Great LezBritain: The lesbian housemates of “Big Brother UK”

 
 

Series 6

There was a lesbian kiss between Sam and Makosi during this season but it was so appallingly attention seeking and with an eye on a magazine deal on the outside that we will speak of it no more – but will sneak in a picture because they were both quite easy on the eye.

Series 10

Angel McKenzie was a professional boxer and former famous pop star in her homeland of Russia. She spent her time in the house pumping iron, gubbing raw eggs and falling for femme fatale Noreen before being kicked out on week four.

Unemployed Lisa Wallace entered the house proclaiming that she could turn any straight girl that she wanted. We have to assume that she didn’t want any of the straight girls in the house seeing as none of them were ‘turned’ by her so-called charms. Lisa spent the summer smoking roll-ups and having mind-numbingly tedious conversations that seemed to always begin with ‘At the end of the day’ with David, a man whose voice was so irritating it made the vuvuzela sound like Vivaldi.

Series 11

So here we are now with the new breed of lady queers. Corin Forshaw is apparently 29 years old, but we strongly question in which year she was last 29. With her Oompa Loompa skin and authentic 30G bust, members of the press have taken to referring to her as Katie Cut-Price.

Tragically, her husband of just four months was killed in accident, and Corin now has a long term girlfriend. She has referred to her girlfriend as "being like a man" and has also said she thinks her next relationship would be with a man. Which sounds like the sort of things that many gay or bi-sexual women say when they are still coming to terms with living an openly gay lifestyle and want to make sure they are not boxed into the "other" category quite yet.

Keeley Katchadourian, or Shabby as she is known, was a child actress, singer in a band and is very proud to be a squatter. We know that Shabby was born into riches, and so when we see her talk on television about her lifestyle, in our heads Jarvis Cocker appears on her shoulder and sings softly into her ear, “If your called your daddy he could stop it all.”

We do wonder when Shabby will ever be seen without a hat? Maybe never if those rumours about a bald patch are to be believed (again we started these rumours).

This week, Shabby almost had to pack up her Oliver twist outfits and black eyeliner as she faced eviction. Judging from our Twitter feed, she was saved because the ladies wanted to see a bit more of her. It is safe to say that Shabby’s Shane-esque good looks have already gathered her a lustful lady following and they certainly didn’t want her to leave the house before she shags Caoife. I think we would also be fine with this.

"Great LezBritain" authors Sarah, a Londoner, and Lee, a Glaswegian, met in a gay discotheque one bleak mid winter, eight years ago and have been shacked up together ever since. When not watching Tipping The Velvet, they find time to write, run a PR company, DJ at their own club nights and love a bit of jam on toast. Follow them on Twitter at greatlezbritain.

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