As usual, Richard shows up late and demands to know what’s going on. It’s good to know that even on a day like today, some things never change. The commander tells Webber about the shooter and the lock-down. Richard thinks evacuation sounds like a better plan, because he’s always wanted to give a good "let my people go" speech. The commander tells him to get back.
If you’re going to get shot, let it be in a hospital. And if you’re going to be found, let it be by two doctors. Lexie and Mark throw Alex on a conference room table and assess his GSW. Alex is conscious and boy, is he pissed off. "I’m going to kick that guy’s ass when I see him," he says through the pain.
Alex thinks he’s mad now? Wait until he finds out what worker’s comp pays.
Oblivious to what’s going on beyond their own little BFF world, Meredith and Cristina wander around, talking about Owen’s confusion over who he loves, and Cristina being a godmother. As they take a stroll around the floor, they’ve failed to notice the entire area is abandoned.
Derek runs into them and asks why the hell they’re walking around like nothing’s wrong. He shoves them in a closet, finally telling them that there’s a shooter in the building. Meredith and Cristina are not the last to know, however. Charles returns to his patient’s room in a panic and blurts out to Poop Bag and Bailey that a shooter is coming their way. With two seconds to process the information, Bailey does what it takes the SWAT team 20 minutes to do: she comes up with a plan. She tells Charles to hide in the closet, her patient to play dead, and she scurries under the bed.
Gary comes in the room to mutter to himself about the crapola directions he’s been given. He hears something moving about in the closet and finds Charles. "Are you a surgeon?" he asks. As soon as Charles says "Yes" Gary shoots him. Bailey covers her mouth in horror, but goes into full-blown terror when she feels him pulling her out from under the bed.
"Are you a surgeon?" he asks again. Sensing there’s a method to crazy gunman’s madness, Bailey tells him she’s just a nurse. Gary believes her, apologized for the trouble and the mess and walks out. Why did he believe her? Can’t stout black ladies be surgeons? Is this probably the only time racial profiling was ever a good thing. In other news, the patient would’ve crapped her pants, if only she could.
In pediatrics, Arizona is trying to talk about their relationship, while Callie is giving Arizona the cold wheel chair. Finally, she tells Arizona she hates her guts. Ooh, harsh.
Arizona: Whoa, whoa. I don’t deserve this. OK? I’ve treated you with nothing but respect and love.
Callie: Oh no. See, that’s the thing. You think you have, but you haven’t.
Arizona: I’m sure that it feels great to act like I’m the bad guy, but that’s t e biggest load of you-know-what that I’ve ever heard.
I know that look. We all know that look. We hate that look.
Callie: I have spent the last month trying to convince myself that I don’t need kids to be happy and then I stopped for a second, and thought, did you really try? To imagine what it would be like to change for me? Because I don’t think you did. What you did was you dismissed my dream. My dream. Which says to me that you don’t give a rat’s ass if I’m happy.
We care that you’re happy, Callie. Please don’t karate chop us.
Arizona is about to counterpoint by bringing up Callie’s habit of falling in love with love when little Ruby’s appendix stops the show. Well, well. It all comes out when the gloves come off. What next? And by the way, I hate your k.d. lang CD’s?
Elsewhere, Charles is bleeding all over the floor, and Bailey has no one to help her except Poop Bag, who’s figuratively, if not literally, losing her s–t. Owen and Teddy have finished their surgery, and are only now finding out about the shooter from Avery. They decide to risk being killed to take their patient to post-op, against Derek’s direct orders. There are real emergencies happen all over the place. The problems of two lesbians don’t amount to a hill of beans in this crazy world. Even so, Arizona keeps talking while Ruby’s appendix gets as big as an animal balloon.
"You have a huge heart, and I love that about you. But I don’t trust you," Arizona tells Callie. Ruby’s appendix blows, pow! Seattle could be falling into the ocean and these two would be arguing about who tried harder.
Meanwhile, Cristina spies Gary and his gun from her hiding place and puts it all together. He’s hunting for Derek.