Last week’s episode of Grey’s Anatomy was a heartbreaker. All was wrong with the world and everything hurt. In contrast, this week’s episode come out of the gate like a puppy video on YouTube set to an Ingrid Michaelson song and slowly devolves into painland. At the Mer/Der mansion, where they have no guest rooms, everyone is sleeping in the living room. It’s like a slumber party, except there were no pizza rolls and everyone feels like shit.
Back at her empty apartment, Arizona is trying to gussie herself up because she’s got a full proof plan. One that couldn’t possible, totally not work at all. She even got her haircut to look like it did when she first kissed Callie in that filthy, sexy bathroom. It’s one of the saddest things that has ever happened.
Also having a slumber party? The interns who have been inseparable since Heather Brooks’ death when they all realized that they were equally awful and should stick together. Cristina observes the pile of snores and tarries on up to Alex’s room, where she promptly jumps into bed with him and pesters him awake. She’s bored and horny so Alex directs her to the wide variety of internet pornography available. Torturing Alex is so much more enjoyable than silly old porn though, so she starts digging at his relationship with Jo. She can’t help but notice that he’s been going to bed alone while Jo stays downstairs with the other interns, so she assumes one or the other is awful in the sack. Alex gets flustered which picks Cristina’s mood right up.
Having a new baby rocks until you are so exhausted it makes your eyes cross, and suddenly you have twins. Callie, who recently had a steaming cup of anger, is rushing through the house mumbling about Arizona and her poor toddler sock mismanagement. She heads off to the hospital to leave Derek and Meredith to catch some shut eye. She even takes Zola to daycare so they can have a little alone time with baby Bailey. Meredith has been calling Bailey incessantly to check on Richard. Bailey, who insists she has things under control, orders Meredith to stop calling and start cuddling, stat! Things aren’t so great with Richard however, and Meredith has a right to be concerned. He’s rapidly losing weight due to an inability to swallow caused by esophageal dysphagia. Intern Ross, who is on rounds with Bailey, expresses concern. When he suggests an NG tube, both Bailey and Richard shoot him down.
The rest of the interns, who have miraculously discovered their souls, are becoming slightly less awful. It doesn’t hurt that Jo is not wearing pants. It seems as though they have all developed friendship like feelings towards each other. Jo complains about the fact that her meticulous personal grooming regiment has been for naught since she an Alex haven’t had any alone time. The girl is running out of sexy panties and patience. It’s a code blue.
Arizona and Cristina walk the halls together, and Arizona is buzzing with nervous energy. Cristina notices her haircut but doesn’t say much, which sends Arizona down an insecurity spiral. She wants so desperately to look nice today, as if her perky haircut and perfect dress will wash away any of the sadness and regret that has eaten away a hole inside her. Thankfully Owen shows up to distract her with an even bigger hole. The one in the ceiling of one of the hospital’s wings. Neither Arizona nor Cristina want to deal with it, but Owen reminds them that they are board members and need to start doing their jobs. Being a board member isn’t just about the free donuts. It’s about bureaucratic nonsense that nobody likes, but has to be done. Ok, also donuts. After Arizona leaves, Owen and Cristina share an almost moment. She reaches out to touch his hand, but stops herself. She declares they cannot be alone together, so she tosses out some hand gestures that appear to be directions to the nearest emergency exits, then runs off.
April. Oh April. She’s nervous and squirrely today. Surprise! She hasn’t heard back about her Boards and she can’t stomach another rejection. Just then, a woman is wheeled in with a large shard of wood sticking out of her chest. It’s shrapnel from a broken bat at a baseball game and she needs surgery ASAP. Callie joins April and Leah to survey the damage, and send the woman’s husband away. Before they take the woman in for surgery, she grabs Leah and makes her promise that if she dies, the intern will tell her husband that she slept with his brother. Sa-wing batter batter. While Callie does her ortho thing, April tells her about not hearing from the boards. Callie is far from encouraging. Leah tells her what the patient asked her to do, and how she feels conflicted. Callie calls the patient a bitch. Damn. I guess even a Louisville Slugger in the chest isn’t enough to garner a little sympathy from Dr. Torres. Arizona pops her cheerful head into the room to remind Callie about their couple’s therapy session that evening. Callie tells her that she’s not so sure about that and Arizona swallows down an ocean of disappointment in one gulp.