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Great LezBritain: “Lip Service” Recap – Season 2, Episode 5

So Lip Service: The sequel has now settled into itself. It’s a bona fide new show even down to the direction and the long lingering shots of sexy Glasgow all melting into each other lovingly. Kudos to Harriet Braun for writing two different shows called Lip Service and actually managing to make us like the second one even more. Here goes, it’s the penultimate.

Sam sits, knuckles crossed in her flat looking angered by Cat’s last possessions strewn in front of her. Lexy rings her phone but Sam walks away from it.

Lexy is calling because she is due to meet Sam for another jogging session. She leaves a voice message exclaiming that resorting back to the way they were pre-Sam kiss attack should be a doodle. She says that she assumes she’s most likely trotting over to meet her anyhow. But we all know what assuming does don’t we? Something tells us there will just be one jogger in Glasgow on this day.

Lee: A straight friend training for the 10k told me the other day that she and her friends jog around the Clyde and they pretend to be Lexy and Sam. Sarah: That’s quite weird. Sadie swans into her kitchen in her familiar dressing gown garb, Tess is sitting looking at her laptop bemused at Sadie’s early morning rise. She informs Tess her adulteress Lauren is returning from her work travels, which has put a spring in her step. Tess tells Sadie that her lesbi-friend aka Cardiac Care’s make-up artist has been besieging her Facebook page.

Sarah: Block, block. Lee: I really hate blocking. Sarah: Why? If annoying people just kept turning up at your house, irritating you and upsetting you, you’d kick them out wouldn’t you? Lee: No, I’d probably make them tea. Actual tea, not sex tea.

Sadie, as cool as a cucumber, lays out Lauren’s marital status and her new job situation much to Tess’ facial scorns. Sadie does not notice as she flicks mindlessly through a magazine, morally bereft.

Sadie: Lauren’s really into me, so…
Sam comes knocking and Tess goes to answer the door, she storms in like a detective on a case, as hard as nails, entirely unbreakable. She gives Sadie a stern death stare en route and turns to Tess.

Sam: I know about Cat and Frankie. You knew too, that’s why you’ve been avoiding me. How long?
Tess looks like she could s–t a brick. We have already s–t some bricks. Tess looks at Sadie, hoping for some deflection, but Sadie is still sitting utterly unperturbed by the scene unfolding before her. Sam whips her focus back demanding to rinse her of the details of the Cat McKenzie/Frankie Alan affair. Oh when we see their names there, we get a little pang. The type you get when friends move abroad and then you don’t write, because you’re all rubbish, but you know that you’re still friends forever and they can still sleep on your couch if they ever visit.

Sadie chips in with a bored drawl that Frankie and Cat were most likely continuing with their caper for a good while, and if so, there was nothing that could be done. Sadie, the voice of the truth bomb.

Tess: Look, honestly I only found out the day Cat died and I’ve been feeling so guilty. Sam: Grow the f–k up Tess.
Lee: Oh god, I’m breaking out in a nervous rash.
Sadie: What was she supposed to do, make an announcement at the funeral?.
Sadie and Sam are antithesis; Sam raged by being cheated and treated like a mug, Sadie unaffected seeing the hopelessness of today’s anger on yesterday’s happenings.

Lexy walks in on the troubles and tells Sam to leave Tess alone for she is very small and the blame does not lie in her warm, happy little heart. The hot-cop, turned fraught-cop storms out. Tess panics about her well being. Lexy is visibly perplexed due to her deeper feelings but thinks that Sam should be left to cool off.

Sadie: Look I feel sorry for her and everything but there is only two people to blame for this and well, neither of them are here anymore so –
Sarah: That was all very tense. I think the fraught-cop’s anger is to be expected though? Lee: Yes I get it, but it’s so uncomfortable to see anyone shouting at Tess.

Tess leaves to get dressed and Sadie breaks the news to Lexy that has been obvious to us voyeurs for some time: Tess is putty in Lexy’s hand and obviously is a smitten kitten. Lexy ponders this.

Lexy and Tess are in one of Glasgow’s absolutely bestest places to visit for veggie food and a lot of alcohol and music, the 13th Note Café. They are very foolishly not having the veggie burger and spicy chips, instead just supping some (is this a date?) tea.

They still can’t reach DS Murray by means of telephone, but Lexy is sure all will be well. Ed and Nora enter and join them, Nora immediately plummeting into Tess’ wellbeing after her bacterialwhatsit bout and enquiring as to when she and lesbi-friend will rekindle their special times. Tess tells her that she must focus on her play and not be playing with others. Ed knows Tess is playing silly buggers and thinks that maybe she should try harder with such a fit lesbian.

Ed invites both Tess and Lexy to a sci-fi book launch, Tess rebukes the offer even with the promise of free liquor until Lexy shows her interest and then the appeal changes, which Lexy can’t help but eye spy. Ed suggests Sam cometh also. Lexy leaves as she has work to attend but tells him that Sam is a busy bee. Ed asks whether Sam is okay, Tess lies unconvincingly and tells him all is indeed dandy. Lexy walks to work, while a very tall man stands out of view watching her footsteps.

In her art gallery Jo Glass shows Sadie some plain canvases that have simply been painted a colour or two and tries to express the wonderments of the work, much to Sadie’s internal scoffing. She is left by Jo Glass to price up the works and is in utter awe that these bad boys have a price tag of £20K. Lexy meets Bea as she comes to ready herself for her daily grind. She complains about her recent conflicts and Bea makes her chuckle with a comment about a blow up doll. This light relief is just the ticket for Lexy, and Bea takes this obvious pleasure as the cue to lead her into the toilet for some hanky-panky.

Lauren arrives at the gallery, much to Sadie’s twisted delight. However Lauren gives her the cold shoulder and tells her this reaction is the normal way she’d behave towards a lowly receptionist worker – which makes her sound like a right hierarchical dickhead – and that Jo Glass is the one she has come for.

Sadie reminds her that they are having a bit of how’s your father so this is not entirely a true reflection of the situation, but Lauren tells her those days are done. She leaves with Jo Glass and Sadie texts her a lewd message.

Gay Stud and Lexy are walking and talking. Gay Stud tells her that rejecting Sam’s advances was not wise because it was sex, and to partake in that, whatever the weather, is a bonus, which is a shallow interpretation of events. Lexy admits defeat on the Sam front and homes in on looking at Tess in a whole new light.

Sadie is sitting on her lonesome in the gallery bored rigid. She texts Lauren again telling her of her apathetic state, but Lauren does not seem to be biting, so like any normal gallery worker, Sadie proceeds to eat sweets and slide her chair around in circles.

Sarah: This is how I used to spend my days when I was doing work experience in Chambers. Lee: I am so surprised that they did not offer you a permanent job.

She zooms her chair in to read a text, most likely hoping to find some text chatter from Lauren. It was not Lauren, so Sadie returns to her fun and knocks her coffee over half of the white £20K painting. Her attempts to wipe away the oily coffee spillage with a tissue are, unsurprisingly, futile.

The same creepy fella from last time is in the hospital watching Lexy.

Tess is back at the Tron having her costume fitted. She tells Hipflask that she hopes Lexy will see her perform and that she hopes too that she has not judged her on the lesbi-friend debacle, as she wouldn’t want Lexy to think that is her type of girl. Nora bounds in dropping off lunch for Tess insisting it is a free offering, much to Tess’s surprised delight.

Hipflask is staring across the room at the costume designer’s rather large pair of Bert and Ernies as she bends down to sew some buttons or something of the like. Tess is pleased as punch that Hipflask is venturing into forests new and is delighted also that Hipflask is sure that Sharon, the costume designer liketh him too due to the number of fittings she has requested from him.

Lee: I could be wrong because I was drunk when I met her, but I think that is one of the actual Lip Service costume designers. It might not be though. Sarah: Well thanks for sharing that really brilliant story. The creepy fella lurches with intent towards Lexy as she walks the hospital corridor. She senses all is not well and tries to back track but he speeds up with menace by his side and grabs her wrist. The pieces begin to fall and Lexy realizes this is her stalker. He actually looks exactly like to you might imagine a stalker to look. If you’ve ever imagined such a thing.

Creepy Stranger: Stay away from my wife. Lexy: I don’t know what you’re talking about? Creepy Stranger: This jog your memory? [handing her a T-shirt] Lexy: What? This is mine. Where did you get this? Creepy Stranger: You gave it to her. Lexy: Bea?
And thus the stalker conundrum is solved.

Creepy Stranger continues mouthing off and is more emphatic in his instructions for her to keep her distance from his wife, when the situation becomes double the trouble and Bea Junior comes running up the corridor to join this not so great party.

Lee: Great casting of that small child, she looks exactly like Bea.

So Lexy has it laid bare. Bea is not only with husband but also with small child and Lexy can only be stunned into silence. Husband of Bea takes his daughter’s hand and leaves Lexy to get her head around the fact that Bea’s wife Suzy is actually a tall ginger bloke with a beard.

Sarah: It definitely seems sensible that he is dealing with the fact that his wife is a lesbian by stalking Lexy. Lee: Who knows what you’d do in that situation? If I discovered you had a tall bearded husband on the fly I’ve no idea what I’d do. Sarah: I don’t. Lee: But you would say that, wouldn’t you?

Lexy finds Bea, who is looking after an old woman, and lays into her about her marital status and conniving ways. Lexy’s whole person is a fist of rage.

Lee: Wow, everyone is very angry in this episode. And attractive.

Bea is flabbergasted by the truth being unraveled like this, but tells Lexy she was in a no-win situation as she couldn’t leave Bea Junior and the bearded husband. This riles Lexy more and she races off with no sympathy, just feeling betrayed and used. As you would.

DS Murray and DS Ryder AKA Team Mur-der have been informed that a suspect has been picked up for dirty drug dealings. Ryder is ready to rumble but DS Murray wants to hold back and make him sweat because as she tells Ryder, this one is junkie scum and this is the way to do it with addicts. We would not expect this to be the sort of thinking that Sam has in her head, but she’s just said it, so we suppose it must be. Lexy phones and DS Murray tells her to stop phoning with a very definite tone. DS Murray’s hackles are razor sharp and Ryder is very discomfited by her new ways.

Gay Stud is jacking off a guy in a cupboard which means that he missed meeting sexray dude. This are the breaks kid, these are the breaks. Sadie is still in the art gallery trying to phone Lauren to no avail. A customer wanders in and she smooths him over with talk of a very special artwork round the back. It turns out that this is not a euphemism, but the white canvas with coffee spillage etched in. The fool of a customer is taken in hook line and sinker and the ARTful Dodgeress is firing on all cylinders.

Lexy and Gay Stud talk about their recent woes — he feeling used by his recent sexual activity in the broom cupboard and she feeling used by Bea. Gay Stud makes an ill-timed joke about her vagina size, but Lexy is not tickled and walks off needing a friend, not the shallow, penis for a brain, Gay Stud.

DS Murray walks into the interview room with Ryder and the “junkie scum.” She looks in no mood to muck about. She asks her suspect about his dodgy dealings and what he knows about all the drugs he was found with. He is playing dumb and wishes not to converse about these wider issues. Sam hovers beside him and then rams him off his chair via an explosion of Cat MacKenzie/Frankie Alan-shaped rage. Ryder holds her back, because apparently this is not how you are supposed to treat suspects in an interview. We’re not so sure because we’ve seen 24 and she just seems to be deploying the very popular Jack Bauer technique. Ryder takes her out of the room.

Ryder: What the f–k was that? Sam: Oh, I’m sorry, was I too hard on him? Only I was under the impression that he’s a piece of junkie scum who holds the key to a major drugs bust. Ryder: It’s not only him though is it? I mean you’re going off at everyone these days. Sam: Well if they’ve got a problem they can say so to my face. Ryder: Well they can’t because you’ve lost it. I found that CCTV footage of Cat because you left the disc in the machine. I’ve sorted it, but what if I’m not there next time you screw up? You need to take some time off, go home. Sam: To what?
Our hearts bleed for Sam in unison because she’s just so lost and this path she’s on is not leading anywhere fun. The fraught-cop badly needs a doctor. Now, where would she find one of those?

Ryder goes back into the interview room and Sam is left now with something else stripped away.

Tess is sitting at her laptop with Lexy moping around her. When Tess asks what the devil, Lexy tells her of Bea’s duplicitous ways, and Tess into springs into action; she offers pizza, beer and a warm glow after a troubling day. Lexy sweetly smirks to herself for Tess is the very comfort blanket she needed around her.

The Artful Dodgeress is still at the art gallery texting Lauren. Jo Glass tells her she may now depart as she’s with customers and the working day is nearly drawing to a close.

Lexy and Tess shoot the breeze over a couple of beers. Lexy harps on about being taken for a ride – in the metaphorical sense – by Bea.

Lexy: Do you think it’s this complicated when you’re straight? Tess: Yea but the sex is crap. Lexy: See, that’s why I like you.
Cue Tess to feel as gleeful as a Cheshire cat who has just caught a mouse.

The Artful Dodgeress has taken her early dismissal as an opportunity to head straight to the house of Lauren (and Jo Glass.) She arrives declaring her admiration at the expensive bricks and mortar this lady doth surround herself with. Lauren is visibly freaked out by Sadie’s appearance and by extension her presumption that she can take a house visit whenever she fancies.

Nonetheless she lets her in and Sadie questions why she’s being a bore snore. Lauren tells her that she’s an adult with adult ways, indicating that Sadie is childish — a point she would have laboured harder had she seen the chair and sweet antics earlier in the gallery. Sadie takes her dress off and Lauren’s feeble attempts at batting her away are easily overcome by Sadie marching towards her in her underwear and touching her in the nether regions. They kiss passionately and Sadie tells her she must meet her tomorrow afternoon. Lauren questions how this can be done when she is such a busy bee. Sadie comes up with the genius methodology of feigning a dentist appointment as she goes down. Lauren seems to think this is suddenly a really lovely idea. Out of the corner of her eye through the window, Lauren spots Jo Glass arriving home and rushes Sadie away into a downstairs toilet of all places. Jo Glass comes in singing Sadie’s praises for selling a 20K painting on her first day.

She then spots Sadie’s bag and puts Lauren into a corner about the why of this, but before Lauren can utter a syllable, Sadie swans in artfully dodging any awkwardness by making up a fable about short changing the till and handing Lauren her dues. Sadie makes her exit and exchanges a glance with Lauren that suggests this party for two is certainly not over.

Lexy and Tess are still drinking beer straight from the bottle in their flat and writing out a list about what maketh the perfect partner. They decide that loving the band Coldplay is not a good look on a woman. We nod. They both agree that they do not like Coldplay and they hold each other’s gaze at this admission and sexual feelings seem to rise in both of them. Sarah: It is sexy to discover that your girlfriend does not like Coldplay. Lee: It’s even sexier to discover she’s not a fan of Gwyneth Paltrow.

At this moment the Artful Dodgeress rides in plonking herself on the couch behind them. The ill timing of this three’s a crowd moment makes Lexy shuffle away from Tess. Tess asks if she wants another beverage, Sadie says she will take it on, but Lexy heads to bed.

Sadie: Good night?
Tess looks forlorn and tells her it was nothing special but her heart is ticking over with something else.

Tess is back at rehearsals holding a mirror for Hipflask as he trims his nasal hair.

Sarah: That’s a scene very similar to you and me last night: art imitating our life. Lee: I do wish you wouldn’t over-share.

Tess speaks of her night with Lexy and whether Lexy too can be feeling stirrings of a loving kind after their ‘moment’? She suggests Hipflask comes along to the Sci-Fi book launch that evening to analyze Lexy and see what he thinks of the situation. He cannot for he has a date with the wardrobe lady, who may or may not be the actual Lip Service wardrobe lady. Tess is very pleased that this is happening for Hipflask, because she’s the perfect friend.

Lee: I get the vibe that people don’t really like these little Tess and Hipflask scenes but I’m going to go against the grain and say that I do like them. Sarah: I do too. Lee: Are you just saying that because I’m saying that? Sarah: No? I genuinely like them. I’m my own person.

An employee is chatting some nonsense to Lauren back at work about something or another. Lauren snaps and tells her assistant to cancel all of her appointments. She is not dull; she has the dentist.

Ed goes to see Sam whose flat is a pigsty, a further rejection of Cat or a visual illustration of how the fraught-cop’s normal resolve is being dismantled. Ed asks how she is and she says she’s fine and he may leave. Bless Ed for not even flinching at her hardness, because he just gets it. He knows her pain because he still feels her pain.

Ed: We need to look out for each other, Sam, it’s what Cat would have wanted. Sam: Oh please, she did not know what she wanted. You know, go and find Frankie and comfort her cos she was the one Cat was f—ing the day she died.
Sam walks past Ed who is left looking shocked by the unveiling of his sister’s one dark secret.

Lauren waits on Sadie, who teases her about her new risk-taking ways when she arrives.

Lauren: I’m doing what I like.
Lauren tells her that if they are spotted Sadie should pretend to be her niece. The thought of this role-play makes Sadie feel aroused and they hold hands and begin their day of fun.

Lee: They look amazing together in this scene. Like a couple of hot goths.

At the hospital Gay Stud walks into the ladies toilet to apologize to Lexy for his recent rubbish behavior. They hug and all is well with the medical duo once more.

Sadie and Lauren are in a sex shop, which inspires them to play out roles of a different kind: Sadie is PVC clad and Lauren is dressed as Little Bo Beep. They take their getup and fingers to the changing room which ends in Sadie telling Lauren to “take it bitch or your arse gets the fairy wand.” Which is exactly what the Fairy Godmother said to Cinderella in the original version of the book. Ed is with Nora having tea. Cups of it. He tries to speak to her about the recent revelation about Cat. Nora gives this very limited attention before asking him to pick up her dry cleaning for the book launch that eve.

Ed agrees to the dry cleaning run because he is a bit of a wet weekend where Nora is concerned, but says he doesn’t feel in the right frame of mind to attend the launch. Nora twists his arm by telling him that work must come before grieving the memory of his sister. She delivers it in a very sly manner though, without this level of blatancy, but we can see right through her and it’s important that you do too. She leaves telling him to hold his “chin up.”

Sadie and Lauren are having lunch and getting on like a house on fire now that their barriers and pretenses are down and it is just them having lunch and not sexing in secret places. Sadie offers to pay for their lunch and hands over a card to the waiter. Lauren observes that Sadie really does not have the cash to splash.

Sadie: Yes, I do. There’s a huge limit on that library card. After you. Walk don’t run.
The fingersmiths leave in a giddy hurry and wander the streets of Glasgow as thick as thieves. Lauren noticeably has a new bounce in her step and is fawning gleefully over her Artful Dodgeress.

Ed, Nora and Tess arrive at the Sci-Fi launch, Nora’s focus is blatantly on rubbing shoulders with the relevant movers and shakers and speeds off in search of them. Ed clearly wishes not to be there and tells Tess that he knows of Cat and Frankie’s misdemeanors. Tess tells him how tricky it was for her to come clean with this knowledge, but because they are true best friends he tells her he understands and just hopes that Cat was a happy one before she kicked the bucket.

Lee: Ed is the best isn’t he? He just “gets” everything. Sarah: But he needs to “get rid” of that horrible succubus. Lee: I do love her though. Sarah: I do, too.

Ed is spotted by a group of sci-fi enthusiasts who recognize his face because of his forthcoming novel. He obliges their request for autographs and this new found fame seems to temporarily bring him a little cheer.

Lexy arrives with Gay Stud and greets an excitable Tess. Gay Stud goes to get booze and Lexy eye spies Tess’ lesbi-friend and ushers Tess away before she can be spotted.

Lexy greets Tess on the roof with a pitcher full of booze and a green cardboard cutout monster. Sarah: This is all the vital requirements for a topnotch party.

They reminisce about how wondrous last night was and just as Tess is about to spill the beans of her feelings for Lexy, her phone beeps. It is Hipflask asking her to come and meet him.

Outside Hipflask is hammered and true to his name swinging a Hipflask. He wants Tess to come with him to his ex’s house. Unsurprisingly Tess is not keen because she has Lexy right where she wants her. He pulls on her heartstrings by telling her that his extra costume fitting was not motivated by sexual leanings from the maybe real Lip Service costume lady, but to fit a corset for him because he’s a little chubby round the edges.

He attempts to leave in his car, but because he is smashed Tess fears this action. She selflessly agrees to drive him to his ex-wife Maggie’s house because he tells her it’s a stone’s throw away and she knows he cannot drive while downing his hipflask.

They arrive at the house and she learns they are there to deliver a dog a present. This does not float her boat – she wants to be back on the rooftop with Lexy talking about last night drinking vodka.

Tess texts Lexy a message that communicates she will return to her shortly. Whilst Hipflask makes them head into Maggie and Tom Delaware’s back garden to deliver a dog a present.

Hipflask gets himself into a tiswas about his dog’s plush new all singing all dancing kennel in the garden. Because he is a bit fixated and a bit alcohol fuelled, Hipflask tries to smash a window with a garden fork. Tess wrestles with him because this is clearly a bit mental. The police arrive and they rush to hide in the kennel, which is all a bit ironic.

Lee: This scene is unacceptable. I feel like I was misunderstood when I said I liked these Hipflask scenes because now we have a six minute caper that I do not want. Sarah: None of us want this. I want more Lexy and Tess, more Artful Dodgeress or more fraught-cop. Lee: Basically any of the other characters.

Back at the book launch Ed is bathing in the glory of his new fan club, which seems to hang on his every word. That is until Nora claws them from him by talking about an acting role she once had that she knows will get the attention back on her. Ed looks quizzical and a very tiny bit angered.

Back with Hugh and Tess and the police are there and Maggie is there and Tom Delaware is there and it turns out that Hugh was a bit of a shagger and that’s the real reason his wife left him. So what? That’s what we’re thinking. We’ve taken right against Hugh now for selfishly ruining Tess’s potential moment of happiness. And also taking up at least seven minutes of the show that could have just been Sadie sitting on a chair being f—ing awesome.

DS Sam Murray sits alone in her flat swigging a bottle of the dark stuff. She pulls out the bag of the white stuff (not milk) from her pocket, which she took from the junkie scum that she interviewed earlier.

The book launch is drawing to a close and Nora is pleased that she has pleasured the huddle of sci-fi fans by lying to them about working with Peter Jackson and the likes. Lexy walks past with her alien cardboard friend, suggesting they may have encounters of the sexual kind; this is because she is drunk on the whole pitcher of vodka Tess left her with.

Nora is still harping on about giving the sci-fi enthusiasts the old razzle, dazzle treatment because that’s how she rolls: she’s an old time showbiz crowd pleaser.

Ed can just about stomach Nora’s attitude until she mixes Lord of the Flies with Lord of the Rings. At this point he does go a little bit wobbly at her literary ignorance sharply declaring:

Ed: They’re totally different.
Nora acknowledges nothing and breezes on past him.

Lee: She’s f—ed this now. Ed will never be able to have sex with someone who has never seen Lord Of The Rings. In a complete act of retribution at her past life, DS Sam Murray takes a line of coke. She uses her police ID badge to chop the line and snorts the badger from an old photo of Cat.

Lee: Poor Sam, this is awful, but I understand why it’s happening. Sarah: She spent so long being the perfect girlfriend and now it doesn’t matter a jot.

Tess runs back to the book launch after her garden party debacle. Nighttime has fallen and everything has shut up shop so she appears like a stranger in the night creeping between the shadows which is handy because she sees Ed and Nora having a right old barny outside. She creeps behind a wall to watch without being spied. Ed has finally seen the real Nora for the first time.

Ed: Tess was right about you: you’re a self-centered bitch. This was a mistake, we were not meant to be together. Nora: OK, look I get it. You’re upset about Cat – Ed: Don’t, don’t even go there, Cat would have hated you. See you around.
They part ways and Tess is left feeling none too clever about her name being used as a weapon to fire at Nora.

A coked-up-to-the-eyeballs DS Sam Murray enters a club clearly after some friction of a different kind. Like two piranhas, her eyes circle the room, seeking out some potential pursuit. Lee: This scene is very like the scene in The L Word when Bette goes fishing in New York.

Lauren and Sadie sit upon an old barge that Sadie used to clean in a previous day job. She reminisces about the way she used to consider sailing the boat away when she had a bad day and Lauren picks up that this is The Artful Dodgeress all over: a lady that liketh no strings. Lauren admits that she too was a bad girl pre-Jo Glass and wonders whether this admission unsettles Sadie, because she is not the person Sadie thought she was. This is a bit complex for Sadie who purely seems to thrive on hedonism and fun.

Sadie: I didn’t think anything. I was too busy staring at your arse wasn’t I.
They are having a whale of a time and Sadie looks genuinely content with Lauren on the barge. Sam continues to scout out the female species until she detects one that shakes her maracas and heads over to initiate their connection. They go back to DS Murray’s house that she no longer shares with Cat, and Sam coldly f–ks her against a wall. It is apparent that Sam is struggling through it and tells her conquest not to speak.

Sarah: This is very like the scene in The L Word where Bette picks up the conquest in the bar and takes her home and f–ks her and tells her not to speak.

Tess comes home to see Lexy passed out, flat on her back on the sofa with her cardboard alien friend erected beside her. Tess is frustrated by her night ending like this. Sadie straddles up beside Tess watching Lexy. Sadie realizes the script in Tess’ head did not end like this.

Sam has sobered up and no longer wants her house guest to be a guest in her house. When she asks why she needs to leave and what did she do?

Sam: You’re just wrong.
Tess covers Lexy with a blanket and during this she tells her that she is “lovely.” Tess’ imaginary script has been part played out and she walks away with a warm fuzzy feeling. Lee: I really loved that. I love them all. I want to go and tidy Sam’s house and make her soup, hang out with Lexy, Tess and Ed in the 13th Note and go out clubbing with Sadie. Sarah: It has to be Lexy and Sam doesn’t it? I think her and Tess are good mates, but I just thing the heat is with Sam. Lee: We’ll find out next week, last one, it’s come so quickly.

So lesbians we’re at the final episode already. Still no re-commission so here’s what you can do. Tweet @bbcthree and let them know your views, and join the Lip Servant army on Facebook.

This week it was announced that there will be an official Lip Service Fan Party in Glasgow on 15th July. Find out more information and how to get tickets here.

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