In the bar, Fin and DS Murray are having a right good laugh, when Tess returns laden with tiny, free bottles of shots. Cat returns to the table and looks murderously over at Frankie and Sexy Lexy laughing about something. She downs her drink and then snaps at Sam.
Just then Fin notices some of her team mates arriving:
Fin: Tigger, Badger, over here.
The girls immediately begin discussing football and Tess beckons to Cat to make an escape. This whole butch vs. femme thing with Fin’s friends is a little dull and we couldn’t care for it much, so we’re going to skip over this bit to instead discuss Ed’s dancing.
It’s phenomenal. He looks like a camp Ian Curtis, and the boys at Rubies love him.
Cat asks Tess if Sexy Lexy is going to move in and looks aghast at the news that she and Frankie have previously bumped uglies. At that moment Frankie and Sexy Lexy put their jackets on and head towards the exit. Cat’s eyes widen even more. They are distracted by an over-excited Ed who is delighted by the attention he’s receiving from the gay boys on the dancefloor.
Jay: Have drugs made you gay?
Ed dances off gaily.
Outside Frankie and Sexy Lexy are having a smoke. Lexy asks if Frankie is OK and she tells her that it’s just bog-standard girl woes. Lexy then asks, with no subtlety at all, if Sam and Cat are a couple. Frankie says yes but she shouldn’t let that put her off, and Lexy looks amused, probably understanding that Cat is the girl giving Frankie the woes.
Inside, Tess, Ed and Jay are dancing like there’s no one watching. Tess does some impressive headbanging until she falls right over onto the dancefloor.
Lee: That is the best scene yet. Rewind it.
Sarah: So very good, so yes, let us take it on one more time.
Cat is at the bar drinking wine and generally being miserable. Sam comes over and asks if she is okay, and because she is a topnotch girlfriend, agrees without argument to leave when Cat says she’s just really tired. Frankie and Sexy Lexy come back through the smoking door just in time to see the pair exit and Frankie looks like she’s smelled something unpleasant.
Cat and Sam arrive home.
Sam: I’m ready to hit the hay; I’m getting way too old to party on a school night.
Lee: The last time anyone said “hit the hay” must have been the last time DS Murray had a school night.
Cat: [In a really snide tone] Pick up your towel from the bathroom floor on the way.
Sam: Yeah, if you ask me nicely maybe?
Cat: [Pouring more wine] I just wish you’d tidy up after yourself.
Sam tells Cat that she knows she’s stressed out about the pitch and taking it out on her. She rightly stomps off to bed and Cat chucks something on the floor, which makes her a total hypocrite as well as a cheat and a liar.
Back at Rubies, Frankie is downing shots and accessing the room with hungry eyes, she is now on a mission to fill her Cat shaped hole with another.
She spots her prey sitting alone at the bar and makes her move, fully embodying all of the three C’s and the fourth C — cocaine.
Cat gets into bed with Sam and rubs her shoulder and says sorry that she’s a harpy one. Sam agrees but tells her that she is a loveable harpy. We do not agree, but it’s not our place to come in the middle of this and make judgment. Or is it? Sam then tells her that everything will be OK and that good things happen to good people. Well, Cat must be shitting herself now.
Frankie arrives home with some blonde bit from the bar. The blonde makes nervous conversation as Frankie seems to have become a mute. She picks up one of Tess’ herbal boxes of tea:
Blonde: Whoa, Hibiscus and Goji Berry? Who knew?
Lee: Ah, using the old tea/sex rhetorical concept, are we?
Sarah: The Goji Berry reference is definitely leading to sexy time, not tea time.
They have a beer and the blonde goes in for a snog but Frankie has stage fright and can’t go through with it. To try to get her back in the mood, the blonde says: “Are we doing this or not?” In her Glaswegian accent, this sounds more like a threat so we can’t blame Frankie for opting out. The blonde is annoyed and calls the general lesbian population a bunch of f–k-ups before leaving.
Lee: She was a good extra. They should give her a proper part.
Sarah: I thought her hair was a triumph.