Tess and Hipflask seem to be the first at rehearsals and shoot the breeze about Ed’s pathetic ways now that he’s fallen heads over heels for Nora. Tess moans about her now distinct lack of friends and Hipflask asks about her new flatmates. Tess becomes dreamy eyed.
Tess: Sadie is a bit of a pain, but Lexy is lovely, really kind and understanding, you know?
Hipflask: Tess? Have you fallen for your roomie?
Tess: No. God No … OK, maybe a little bit, but you know it’s pretty hopeless. I mean she hardly looks at me or not like she’s looking at me naked anyway.
Hipflask: Sext her. Show her what she’s missing. It’s what all the kids are doing now apparently.
Tess: Um, no. Because then she’d think I was a psycho. I did actually try asking her out this morning but she said she was busy, so …
Hipflask informs her that a date akin to a pie and a pint is not going to tickle Lexy’s biscuit. She needs to up the ante but Tess feels this could end up being a beautiful disaster, and so do we, especially if we are guided by Tess’ previous form.
Sadie is at the day job dressed like a French maid. We know what you’re thinking, but no, she serves cheese to diners in a well to do restaurant. She looks at herself with embarrassment and tosses the horrid hat away only for the head honcho to walk pass, notice her naked head and tell her to put on “her f–king hat,” all in a Glaswegian accent that would make your tonsils shake.
Lexy walks in on Bea having a barny on the phone with her partner Susie. Lexy asks if their fuck-buddydom is causing tensions, as she could quite easily sidestep out of the way. The ease with which she suggests this, reasserts that this really is a friendship without any emotional feelings for Lexy. Bea clearly does not feel the same way and tries to rein Lexy back in with an offer of an encounter of the sexual kind that very evening. Lexy reminds her that she is meeting Sam, and Bea is left looking frustrated.
Hipflask is moaning on about Tom Delaware to Tess again: his nemesis and dark obsession. Tess matches the darkness by suggesting she could kill Nora and possibly get away with it, but before she suggests exactly how it could be done, Nora bounds in. She’s bleating out an apology to Tess for going to the awards ceremony and taking her place. She has bought her a bottle of champers as a peace-offering. Tess (and we) actually think this is good as far as peace-offerings go.
Sam is reading letters of condolences at her kitchen table. Amidst this gloom, she picks up a call from Lexy, and like a schoolgirl asking her out her first crush, Lexy asks whether Sam can be her plus one for the vino bash. Sam agrees and Lexy shivers with glee. This glee is thrown out the window however when she goes to her locker to find it open with a note that says, “I know.” She is visibly concerned.
Sarah: Harriet Braun has gone all Tarantino this series. There’s a foray into so many different genres. We’ve had drama, comedy, police drama, medical drama romance, slapstick, and now we’re getting thriller/ suspense.
Lee: I would give anything for her to take it all the way and complete the Tess/ Nora storyline with a Bride vs. Elle Driver showdown.
Sarah: Too dangerous. Tess would end up gouging out her own eye by mistake.
Back to Sadie, who incidentally would make an incredible Kill Bill-esque assassin, but for now is still dressed like a French maid with the hat firmly on. She begins her cheese trolley duties with as much enthusiasm as a lactose intolerant vegan. She notices Lauren sitting in the restaurant, ducks behind the Cheddar and pulls off her hat.
Lauren apologies about her recent rude behaviors and tells her that it was driven by her hectic work schedule. Sadie, as sharp as a tack, questions if she’s so busy then why is she sitting there casually drinking wine, in a ruse to see her. Sadie may have cornered Lauren into a corner. We would also ask how the goat’s cheese did Lauren know that Sadie worked there? This is a Brie-shaped plot wonder.
Sam and Lexy sit side by side at the wine tasting event. They are the youngest attendees there by a country mile. It is a very well to do affair and Sam and Lexy smirk to each other at the pompousness of the teacher’s analysis of the plonk. The teacher cottons on to Sam’s rather loud smirk and asks Lexy to talk about the flavours she is getting. When she lists wet carpet as the final flavour that’s tickling her receptors, the attendees shake their beards and the teacher nearly self-combusts with her petulance.
Wine Connoisseur: A grape may just be a grape to you, but everyone else is here to learn something about this fascinating Boudreaux.
Sam and Lexy leave as they burst into hysterics once more.
Lee: There was nice chemistry between those two in this scene. I’m feeling things.
Sarah: Nice to see the DS having a giggle.
Sadie’s French Maid costume has gone from cheeseboard to headboard as she ties Lauren’s hands behind her head and brings her to orgasm. Fully in control, the Dodgeress makes Lauren apologise for her rudeness earlier.
Lauren gets a work phone call that pulls her out of bed and jolts her back into the stress of work. Sadie asks her about a party she overheard her mention, but Lauren tells her that it’ll be as dull as dishwater. Lauren skips away like a woman who has just been f–ked by a hot French maid in her lunch break, handing Sadie a wodge of cash to cover the hotel room. This leaves Sadie looking slightly dejected and perhaps feeling slightly used.
Lexy and Sam are outside drinking wine, giggling together because of that aforementioned chemistry, plus they are most likely half cut by now.
Sam: Oh God, it feels like I haven’t used those muscles in a while. [playing with her jaw]
Lexy: Sam, you don’t have to feel guilty about having fun.
Sam: I thought Cat was f–king Frankie.
Sam: It doesn’t matter, I was wrong. I just, I feel a little bit shit about it.
Lexy tries to diagnose Sam telling her that guilt is a very normal emotion post loss but Sam laughs this off suggesting they are together not for professional chats but to drink wine. But it just so happens that Lexy needs Sam’s professional advice. She tells Sam about her latest weird encounters and wonders what the devil she thinks may be going on. Sam questions whether it’s Lexy’s girlfriend playing silly buggers. Lexy tells her that she doesn’t have a girl, to which Sam looks pained, because now neither does she. She makes her excuses to visit the little ladies room.
Inside, Sam begins to get the first stirrings of another attack and heads straight for a fire exit. After a while, Lexy follows Sam’s trail to find her outside breathing uncomfortably into her hands. Lexy calms her and Sam comes out of her state and runs her eyes over Lexy’s face which suggests a stirring of sexual wonderment. Lexy snaps her from this and walks her home.