having that connection, and doesn’t want to see Alex go through the same thing. Alex, just wants the guy out.
Catherine comes down to consult on Beenis Sting guy. One look at it and she asks him point blank if he stuck his dick in a hornet’s nest. Yes. Yes he did. While Stephanie struggles to unsuccessfully insert a catheter, the guy’s bladder bursts. Off to surgery with you, Honey Smacks. Catherine is beyond angry at what she sees as Stephanie’s incompetence, and bitches to Richard about her. Richard defends Stephanie’s skills as a doctor, but Catherine doesn’t want to listen to reason. Leah stops in, but freezes when she sees Catherine and makes a hasty exit. Catherine doesn’t think Richard is getting the right care because everyone is afraid to push him, so she wants to take him home and do it right.
Just as Meredith is finishing up her studying, she gets a call from daycare. Zola bumped her adorable little noggin and needs stitches. Meredith leaps up to be by Zola’s side, and tells Bailey to let Cristina know that she’ll meet her in the OR in time for the surgery.
Jackson, Stephanie and Catherine all participate in the most awkward surgery ever, which is saying a lot for this show. Penis is thrown around a lot. The word. Not the actual…oh forget it. Stephanie tries to act like a regular, inquisitive doctor, but the only thing Catherine hates more than her son’s girlfriends, is bullshit.