"Great LezBritian" is a fortnightly stroll through the very best of British lesbo-centric entertainment and culture. Plus there will be some jolly good interviews with the top ladies who are waving the flag for gay UK.
So here we are again ladies, all 600,000 of us it seems. The opening titles are different; they’ve been sexed up with a lip nibble and some thigh rubbing.
Lee: Do you think they’ll change them every week?
Sarah: I’ve got no idea.
Lee: If you had to say or die.
The episode opens with dawn breaking and orgasmic groans from Lou Foster writhing in bed. Tess is under the sheets doing something rather satisfying to her.
Lou looks really good at first light. She still has a face full of perfect make-up, while Tess looks a bit dishevelled with mascara snot in her eyes. We soon realise this is because Lou Foster is a "receiver" and when Tess tries to guide her hands under the duvet, Lou looks at her watch and makes out she’s in a bit of a rush to get to the studio. Poor Tess has just realised that the New Radicals were full of s–t and you don’t necessarily get what you give.
There is a naked Roxanne McKee bottom shot as she gets up for a shower. We have nothing else to say about this – it speaks for itself. They have a brief discussion about the lame activities an out of work actress like Tess can do to fill her day. Tess then has a brainwave about becoming a runner for "In the Afternoon with Lou & Tom." Lou is clearly not overly keen on this idea, but perhaps because Tess is so adorable, she agrees to put a word in, with a caveat:
Lou: Tess, you wouldn’t be able to tell anyone about us.
Tess: God no, I completely understand. I would say we were just friends or something.
Tess is such a brilliant secret girlfriend.
As Lou heads into the shower, Tess pleasures herself with a handy battery operated device.
Sarah: What a rubbish state of affairs – pleasuring yourself straight after sex with your girlfriend.
Lee: I’m worried for Tess. First Chloe, now Lou. She deserves better.
Frankie is dressing for Dead Aunt Carol’s funeral. She stares at herself in the mirror and realises that if she wears Shane’s wedding suit to the funeral, those pesky comparisons won’t go away. Thankfully, she rips it off.