Finally, finally, we kick off the New York story with a Kurt-centric plot. While he’s baring his soul to his fellow NYADA thespians in acting class, he voice-over bares his soul to us. He’s got a lot of guilty pleasures: His obsession with marathoning TV shows with powerhouse women — Golden Girls, Murder She Wrote, Moonligting, Desiging Women — and his fully costumed Sweating to the Oldies workout sessions. But his deepest, darkest secret is the boyfriend arm he ordered online one night when he was high on Ambien. His name is Bruce. His embrace is warm and non-judgemental.
Kurt ranks his worry thus: That Santana and Rachel will find out, that Adam will find out, that (God forbid!) Blaine will find out.
The directing and editing in this scene is quite good. During the powerhouse women marathon montage, Kurt keeps getting closer and closer to the camera/his TV, until only the top of his head is visible, like a puppy doing a photobomb. And it’s all cut together with his overwrought acting in his NYADA class. I wonder what it’s like to be Chris Colfer, just getting awesomer and awesomer (handsomer, funnier, smarter) every second of every day simply by nature of existing.
Pajama Time at the Hummelpezberry loft. Kurt is brushing his teeth while Santana is ransacking their beauty products while Rachel is in the shower doing voice exercises. It’s the greatest living situation on earth. Santana is bursting at the seams to tell Rachel that Brody broke up with her because she found out about his hooking ways, but Kurt says if Rachel finds out before her Funny Girl auditions, it will ruin her life. Santana agrees to keep quiet in exchange for one whole row of bathroom shelf space. She also agrees to help Rachel feel better by pranking Kurt. After he’s asleep, they tip-toe into his room with a pot of warm water to try to make him wet the bed, but are rewarded instead by the sight of him wrapped up in Bruce’s arms. Arm. Singular. Bruce’s arm.
Colfer’s delivery is flawless. First, he shrieks, “THE CURTAIN MEANS PRIVACY!” And then he goes, “I thought it was stupid the first time I saw it, too, but I kept thinking about the ad: Are you lonely, do you need companionship. Yes, yes, I need all of those things. It just offers you a nice, protective arm around you while you sleep at night!”
Also flawless is Naya Rivera in those pajamas. From now on, all loft scenes should take place in the middle of the night so we can see Naya Rivera in her pajamas. Santanajamas: It just offers you a warm, sultry memory around you while you sleep at night!