Mr. Schue says this week’s theme is Wonder-ful, like Stevie Wonder-ful, because Rachel’s about to be the new Babs, and Mercedes is back to do more than backup sing for Rachel and cockblock Blaine and Kurt, and Mike Chang is here which means there will be real dancin’, and also Will managed to re-re-propose to Emma without the assistance of 20 caroling youths.
One person who is not really feeling Wonder-ful is Artie, which, bizarrely enough, is only noticed by Kitty. She chases down Artie in the hallway and confesses that she keeps everyone on their toes by being the greatest some days and the worst on other days, but today happens to be one of the good ones, so how come Artie is so sullen and withdrawn? It’s because he got accepted to a Brooklyn film school — conveniently located two blocks from the Hummelpezberry loft, one presumes — but that he is not going because his mom is too worried about him. Kitty decides the antidote to his worries is a rousing rendition of “Signed, Sealed, Delivered,” during which performance she flies through the air a little bit and also throws herself at Artie in a semi-sexual way. She lets it slip to the whole group that Artie got into film school and everyone cheers and everyone claps and Artie scowls and bounces.
The Lima Bean. So, 4G in Ohio is really slow. Like reaaaallly slow. Blaine checks his tweets and sees that the Marriage Equality Act was just signed into law in New York. He’s very excited about it. Kurt’s face goes, “Yes, that is a thing that just happened — in 2011.” But he knows, like we know, that Blaine is just using this “news” as an excuse to say the word “marriage” over and over in Kurt’s presence to get him acclimated to the idea. And just as a confirmation, he sort of whispers at Kurt: “You look cute today. And I mean, like, dirty cute.”
Also looking dirty cute is Mike Chang, who is back to direct Mercedes’ music video while they work together to coach New Directions though Regionals. Mercedes wants to talk about Kurt and Blaine’s whole deal, Mike wants to talk about how his ex-girlfriend straddled Blaine in his sleep and did non-consensual Vaporub things to him, and Blaine’s over there just going “weddings, gay weddings, marriage in New York, gay marriage in New York, equality, weddings, love love, weddings.” Kurt snaps and says none of that stuff is important night now, because I guess Kurt doesn’t read Tumblr. The four of them hold hands and use the power of their collective awesomeness to heal Burt’s cancer.
And it works! Because at the doctor’s office Burt finds out that he doesn’t have anymore cancer! Kurt forgives him for wearing a death-colored t-shirt under his flannel and they hug and it is lovely.
Back at McKinley, Mercedes and Mike have brought their own brand of teaching to glee club. Mercedes decides the best thing she can do — and she is quite right — is to sing for them to demonstrate the greatness to which they should all aspire. She chooses “Superstition” because it not only showcases her vocal abilities; it also has just the right beat for her to smack Marley in the head with a random maraca. Also, she gives everyone a pep talk about how there’s nothing to be afraid of on this show because everything from paralyzation to prostate cancer can be cured by magic. “So sing with your soul and trust that these writers can’t even remember their own names most days!”