Well this is an episode that will find itself on the “Most Watched” section of the iPlayer for the next four years or until it stops being sexy and funny and sad and tense and wondrous, which we’d wager will be never. It’s also the last one, which is upsetting because it feels like we’ve all just got settled in together and kicked our shoes off and we no longer feel the need to wear make-up around each other or pretend to like jazz so we seem interesting.
Anyway, we do go on a bit, let’s get started.
Sam is having a wash in the bathroom, which is good, because hygiene is good, but also she’s topless. As she splashes her face, she looks at herself for a long time in the mirror, searching for something, searching for herself.
It’s the opening night of Uncle Vanya and Tess can’t believe it’s already here. Much like the nation of Lip Servants who are currently retracing their steps from the last six weeks asking themselves how they can be watching the final episode of Lip Service already.
She tells Sadie and Lexy at the breakfast table that she’s had “the dream.” The one where she’s onstage naked and everyone can see her ladygarden. Ed arrives and Sadie drily tells him that Tess is having a breakdown. To Tess’s utter joy, Lexy gives her an opening night gift which is enclosed in a pink box.
Lee: Is this just a pink box. Or should we be reading this as a metaphor for what will happen between Lexy and Tess later?
Sarah: I would need to see the inside of the pink box before commenting.
Tess is eager beaver to dive straight into Lexy’s pink box, but Lexy says, no, wait until later, and Tess cutely does as she’s told because darn it she loves Lexy.
Through a mouthful of cereal Sadie demands her ticket for the play. Tess hands them out saying all of their names like a schoolteacher, until she has one left and does an awkward “Saaa.” Ed asks if anyone has heard from Saaaam, but no, the fraught cop has not been answering anyone’s calls.
Tess heads for the shower – another good example of hygiene – and Ed asks if anyone has someone they’d like to bring on the extra ticket. Lexy absentmindedly says yes, and then no that they wouldn’t want a ticket when Ed asks who the lady might be.
Sadie: No offence, but seeing how I’m the only one who’s likely to be getting any later — (Takes the ticket.)
Sadie leaves and the camera stays on Lexy’s face looking thoughtful. We definitely think she’s thinking of Sam. This is probably what you’re thinking too. But we said it first. Some of you probably think she’s thinking about Tess, but we think you’re wrong.