Archive

“Grey’s Anatomy” minicap: “Something’s Gotta Give”

Welcome to Grey’s Anatomy’s newest episode “Something’s Gotta Give” aka “Bring Arizona back from Africa!”

The show starts off with Cristina sitting on the floor (with her perfect hair) in her dilapidated firehouse filled with moving boxes. Then we see Alex is on the side of the road with his broken down car and bad attitude. Meanwhile at Seattle Grace Hospital (this show is about a hospital, right?) Teddy gives a patient presentation about Mr. Bad Lungs aka the father of Amber Benson. (Yes I noticed Amber on the show last week and I’m sorry to you Buffy fans for not making a bigger deal about her onscreen presence. It will never happen again!)

Teddy announces to the room full of doctors that Cristina has left the medical program. The doctors immediately attack Teddy with questions about Cristina’s sudden departure. (Quick, Teddy, run and hide in the cafeteria! I’m sure there is a man there to protect and make out with you). McSteamy has the most dramatic reaction to Cristina quitting and jumps out of his seat in disbelief. I didn’t know McSteamy felt that strongly about Cristina. Maybe it’s because Cristina is the only woman McSteamy hasn’t tried down to sleep with Seattle Grace. If Cristina leaves then it ruins McSteamy chance for winning Creep of the Decade!

At the presentation, McSteamy turns around and asks Meredith what she knows about Cristina’s decision to leave the program. Meredith says she hasn’t talked to Cristina (her soul mate) and yells at everyone to stop looking at her and pay attention to Teddy’s presentation.

Derek questions Teddy’s decision to put Cristina in charge of Mr. Bad Lungs, which implies that Cristina might have not been ready to handle the case. Derek seems to blame Teddy for pushing Cristina too far too fast, which caused her to quit the program.

McSteamy needs to make it all about him so he dramatically exits the presentation and announces that he’s going to call Callie to find out what she knows about Cristina’s situation.

Seattle Grace is a weird hospital.

Callie lounges around depressed and alone in a hotel room. (Callie, tell me which hotel you’re in and room number and I’ll hop on a Southwest flight and be there in 90 minutes.) Callie’s cell phone rings and she jumps to answer it. The bright light in her eyes tells us that she’s assuming it’s Arizona on the other end but no, it’s just McSteamy. McSteamy tells Callie about Cristina quitting the program and Callie is shocked at the news too.

Back at Seattle Grace, Avery is freaking out because he thinks no one wants to work with him. Avery decides to hunt down Bailey and see if she needs assistance. April says she is working with Alex, but what she meant to say was that she’s been assigned to the new pediatrics attending that is replacing Arizona. No one can replace Arizona! Unless the new attending is also a hot lesbian which adorable dimples.

Avery knows that April likes Alex more than she should, so he tells her to be careful. Alex is the town bicycle, everyone has had a ride, so Lexie says to April, “He’s not the guy for you. Trust me.”

Callie races over to Cristina’s firehouse and finds Cristina jamming out Flashdance style. OK, tough choice: who’s hotter Jennifer Beals or Sandra Oh?

Cristina tells Callie to go away. Then she says, “What are you doing? You don’t have a job to go to. You don’t have a girlfriend telling you to go to Africa. You’re completely free. You can do whatever you want. The world is your oyster. Make lemonade.”

Callie, “I’m trying. I was going to get my hair cut today. Like make a radical change. Then I thought, maybe you shouldn’t do radical things rights after a blonde woman has ripped your heart out of your chest and stomped on it.”

Just then Cristina grabs a pair of scissor and hacks off a chunk of Callie’s hair.

Callie: What are you doing? Are you insane?

Cristina: Let’s make lemonade!

Cristina and Callie both smile at each other. Callie is lucky that she looks good with short hair. I looked terrible with short hair.

Alex is working with April and Dr. Stark aka John Cage from Ally McBeal aka the possessed museum curator Janosz Poha from Ghostbusters aka Peter MacNicol.

The Chief pulls Teddy and Owen aside because there is a “secret patient” in the hospital that no one is allowed to know is even in the country. The patient is a political figure from the Middle East who came to Seattle for a “secret meeting.” I think he’s really in town for the Seattle Quilt, Craft & Sewing Festival.

Dalila Ali Rajah from Cherry Bomb is in Seattle Grace hospital with her baby girl, Lisa. Baby Lisa needs a new liver. If the doctors can’t find a new liver for Lisa, then just give the ladies of Cherry Bomb a bottle of red wine and they will find one themselves.

Avery tracks down Bailey and asks her if he can be on her service. She says “no” and walks away to find the Chief. A Secret Service guard who is protecting the “secret patient” abruptly stops Bailey. Avery tries to figure out who the secret patient is and guesses that it’s U2’s Bono. Bono, really? I would have guessed Hillary Clinton. The Chief comes out and tells Bailey to take care of his other patients while he works on the “secret patient.” Bailey tells Avery that she can now use his help with the Chief’s patients.

Lexie reports to Derek, but Derek says he doesn’t have time for her and shoos her away. Derek closes the office door and we see that Meredith is behind the door and Derek is trying to seduce her with his crystal blue eyes and croaked nose. While the McDreamys are making out, all Meredith can talk about is Cristina. Just another sign that Meredith and Cristina are gay and hot for each other.

There is another knock on the door and Derek opens it and we see a Secret Service guard asking for Meredith. Derek looks at Meredith and asks, “What did you do?” This from the guy who was constantly in jail for speeding!

Back at the pity party, Cristina is cutting Callie’s hair. I’m pretty sure Cristina didn’t go to beauty school, so I hope she’s not going to try and get too creative and give her a Rachel Green do.

Once Callie sees what Cristina has done to her hair she screams, “I look injured!”

Cristina laughs and says she can’t believe that Callie let her cut her hair. I agree.

Cristina and Callie decide to throw a housewarming party in the unfurnished dilapidated firehouse, but first they must go to the mall to get Callie’s hair fixed. The mall? Callie’s going to get her hair cut at Supercuts? No, Callie come see my hairdresser Jose Mari. He’s works at M Salon on Melrose and he’s fabulous!

Teddy receives a text about from Cristina about her housewarming party. Owen didn’t know they were having a housewarming party. Do you think he knows that his wife is gay and that her soul mate is Meredith?

The possessed museum curator Janosz Poha operates on Dahlia’s daughter Lisa, but the new liver is too big for Lisa’s little body. We’re going to need another bottle of Cabernet Sauvignon!

Callie and Cristina walk the mall (high school style) and Callie sports a hat to cover her bad haircut. Callie says she was a lot more fun when she was single. Cristina says she was never single. More proof that Cristina is a lesbian. Lesbians are never single. They just hook up with their best friends and U-Haul it the next day.

At lunch Alex shoots everyone with a ping-pong gun. Meredith walks into the cafeteria with an armed escort who is protecting the “secret patient.” Having all these security guards around makes it difficult to keep the patient a “secret.” Lexie shoots the guard in the back with a ping-pong ball. As Kimmy Gibbler would say, “How rude!”

Teddy and Owen have to fight with the secret patient’s posse and try to convince them that they are damn good surgeons. When someone fights with me I tend to believe them, don’t you?

Meredith and Derek scrub in together and (of course) talk about Cristina. Cristina has been gone for like 12 hours and everyone can’t stop talking about her.

Alex has a great idea to help baby Lisa. All he needs is a bottle of Chianti. Kidding. Alex wants to insert a ping-pong ball into baby Lisa. The possessed museum curator Janosz Poha dismisses Alex’s idea and scolds him.

Callie is getting her haircut and requests a new “badass” look. Cristina is enjoying the mall way too much. She’s eating yogurt and then goes off to devour a pretzel. Thanks a lot Cristina, now I’m hungry!

While operating on the “secret patient” Derek, Owen and Teddy are all talking about Cristina. Seriously, calm down everyone. Cristina hasn’t even been gone that long. Absence really does make the heart grow fonder.

During the doctor’s chitchat about Cristina, unsurprisingly something goes wrong with their “secret patient’s” surgery. Maybe if you doctors were focused on your patient rather than gossiping this wouldn’t have happened!

Alex goes to find the possessed museum curator Janosz Poha and a nurse tells Alex that he’s in the OR operating on baby Lisa. Alex races up to the observation room and sees the possessed museum curator Janosz Poha placing the ping-pong ball into baby Lisa. The Chief tells the possessed museum curator Janosz Poha that his idea is brilliant. April speaks up and says, “Who’s idea was it Dr. Stark originally? Was it yours or Doctor Karev’s?” April is standing up for her man.

Teddy and Derek argue about their “secret patient” and of course it’s just a bunch of subtext about Cristina. Owen tells Derek to back off since Cristina is his wife. Then Derek apologizes. It’s nice when someone actually admits when they are wrong. Ten points to Gryffindor! OK, who else is going to see Harry Potter on opening night?

Bailey goes to check in on Avery, who is reporting the time of death of the Chief’s patient. Avery freaks out and starts yelling that he didn’t do anything wrong. Bailey tries to calm him down then says, “Doctor Avery, step out of my OR.”

Cristina and Callie are celebrating at the housewarming party which means Cristina sits on the couch drinking wine (a glass of Red Diamond Shiraz she got from Dahlia) while Callie does all the work. Derek races into Cristina’s apartment and warns her that her friends and loved ones are planning an intervention to get her back into the medical program. (Which is actually a really nice thing.) A shocked and cute bobbed-haired Callie stands in the background and finalizes arranging the apartment like a good lesbian. All Callie has to do now is re-tile the bathroom floor and hang the shelves in the bedroom.

Alex is napping in one of the on-call rooms and April wakes him up to tell him that possessed museum curator Janosz Poha is awful. To really prove her point, she sits on Alex’s bed and throws herself at him. Alex kisses April and then begins to undress her. And I start to scream out loud to the television, “Don’t do it, don’t do it!” Alex undresses April and she reminds him that she’s a virgin.

April: Can we please just go a little slower? I need umm …

Alex: What? What do you need? What do you need from me? You wanna screw, let’s screw! You don’t then get out! I’m not going to hold your virgin hand and walk you threw it damnit! You’re not a child. I can’t take care of you. I can’t take care of everyone in this freaking place.

April, in her little pink bra, is shocked and silent. Alex realizes that he’s been an ass, yet again, and storms out of the room.

Even though I don’t particularly like April I’m glad she didn’t lose her virginity to Alex. Even April deserves better than that.

The head Secret Service guy goes to Teddy and tells her that the “secret patient” is already halfway across the country. The guard shakes her hand and asks her to join him in the cafeteria in one hour. Actually, he just leaves the hospital instead.

At Owen and Cristina’s housewarming party, McSteamy is acting as host since Cristina and Owen aren’t there yet. Once McSteamy sees Owen, he relinquishes his duties to him and finds the bar. Callie asks McSteamy if she can move in with him. She says she doesn’t want to be alone. McSteamy says yes, they can be roommates and he compliments her new haircut. (Please don’t sleep together in future episodes. PLEASE!!!)

April walks into the house warming party and is hysterical. She races over to Avery to be consoled. Owen looks for Cristina, who is hiding out on the roof with Derek with a bottle of wine. The wine is leftover from the Cherry Bomb set.

Dalila and her hubby look at their baby Lisa, who is A-OK and will most likely be a ping-pong prodigy.

Bailey is heartbroken over all the recent patient deaths. She tells the Chief that Cristina was the one resident that she didn’t have to worry about.

Alex walks into Cristina’s party to be greeted by Avery’s fists. Avery punches Alex in the face like five times. Who knew Avery was so tough? Lexie puts ice on Avery’s hand and Meredith puts a damp cloth on Alex’s bloody lip. The Grey girls would make great recovery room nurses.

Alex tells Meredith that he went home to Iowa to see his brother who was being psychiatrically committed because he’s schizophrenic and tried to kill Alex’s 16-year-old sister. While he was home, he had to take care of his mother who is off her medication and not doing well. April is just another person who needs to be taken care of.

On the roof of the firehouse, Cristina and Derek hide out and talk about redecorating their homes. Cristina finally says she has to go down to the party and mingle with her guest. Then Derek asks, “You good? Anything else you want to talk about?”

Tell him you’re scared to go back to the hospital but you desperately want to.

Tell him you want to divorce Owen but you don’t want to hurt his feelings.

Tell him you’re gay and in love with his wife!

Cristina responds, “What are you doing for bathroom tile?”

Cristina and Derek sit back down and continue talking about home décor and avoid the elephant in the room.

Lesbian Apparel and Accessories Gay All Day sweatshirt -- AE exclusive

Related Articles

Leave a Reply

Back to top button