Speaking of which, Finn and Puck have set up a slip-n-slide in their hallway and are charging admission to join the fun. For one bikini top, you get a iron-flavored grilled cheese sandwich and a turn on the slide. Mr. Schue wanders into the chaos to apologize to Finn for not accepting his apology, but Finn rebukes his offer of reconciliation because he’s got frat parties to attend.
Back at McKinley, Will is still yammering about how people in the ’80s sang about dreamin’, but Blaine interrupts him to tell him that his idea for Regionals is shit. OK, and Will Schuester, the grown man who laid all of his and Finn’s drama bare for the whole glee club to see, the guy who dragged an entire gaggle of teenagers with him to reconcile with his fiance, the dude who one time tap danced around in a full matador costume for like six straight minutes, he just comes out of the frame about how these guys aren’t showing him any respect. He yells at Unique to stop talking about her boobs, hollers Sam to stop goofing around about Evan, hisses the word “disappointed” at Blaine, and bounces up out of there to get the cup of coffee he sacrificed when he showed up to choir practice five minutes early.
Like, his attachment to New Directions has ruined at least two of his most intimate relationships, but he’ll be goddamned if he’s going to let these little brats get between him and his teacher’s lounge coffee.
Marley calls Unique and Blaine and Sam together to sing one of her Original Songs. It’s all very, “I wish we could all get along like we used to in middle school. I wish I could bake a cake filled with rainbows and smiles and everyone would eat and be happy.” To the point where I kept expecting Damien to pop up at the back of the auditorium and shout, “SHE DOESN’T EVEN GO HERE.” Sample lyric: We’re here / to say / who you are / is OK.
Well, but those ol’ glee misfits love it. They say she has to tell Mr. Schue about her hidden talent. But don’t even worry about it. Will is creeping on them from backstage and he overhears the whole thing.
Heads up! Best part of the episode — maybe the season! — coming through! Coach Roz calls Blaine and Becky to her office to tell them that she’s real suspicious of the fact that they’re co-captains of the Cheerios. It’s Fruity Fonzie she’s most worried about. Why? Because he’s never done an actual cheer in his life, but he got Sue to make him co-captain and three weeks later she got fired. Coach Roz has a perfectly logical explanation, though: “That makes me think you used your fruity voodoo powers to put a hex on her that caused her to bring a gun to school for no reason and get real clumsy so she drops it twice and it goes off both times. That sounds like some dark-sided fruity voodoo stuff to me.” She says it all in one big breath while Blaine’s face is teetering on the edge between incredulity and delight. Becky very nearly comes out with the truth but gets it together in time to take Roz’s blood oath and loyalty pledge.