Callie is drunk and pouring her heart out to Derek. Everyone she loves cheats on her or dies…or cheats on her AND dies…or walks off into the parking lot, never to be seen again. Derek listens with equal parts empathy and bewilderment. Callie drinks right from the bottle because, well, fuck it.
Arizona on the other hand is in full on Bette Porter mode. She’s screaming at nurses to break protocol and 911 Callie. Alex tries to calm her to no avail. Cristina brings the gossip to Meredith’s room, and snickers at Arizona’s plight. A mother herself, Meredith doesn’t think it’s right to keep Sophia away from her mother, so she tells Arizona where Callie and the little girl are. Arizona storms off, leaving Meredith to regret her decision to disclose.
The WORST interns sit around; desperately trying to fins anything nice to say about Heather to her mother. They all come up empty.
Jackson is trying to find a priest, rabbi, a wiccan shaman, anyone to marry the policewoman and fireman, since the bacteria in her wound may cause all her organs to fail. The two are in love and don’t want to wait another moment. Jackson also does some major damage control with his mother, scolding and comforting her at the same time. Owen tells Cristina how pleased he is with this new and improved last sexy times memory. Cristina then remembers that there was some sort of secret, special sex act that they forgot to perform. She whispers in his ear and they head off to the on call room again.
The WORST interns sans Ross, turn to Meredith for advice. Since they are miserable, selfish jerks, they need her advice in coming up with something nice to say about Heather. Meredith gives an example of when George passed and she told his mother about when he was trying to be sweet by stealing Jello, then spilling it everywhere. It doesn’t have to be much, Meredith says, just come up with something simple. These are doctors she is talking to. People who will be cutting into other people. They can’t even come up with one decent story between them.
Owen and Cristina’s post-coital bliss is to be a short-lived one. Cristina opens her heart and tells him that even though she was the one to break it off, she’s still broken-hearted inside. He holds her tight because he knows she did the right thing.
Meredith, finally in a wheelchair after requesting one numerous times, sits in Richard’s room with Bailey. Bailey trusted her gut and now doubts herself. Meredith tells her that when you know, you know. She trusts Bailey, so she calls and books an ER to resume the exploratory surgery.
Cristina, Alex and Meredith discuss medical proxies. Cristina and Meredith are each other’s and Alex is in need of one. Cristina suggests Meredith even though she disagrees with her decision regarding Richard. She can do that because she’s super mature, which Meredith calls her out on. Alex decides it should be Cristina.
Jo comes in to check on Alex and the ER. He’s shoving a sandwich in his mouth, so naturally, irresistible. Jo asks to tag along with him, but in reality she’s just trying to avoid coming up with a nice story about Heather. He’s rather surprised that none of them are friends or have bonded in anyway. What happens when he dumps her, he asks. She laughs that off because she’d be the dumper anyway. This sounds like a healthy conversation.
Jackson and April perform the marriage ceremony for the first responders, and of course, April is positively quivering. They couple holds hands and kisses, knowing their love could be fleeting.