Great LezBritain: “Candy Bar Girls” recap – Episode 1

 
 

To be fair, Jessie D also seems sad to see her three-year relationship end.

Jessie D: I fear I may go a little wild now, because I have that single thing going on.

Jo is going to a job interview with her former employer, G3 Magazine, a free lesbian monthly magazine. It’s not a normal interview. There are no questions like, “Where do you see yourself in five years’ time?” Instead, Jo She regales her former boss with tales of her travels and a recent 11-day relationship. Her ex-boss can hardly contain her disgust at such a feeble attempt at a relationship. But despite this, she does offer her a job once again. Her first assignment is to cover Candy Bar and thus the connection is made.

Shabby meets a friend who is wearing a hat very similar to hers and they discuss her relationship with Red.

They come up with a genius plan to write a message, “I like you lots,” in red paint, take a picture of it and then send it. Red replies.

Red: [text message] That made my willy smile…

Jessie D goes to meet Sandra and Gary at Candy Bar at the request of Sandra. They have picked someone from the photo shoot that they want to represent their new lesbian empire and go to reveal who the devil it is.

Lee: Please let it be Sandra.

Of course though it’s Jessie D, although she is not best pleased with her pose which has her smiling emphatically, indeed that mouth couldn’t be stretched anymore if she tried.

Gary is in another flap, Candy Bar opens in three hours and the place looks in no fit state. Plus Gary has eyeballed some pink balls. He looks like he is about to take a proper wobbly. Sandra hotfoots it to do an interview with new G3 employee Jo, who only happens to be wearing a pink dress. She’s playing a dangerous game if Gary sees her.

Gary opens Candy Bar’s doors. There is not an expectant throng quite at that point, but later Jessie D, Shabby and Red in unmatching hats and Barmaid Alex drinking in her bra are all having the time of their lives. Sandra tells how the night has been a success and thus the new Candy Bar is born.

Sarah: Sorry my love, what did you say? I’ve blanked off.
Lee: A bit dull wasn’t it?
Sarah: Yes and I’m in two minds about whether to be glad that at least it’s a bit dull and not a horrendous car-crash like The Real L Word – but we’ve got to recap this for six weeks so I hope something happens.
Lee: I hope they change the voiceover, make it funnier, introduce a few new characters and make Jo’s mum be all over this show like a rash.

“Great LezBritain” authors Sarah, a Londoner, and Lee, a Glaswegian, met in a gay discotheque one bleak mid winter, eight years ago and have been shacked up together ever since. When not watching Tipping The Velvet,
they find time to write, run a PR company, DJ at their own club nights and love a bit of jam on toast. Follow them on Twitter at greatlezbritain.

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