Great LezBritain: “Lip Service” Recap – Season 2, Episode 6

The play is still on. Tess is acting her little socks off while Hipflask has his back to the audience while texting. We are about ready to march into that theatre and punch Hipflask’s face. If he ruins this play for Tess, he’ll be number two on our fictional TV character s–t-list – just one place behind Bad Girls’ Jim Fenner. Oh it makes us spitting angry even typing his name. And now Nora’s stuck a sexy picture into one of Tess’s props. We bite our thumbs at them all. But Tess is a trooper and delivers the last line of the first half with aplomb and Lexy claps beaming at her from the audience.

In the theatre bar, Lexy and Ed are getting a drink.

Ed: It’s quite long isn’t it?

Sarah: Ha, that’s what you say at a ballet
Lee: It’s true; I can only watch so much prancing around. They’re at it for hours.

Ed: Are you enjoying it?
Lexy: Tess is great.
Ed: I wonder where Sadie got to?
Lexy: Maybe her aunt took her for some tea?

She pronounces the “tea” in a way that makes it obvious that Lexy has actually stolen our joke, and by tea she means sex. This is awkward; get your own jokes Lexy.

Lexy looks at her phone and sees she has a missed call. She listens to the message and it’s a stuttery Sam asking if she’s at the hospital and then apologising for calling saying that it’s nothing. Lexy is wide eyed. We know there are lots of Lexy/Tess shippers out there, but Sam’s effect on Lexy is just palpable.

Sarah: You can see she’s trying with Tess, but that doesn’t work.
Lee: It can’t be controlled — you feel it or you don’t. It doesn’t grow; it’s there as soon as you meet.
Sarah: Yep, even though Tess would be the saner option right now, Sam just makes her feel the thing.

Ed sneaks backstage – sack the theatre security – Tess is complaining about Nora and overdoing the white make-up until Ed asks if she dies in the next act. We chuckle and realise we’ve missed all of the Ed/Tess scenes this series. Ed tells Tess that Lexy said she was great and can’t keep her eyes off her. To be fair, the whole audience can’t really keep their eyes off her because she’s in front of them doing a play and they are all watching the play. But Ed is being sweet and Tess looks really excited.

She wouldn’t look so excited if she could see Lexy downing beer and calling Sam back with a determination in her eyes in the bar. It clicks onto an answermachine. A voice announces the second half is about to begin and Lexy makes her decision. The decision is to go to Sam. We’re sorry, Texy shippers, but it’s always been Sam for Lexy.

Hipflask is still on his phone in the wings and Tess snaps, wrestling it from him with a little help from Nora. And the second half begins.

Sadie is hailing a cab. We suspect this cab is taking her to a place called pain. Sadie, get to your room!

Hipflask is back on the phone in the wings spitting vile bits of news into his ex-wife’s answer machine. He hangs up and, defeated, admits it’s over. Tess nods sadly and rubs his arm, which just shows how lovely she is, because really she should have his selfish face in a headlock.

Sam arrives home and looks around the half empty bottles and debris sadly. Lexy is walking and walking and walking to get to her. Ed looks at the empty seat beside him and Tess also notices the absence of Lexy from the stage.

Lauren is at the dinner party from hell as posh bird questions where she got her watch and Jo Glass stares glacial icebergs across the room at her. Lauren’s phone beeps and it’s another text message from Sadie telling her she’s outside. Lauren says its work and rushes out before Sadie comes in.

Tess is delivering some lines in the play that make us feel all wobbly because it’s all about how she’s never noticed and someone else always shines more brightly than she. We are obviously paraphrasing; these are not Chekhov’s exact words.

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