Sadie is at the gallery while some posh bird circles a vase talking about going to Aspen on her mobile.
Posh bird: I like that; it’s a very vivid vase. It’s a really pleasing shape too. It really follows you around the room.
Sadie looks bemused and then starts to circle the vase Artful Dodgeress stylee and with an excellent interpretation of the posh bird’s voice she agrees that the vase is indeed following her here, there and everywhere. She tells the posh bird that it’s £35,000 and gives her a brochure with more information, which disturbingly the woman decides to take to the bathroom to peruse.
Lee: Ew, that’s a bit weird. I hate it when you go to someone’s house and they have a pile of magazines by the toilet in preparation.
Sarah: But no one can deny it’s sometimes handy
Hipflask has just read that his ex and Thomas Delaware are getting married in a celebrity magazine. He takes this really well, calmly admitting that he ought to just move on. Except of course he doesn’t, he goes radio rental and disrupts the play’s run-through. Tess is dispatched to deal with him and he tells her he’s having an epiphany. Tess says what we’re all thinking; that there’s no time for this. Hugh’s epiphany is that he’s going to get Maggie back.
Sadie goes to the bathroom and lo and behold, the posh bird has left her posh Rolex by the sink. So of course she puts it on her own wrist.
Gay Stud wants Lexy to take an injured child to Sexray for him because he’s sick of being ignored by him. Lexy says absolutely no way, but then proceeds to do it for him. This is just Lexy all over; she’s just a bloody good egg. She has entered our laminated list of top 1- lesbian characters of all time.
Team Mur-Der is still at the drugs bust. Sam radios Ryder to say that vehicle A is approaching. Everyone is springing into action, but Sam is still fighting her panic attack hitting full thrust. She shakes it off and they intercept the drugs gang. There’s lots of handcuffs and truncheons and mounting of bodies until they have all of the baddies under control.
Lexy enters Sexray’s office.
Lexy: (about the child outside) He’s broken his Fibea. And my friend fancies you. But you probably already knew that
Lexy: And so you don’t fancy Declan back? OK, whatever. But he’s really funny and great company, he’s not that bad a guy actually underneath all the bravado. Can you please just put him out of his misery, because no offence, but I’m f—ing sick of hearing about you.
The bad guys are being bundled into a van, when suddenly Sam hears Ryder calling for her over the radio, needing help. She tries to go to him but the panic attack comes full pelt and she’s left gasping and helpless as Ryder screams through the radio.
At the hospital, Gay Stud jumps into a cupboard to avoid Sexray who is walking down the corridor towards him. Sexray enters after him.
Sexray: Are you avoiding me?
Gay Stud: Oh no, not at all — I was just getting myself an enema bag.
Sexray: Listen I don’t take kindly to being cruised at work.
Gay Stud: That’s a bit presumptuous.
Sexray: You might have just asked me for dinner instead of expecting me to follow you into the nearest toilet. Having said that, I am free tonight, I might let you buy me dinner if you promise to behave like a grown up.
Gay Stud: Well it’s a bit short notice; I might need to check my diary. Yes I’ll be there.
Lee: Be where? How does he know where to go? It really bothers me when proper arrangements aren’t made on TV shows.
Sam rushes down some stairs to find Ryder badly beaten up and orders an ambulance. The atmosphere goes a bit slo-mo and we get a few shots of Glasgow looking a little bit more “No mean City” than it normally does on Lip Service.