McKinley High School Locker Room of Latent Homoeroticism. Coach Beiste has prepared a very Lady and the Tramp dinner for her and Will. She heard Will is making the glee kids sing their swan songs to one another, so she decides to make a confession as well: She wants Will to be the man in her life because he’s the first dude who was ever “willing to kiss her.” Blech. I’d forgotten that storyline happened, probably because I abandoned it in the middle of the episode and didn’t watch Glee for months afterward. Anyway, to Will’s great credit, he neither freaks out nor patronizes her. He says he’s back together with Emma and that he cares a lot about Shannon, and to prove it he eats the pasta she boiled in the locker room hot tub. (I don’t love anyone on earth enough to eat hot tub noodles.)
The next day at Astronomy Club, Brittany announces that she was wrong about the end of the world again. Turns out Tubbingtonbop was just a dead ladybug on her telescope lens, and that her telescope is actually just a bedazzled Pringles can. After the meeting, Becky asks Brittany if she wants to make a pact never to graduate. She wants them to stay at McKinley and rule the world together forever. Beautiful, intuitive unicorn Brit tells Becky not to be scared of the world outside of McKinley. She says if Becky prepares herself, she’s going to be awesome for always.
Will invites Beiste to glee practice. She’s feeling a little hurt and a little bit like a fool, so Will reminds her that sometimes he raps and she’s like, “Ha! I’d forgotten how weird you can be!”
The next half hour is either the most moving thing Glee has ever done, or the most offensive. I fall in the “moved beyond measure” category, but some of my best friends were ready to throw their TVs into their yards they were so angry about it.
Will claps his hands to get practice started and as he does, a gunshot echoes through the hallway. Will flinches, everyone freezes, and a second gunshot goes off. Chaos erupts as someone turns off the lights and the kids duck and run for cover. Will and Beiste lock the door and try to barricade it with the piano. Students run screaming through the hallways. Blaine helps Artie out of his chair. Brittany is missing, and so is Tina. New Directions cower and cry and wait. Brittany stands alone on top of a toilet seat, locked in a stall in the girls’ bathroom. It’s one of the most traumatizing images I’ve ever seen.
There aren’t enough crying GIFs in the world to express my emotions properly!