Mike also decides that positive reinforcement is the way forward. He grabs Jake in the hallway after class and tells him he’s a triple threat and to own it. They tag-team “I Wish,” and I do like Jake and I do think he’s talented but the only person who can hold their own dancing next to Harry Shum Jr. is Heather Morris and she doesn’t even go here anymore.
Kurt doesn’t really go here either, but he is always welcome, and so is Burt, which works out well because Kurt drags him to the choir room to “celebrate life’s most treasured and wonderful gift: a second chance.” Burt thinks he’s talking about a second chance at life and Blaine thinks he’s talking about a second chance at love and The Backlot doesn’t care what he’s talking about; they just want the camera to pan down because Kurt is wearing another pair of those spray-on jeans.
Naw, for real. Kurt sings a song his dad used to sing to him and it is “You Are The Sunshine of My Life.” I started crying one nanosecond into it and cried the whole way through and not just because Chris Colfer’s dance moves are everything important in this life.
Because she hasn’t spent much time in the business (or watched even one season of American Idol or, like, any TV commercial ever, including ones for candy bars) Mercedes has been operating under the delusion that talent, rather than sex, is what sells. She is incorrect, obviously. Her producer calls to say that if she won’t show her tits and fanny on her new album cover, there’s not going to be an album at all. So Mercedes tells him that’s just fine. She’ll sell her own CDs out of a box in her church parking lot. (I would walk 500 miles to buy that CD.) Mr. Schue says he’s proud of her because even though she doesn’t have a record deal, she has her integrity, and now also she has a reason to move to New York too. She sings a little “Higher Ground” and me and Unique are in raptures the whole time.
Guess who talks Artie into going to film school? Mmm hmm. It’s Kitty. Well, actually, it’s his mom, but only because Kitty drops by to tell her Artie is freaking out about leaving home. Artie’s mom tells him that these Lima storylines are a sinking ship and if he wants to survive, he’s got to get his ass to Bushwick. He agrees. They hug. It’s very sweet.
And finally, Blaine requests an audience with Burt Hummel so he can present him with a gay rainbow pin and also ask his permission to marry Kurt. Burt, amazingly, goes, “Dude, are you off your nut right now? Have you learned nothing from watching Finn and Rachel? Look, you love Kurt, right, with all your whole heart? And you know in your bones that this thing between you is for forever, yeah? Relax into that knowledge, Blaine. Don’t put him in a chokehold to keep from losing him. Just reach out your hand and when he grabs hold, take the next small step, together.”
Burt Hummel: Best dad of all dads.
New Directions close it out with “For Once in My Life.” Kevin McHale gets his first solo since, like, season two or something. He sounds fantastic. They look like a melon-colored Brady Bunch-themed wedding up there, but they sound like they’re ready to bring home that Regionals trophy.