The Lip Service hospital is getting a lot of action this series, and here is Sam again pounding down the corridor with someone else she loves in a critical condition. Ryder is all bloody and Sam is told to wait outside.
At rehearsal, Hipflask’s wife has called and a message is passed on that he is in breach of his restraining order and to stop contacting her. The director tells everyone how fantastic they have been and wishes them luck for the opening show. As Tess tries to leave the stage, Nora grabs her in a tightly gripped hug and tells her to break a leg – like she really means it. Tess says thank you but doesn’t see Nora then march across the stage to pour vinegar into a decanter that we assume Tess will need to drink from during the show.
Lee: Do you think she breast-pumped that vinegar directly from her own tits?
Sadie arrives at the theatre wearing yet another pair of f–king fabulous shoes, just as Ed and Lexy walk up. She comments that Lexy has made an effort and indeed Lexy does look spiffing in a red dress and leather jacket. Sadie reminds Ed and Lexy that they have to remember Lauren is her aunt when she arrives. Ed and Lexy leave Sadie to wait on her aunty Lauren.
Sam is in the hospital bathroom washing her hands because cleanliness is next to godliness. She looks at herself in the mirror again and she has such, sad, sad eyes. It’s heartbreaking and we’re ready for Sam to have a little bit of sugar sometime soon because these performances from Heather are excellent but distressing.
Sarah: I find it really weird that some of the comments about Sam dealing with Cat have been along the lines of she should just be over it as they hadn’t been dating very long.
Lee: I know, if the exact same thing had happened to me, I would have been like Michael Douglas in Falling Down. Just rampaging into McDonald’s with a machine gun demanding a cheeseburger.
Sarah: So by that comparison, Sam’s decline has been very tame.
Lee: Not even on the same Richter scale as my madness.
Sam picks up her phone and dials a number.
Lee: Please tell me she’s calling the doctor
Sarah: Doctor Who?
Lee: We are not keeping that joke in.
Tess looks just perfect in her period costume. She would have been an amazing girlfriend for Nan King. She knocks on Hipflask’s door to tell him that they’ve had their call, but the absolute fool of a man doesn’t answer.
Sadie is outside still waiting for Lauren, who we all knew wasn’t going to show up. We all knew that didn’t we? Because she’s got a wife and it’s not that simple, silly Sadie — go to your room!
The play has begun, but Tess is having kittens at the side of the stage as Hipflask still hasn’t arrived and has missed his cue. Just as the audience start to get twitchy, there he is.
Sadie gives up and gives her tickets to a couple outside. As she walks across the street, she is watched with a rather knowing expression through a window by the blonde girl with the tremendous hair that Frankie failed to shag in episode one. What is the significance of her return, we wonder?
The play is still on and Tess sneaks a little look at Ed and Lexy, or probably just Lexy. She takes a drink of Nora’s mammary juices and grimaces. Nora looks delighted, but Tess manages to keep it together and get the next line out.
Lauren is at home checking her “hot” watch and looking out the window. Jo Glass comes into the room with a bottle of champagne.
Lauren: They’re late!
Jo: Well you know Cath. Whatever you wanted to do at the office can wait. I mean, can’t you just forget about work for one bloody night Lauren.
Just then “Cath” and her missus arrive — and would you Adam and Eve it? “Cath” is only the posh bird from the gallery and she immediately eye spies Lauren’s watch.
Sam enters Ryder’s hospital room. She rubs his arm and says she’s sorry but Ryder looks away and says nothing.
Sam: I couldn’t get there in time. You were right, I’m so sorry.
Ryder: Forget it. (In a way that suggests he won’t)