Great LezBritain: The Top 10 British Ladies We Wish Were Gay, But Aren’t (As Far As We Know)

Fiona Bruce — The smart and sexy one (Sarah’s free pass)

Over the last couple of days, we have barely slept due to our election addiction. And one woman has boosted our reserves more than anything else. She is the BBC news reader Fiona Bruce. Even when the news is on a cycle of repetition, it somehow seems much better when it is delivered by Fiona and her trademark arched eyebrows.

As well as being incredibly easy on the eye, Bruce is also one who could be a very valuable member on your pub quiz team. She has a degree in modern languages and is now the most senior female newsreader in the country and she is a committed feminist. We like her so much we might even start watching the Antiques Road Show, which she took over at the end of last year. Considering this show is at times so boring it could be trialed as a possible cure for insomnia, this tells you much about Bruce’s magnetic appeal.

Karen Gillan — The new assistant (Dr. Who)

We have loved all of the Doctor’s assistants in a purely platonic sense. We loved Rose Tyler and her mum and her love for the Doctor, we loved Martha Jones and her intelligence and how she once single-handedly saved the whole world and we loved Donna Noble and the way she made us laugh. We mourned them all as they separated from the Doctor and we were concerned that we wouldn’t get fourth time lucky.

But of course we needn’t have worried one bit, because this is the BBC and they are very clever. And now they have only gone and given us Amy Pond, the first assistant that we might actually fancy. She is much more sassy and long-legged than her predecessors. and much to the Daily Mail’s horror, she is the first one that has ever tried to shag the Doctor. We approve.

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