Sam goes round to pick up some things from Tess for the funeral, including photos from when she and Cat were at University. Whilst Tess collects them, Sam thanks Lexy for her interjection at the hospital. Frankie emerges from her bedroom, immediately spots Sam and bolts out of there like a horse bolting out of the bolts. There’s a silence and nobody knows what to do until Sam leaves to make her way to Cat’s parents.
At Judy and Gerry’s house, Judy prepares tea and chocolate biscuits for Sam’s arrival.
Ed sits like a petulant child at his mum’s unnecessary fussing.
Gerry speaks for the first time in Lip Service history.
Gerry: Can I help with anything dear?
Judy: Gerry, Gerry sit down. I don’t need you under my feet.
Judy is worried that Sam might be a diabetic and unable to eat chocolate. She shouts at Gerry for not buying digestives. This classic coping mechanism of displacement shines brightly through the tragedy. The doorbell goes and Ed jumps up like a whippet to answer it.
Frankie visits Cat in her open coffin, crying and apologising at the helplessness of it all. We cry again at the sight of Frankie’s sobs. We may be slightly pre-menstrual.
Back at Gerry and Judy’s house, the funeral director tries to orchestrate the forthcoming plans. Judy places herself as the authority on the logistics but Sam wants to represent what she thinks Cat would really want.
Sam: I was wondering, maybe we should have Cat’s favourite flowers. She loved lilies.
Judy: She never mentioned it to me.
Judy then suggests Cliff Richard as the record of choice and as much as we all love Britain’s number one bachelor singing in the rain come Wimbledon, Ed and Sam both know Cat would not want him at her funeral. Judy cracks and consumes herself in a persecution complex. Ed comforts her and Sam looks on, a grief-stricken solitary figure cradling some very ordinary tea.
The day of the funeral is upon them. Tess has laddered her tights and Frankie has decided that she is not going. Sadie visits to see if Frankie is okay because Frankie is a friend in need, and Sadie is turning out to be a friend indeed.
Frankie: I can’t sit there with Sam and Cat’s parents and just pretend like we were just good friends and nobody knowing what we meant to each other.
Lee: Hmm, how to make the situation completely about yourself.
Sadie tells her that she knows and that’s the important thing, to pull her socks up, change out of her jogging bottoms and go because she will surely regret it if she does not.
Sarah: Sadie is such a good one here, just the ticket for Frankie.
Gay stud and Lexy are on their lunch break and chatter over the hospital canteen picks. Gay stud is very insensitive and suggests that now Cat is no more, there’s an opening for Lexy to get it on with Sam. However karmic forces are clearly in pursuit because he leaves Lexy to go and chat up the radiologist of his affections and gets blatantly shunned, much to Lexy’s delight.
Sarah: These two are so funny together; this scene is actually a bit of a relief.
The funeral is about to begin and John Denver booms out from the church much to Ed, The Jaygermeister, Tess and Sam’s dismay. Frankie has still not reared her pretty head.
Jaygermister: Maybe she couldn’t take it?
In the background Judy croaks on about the hyacinths — and not lilies. Sam reveals that she hasn’t yet told her parents about Cat, so as not to ruin their holiday. This is a very strange thing, and suggests that it’s still not quite real in the hot cop’s sad head.
The Jaygermeister announces that he’s upping sticks and heading to the Big Smoke because as recent events have shown him, life is a very precious thing. This makes us sad, even though we weren’t massive Jaygermeister fans. We just feel a little needy.
Lee: I hate change.
Sarah: This whole episode feels like change so you better deal with it.
At the funeral, the service is led by a priest who takes a very traditional spin on proceedings. He calls Ed “Edward” and doesn’t mention Sam at all. Tess remarks on the ridiculousness of it all to Ed who agrees his parent’s choice is not one that is too clever.
Jaygermeister and Tess are worried that Frankie still hasn’t shown up and how she’ll handle the situation. Jay admits to Tess that he also knew about Frankie and Cat’s liaisons before her death.
Edward delivers a heart-wrenching speech about how Cat was much more than just a big sister; she was in essence his rock and he needs her now to help him cope with this. James Anthony Pearson is just a superstar in this scene.
Sarah: Please pause this for a minute so I can blow my nose.
During his speech Frankie creeps in and takes a pew on a pew at the back. Ed hands the reigns to Sam and before she utters a word Frankie once again bolts.
Sam: Cat was the best thing that ever happened to me. I thought I would have kids with her and grow old with her. I never thought I would be here today saying this.
Lee: FFS pause this for a minute so I can blow my nose.
Frankie goes to the boozer get shitfaced on whisky. The barman looks judgmental that she’s drinking so early, and we can tell you that this is entirely unrealistic in Scotland.