Words can’t do justice to the next part. Roz makes Blaine and Becky repeat back a promise never to hex her, emphasis on the “neeeeeevvvver.” It’s so ridiculous and so hilarious. If we get outtakes from any scene this season, I hope it’s this one. The editor probably had 30 takes to work from and Darren Criss must have broken in every one of them because even in the one they aired, he’s almost giggling up when he says “do solemnly swear.”
After the blood oath, Blaine asks Becky what she knows about the gun thing, but she tells him to fuck off and then tips over a xylophone. Like she does.
Whenever Will starts to feel bad about himself, he climbs up onto the stage in the auditorium and shuts his eyes and forgets that matador thing and also how he was tied up in some NSync ropes here just three weeks ago and imagines the whole planet cheering for him and throwing glitter at him and handing him a giant trophy that says “World’s Best.” It’s a thing Finn does too. That’s how come he knows where to find Mr. Schue to propose marriage to him. They agree that they want to be partners, equal partners, legal-at-the-federal-level partners. And then they hug it out.
(This hug is brought to you by Noah Puckerman, who, happy though he is to be living in the middle of a big budget Harlem Shake video, refuses to let Finn derail his dreams of becoming a teacher just because his new favorite fight is the one that’s about your right to paaaartay.)
Inspired by his engagement to the true love of his life — the time-traveling 18-year-old version of himself — Will returns to New Directions to beg their forgiveness and request one of Marley’s Original Songs for Regionals. He makes a 20-minutes speech first, of course, about his glory days and rolls out a red carpet for Finn’s return, but in the end he makes the glee kids happy by listening to their suggestions and letting them sing what they want.
They are, they are, they are / stronger from every scar / brighter than every star. Outcasts, y’all. They’re outcasts.
This is insane. They’re going to get slaughtered at Regionals. If they’re going to sing a song from a Saturday morning cereal commercial, at least they could do the one from Fruity Voodoo Pebbles. Brittany was right. This year’s theme should have been sweaters.