“Grey’s Anatomy” minicap: “Something’s Gotta Give”

Teddy receives a text about from Cristina about her housewarming party. Owen didn’t know they were having a housewarming party. Do you think he knows that his wife is gay and that her soul mate is Meredith?

The possessed museum curator Janosz Poha operates on Dahlia’s daughter Lisa, but the new liver is too big for Lisa’s little body. We’re going to need another bottle of Cabernet Sauvignon!

Callie and Cristina walk the mall (high school style) and Callie sports a hat to cover her bad haircut. Callie says she was a lot more fun when she was single. Cristina says she was never single. More proof that Cristina is a lesbian. Lesbians are never single. They just hook up with their best friends and U-Haul it the next day.

At lunch Alex shoots everyone with a ping-pong gun. Meredith walks into the cafeteria with an armed escort who is protecting the “secret patient.” Having all these security guards around makes it difficult to keep the patient a “secret.” Lexie shoots the guard in the back with a ping-pong ball. As Kimmy Gibbler would say, “How rude!”

Teddy and Owen have to fight with the secret patient’s posse and try to convince them that they are damn good surgeons. When someone fights with me I tend to believe them, don’t you?

Meredith and Derek scrub in together and (of course) talk about Cristina. Cristina has been gone for like 12 hours and everyone can’t stop talking about her.

Alex has a great idea to help baby Lisa. All he needs is a bottle of Chianti. Kidding. Alex wants to insert a ping-pong ball into baby Lisa. The possessed museum curator Janosz Poha dismisses Alex’s idea and scolds him.

Callie is getting her haircut and requests a new “badass” look. Cristina is enjoying the mall way too much. She’s eating yogurt and then goes off to devour a pretzel. Thanks a lot Cristina, now I’m hungry!

While operating on the “secret patient” Derek, Owen and Teddy are all talking about Cristina. Seriously, calm down everyone. Cristina hasn’t even been gone that long. Absence really does make the heart grow fonder. 

During the doctor’s chitchat about Cristina, unsurprisingly something goes wrong with their “secret patient’s” surgery.  Maybe if you doctors were focused on your patient rather than gossiping this wouldn’t have happened!

Alex goes to find the possessed museum curator Janosz Poha and a nurse tells Alex that he’s in the OR operating on baby Lisa. Alex races up to the observation room and sees the possessed museum curator Janosz Poha placing the ping-pong ball into baby Lisa. The Chief tells the possessed museum curator Janosz Poha that his idea is brilliant.  April speaks up and says, “Who’s idea was it Dr. Stark originally? Was it yours or Doctor Karev’s?” April is standing up for her man.

Teddy and Derek argue about their “secret patient” and of course it’s just a bunch of subtext about Cristina. Owen tells Derek to back off since Cristina is his wife. Then Derek apologizes. It’s nice when someone actually admits when they are wrong. Ten points to Gryffindor! OK, who else is going to see Harry Potter on opening night?

Bailey goes to check in on Avery, who is reporting the time of death of the Chief’s patient. Avery freaks out and starts yelling that he didn’t do anything wrong. Bailey tries to calm him down then says, “Doctor Avery, step out of my OR.”

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