“Grey’s Anatomy” minicap: “Almost Grown”

It’s time for Avery to cut into the Possible Lesbian’s brain. Derek gives Avery a little pep talk beforehand and stresses that brain surgery isn’t a game.  No, it’s not the game.  If you want to play a game of doctor I recommend Milton Bradley’s Operation.

Lexi checks in again on her patient Meghan and finds that the left side of her body is nub. Lexi pages Derek for a consult but since he’s in surgery, Derek sends Meredith to check on the patient instead.

April is freaked out that she’s going to embarrass herself in front of the panel. Cristina gives April advices and tells her that Teddy doesn’t believe Mr. Bad Lungs is a good candidate for an organ transplant. April is giddy that she now knows what to tell the panel and Cristina tells April not to worry.

Cristina, “Everyone will be fine, except for Roy (Mr. Bad Lungs). He will be dead.” That comment wiped April’s smile off her face and she scuttles away.

Meredith joins Lexi and finds out that Meghan has a brain bleed. They have to act fast. Meanwhile Avery makes a huge mistake on the Possible Lesbian and Derek has to push him out of the way and stop her brain from bleeding.

It’s Callie’s turn to make her case to the Chief. When she finishes the Chief tells her that he expected a more inspirational pitch like Arizona’s presentation. And here is how Callie responds (I still can’t believe she said this):

Callie: Oh yeah, tiny humans. Arizona is nicer than I am. She’s more patient. She went to Hopkins. She’s more rounded in her field. She’s a much a much better lesbian. I mean, I was sort of a later bloomer in that area.

And then Callie really goes off the rails.

Callie: She’s got a whole circle of lesbian friends, like this subculture. I’m always just; I’m always just a little bit left out. Just a little bit talked down to because I have a long history of enjoying sex with men, which I don’t think is something I have to apologize for, she’s just better.

Chief: So you want me to give Ortho a million dollars to level the playing field in your relationship?

Callie, knowing that she screwed up, hangs her head in shame.

Once and for all can McBeardy to come back to give these doctor’s some therapy. The Grey’s doctors are to medicine as Ally McBeal‘s staff was to law.

Mr. Bad Lungs asks Cristina if she’s a socially inept genius, then says he called his daughter and told her he’s in the hospital but she doesn’t want to visit him. (Maybe because he’s rude and tells strangers that they are socially inept?)

Knowing he’s alone Mr. Bad Lungs says, “It’s just you and me, sour puss!” Sorry Mr. Bad Lungs, Cristina already married an annoying guy so there is no room for you. Then Mr. Bad Lungs pleads to Cristina that he wants to live. Oh great, now Cristina will have to fight for his life in front of the panel. The sad part is it’s probably less hassle and a lot less paperwork if Mr. Bad Lungs just dies.

Since Derek is busy fixing Avery’s mistake in one OR, Meredith preps to do brain surgery on Meghan. With Lexi assisting, Meredith cuts into Meghan’s brain with ease.

The show is at its 44-minute mark, which means it’s time for the montage of surgery. While Derek is tending to the Possible Lesbian Alex cuts into his Boob Boy’s chest.  As Alex slices into the boy’s areola I throw up in my mouth a little bit. During the medical montage I think I spotted some kind of surgical fork. What is that? And why am I suddenly hungry?

Mr. Bad Lungs coughs alone in his room. Then Bailey asks Teddy, “You’re letting (April) Kipner lead the panel?”

Teddy says, “Yang’s been useless. She’s been no better than an intern!”

Teddy walks into the panel and the camera reveals that Cristina is located on the other side of the door and overheard what Teddy said.

Hey back off Teddy! Why don’t you go to the cafeteria and find a new d–k to suck!  Umm, I retract that last comment.*

*The opinions in this recap belong to Comedian Bridget McManus, and Bridget McManus alone. AfterEllen.com does not support or endorse Bridget’s vile language or general thoughts on life.

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